Evolution - Change is Always Possible

 

Perhaps the province of Manitoba has evolved, but there was a time when mental health services for older adults only involved assessments and recommendations based on those assessments.  Other than medication and supportive counselling. no talk therapy was provided to older adults.  The thinking was that it was not a good use of limited resources.  The thinking was that older adults are too entrenched in their thinking and behaviours and don't have the capacity to change.  

Well, my husband and I are a little younger than the older adults they were referring to but we also are not spring chickens.  Recently, I have seen evidence that even us can evolve and change.  

My example is relatively ordinary.  I have had the kind of life that for the most part things came easily to me.  Just recently, I became aware that I usually give up when something becomes difficult.  Unrelated, I have been experiencing a minor health complaint. I did some research and came up with a series of yoga poses.  Can not believe how quickly and efficiently they resolved my health ailment.  But, there was this one pose that I could not do.  Not even close.  But, I have gained a lot from the practice of mindfulness.  One thing about mindfulness is that you never really get good at it.  It is a practice.  Well, it is the same with yoga.  It is a practice.  So, instead of giving up on this pose, I just kept it.  I felt myself getting a little closer and yesterday voila!  I did it.  I can do the bow pose ! Maybe not perfectly and maybe not every day but I can do it.  Instead of giving up, I persisted.  Believe me, that is quite the evolution.  This old grandma learned a new trick!  

My husband's example is much more significant.  He grew up to fear.  He feared everything.  It is hard to explain how fearful he was about even the simplest little things.  One time when he moved, he was fearful about changing pharmacies.  Fearful.  The role that feared played in his life was remarkable.  Unfortunately, he often masked his fear with anger which didn't help many situations.  He has done a great deal of work conquering his many fears.  Today, he found out that the other driver was deemed responsible for a minor fender bender he was in a couple of weeks ago.  When he told me about it, all I could think about was the day the fender bender happened.  It was an annoyance but he wasn't fearful.  Wasn't fearful that he was somehow going to jail.  Wasn't fearful that the car would be written off.  Yes, that is how his fearful mind used to work.  It would go the worse possible scenario.  The tiniest thing that would go off script and he would catastrophize everything.  And the thing is there is no script for life.  Things go off script every single day.  It was an exhausting way to live.  And, it just struck me.  He doesn't live that way anymore.  Things still go wrong but he deals with it.  Not living fear has also opened his mind to the possibility that things might go right.  The evolution is remarkable.  

It turns out change is always possible.  It is something that we have to believe in.  Life is so much better when we embrace that change, however incremental, is always possible.