Blog or white ... because it never is.

I wanted to write about joy today.   It was hard to find.  Another prominent actor has been accused of sexual harassment.  North Korea seems to be "ramping up" their ability to spread evil.  The President continues to act idiotic.  Even Canada has a scandal that seems to be gaining traction.  At my home, one of my friends is experiencing a family crisis and another friend is struggling with familial dysfunction.  My own little blog is being scrutinized by more than one source in an effort to cause trouble in my life.    It is good thing I have something positive in my reserve.  An event that I attended a few months ago which made a lasting impression on me and gave me hope.    It was the funeral of one of my friend's father.   First of all, let me tell you about my friend.  Well, I don't know if we really are friends, but I sure want to be her friend.  My fiance and I have been together for about...

I struggle with anxiety.  Several months ago, I blogged that my anxiety lies.   Well, human beings are in constant stage of evolution, and I feel I evolved a little today. One of my friends told me that I was a very kind person.  Yet, my friend ventured, you are so judgmental and harsh to your anxiety.   Why can't you be kinder to your anxiety?  This required a lot of reflection on my part.  As silly as it sounds, I had to have a conversation with my anxiety.  Of course, I had to listen more than I talked.   Once I was willing to listen, my anxiety told me something important.  My anxiety told me that fundamentally it didn't want to hurt me or to see me suffer.  My anxiety told me that its purpose in my life was to alert me to threats in my environment so that I could deal with these threats more effectively.  My anxiety also told me that it was actually over-protective of me, and that occasionally it alerts me...

It seems like a lifetime ago, but it was something that was bothering me so I discussed it with my therapist who I had been seeing for over a year.  I began seeking therapy as part of my treatment of severe trauma.   You see there was this woman who I worked with a couple of decades ago.  We had lots in common and we shared the same friends.  Professionally, we seemed to really respect each other, however, our relationship was, frankly, respectful.  We were not friends.  We just never clicked.  Overall, she was more analytical and I was more emotional.  I wanted to be friends, but it just seemed to be something that was never going to happen, and we both seemed to be comfortable with that.   One night, I was working late at the office when my husband called to warn me.  He said this woman just came over looking for me and she seemed really angry and she was heading over to the office to find me.  First of all, I cou...

An acquaintance of mine passed away unexpectedly.  I am shocked by her passing, but I am also glad that she is in a better place and she didn't suffer.  She never got over the heartbreak of losing her husband, so I am happy that can be together again. Since Hilda's passing was sudden, a lot of people have expressed their thoughts on her loss on a group facebook page.  One of the comments left me breathless.  A friend of mine commented that she will miss Hilda because she inspired her to live life to the fullest.  I had to read that comment five times to make sure that I was reading it correctly. It wasn't that I had a problem believing that Hilda could be inspiring.  She certainly was inspiring. I was thrilled to watch part of her evolution in the sunset of her life.  I watched her challenge herself out of her comfort zone and to evolve from an introverted serious lady into a self-confident gregarious leader.  She was inspiring. However, the...

I love April Fools Day.  Of course, growing up, everyday was April Fool's Day in our house.  I was fortunate to grow up in a house of laughter and we were always playing pranks.  My dad had an amazing sense of humour.  He taught me to how to take it as well as how to dish it out.  I can only remember a couple of our April Fool's jokes but I remember always laughing.  The ability to laugh at oneself - I will be forever grateful to my parents for giving me that gift.  The ability to find humour in life, again, I don't know I would have gotten through this game of life without such humour. I think that is why my first marriage didn't work.  He didn't find me funny and I didn't dare even try to play an April Fool's joke on him.   Now, I'm engaged to another man.  When I first met him, he didn't have a great sense of humour.  His blog is called "Struggling to Smile" for a reason.  He spent a great deal of time struggling ...