Blog or white ... because it never is.

My partner has diabetes.  I have an anxiety disorder. I don't know how it is for everyone with an anxiety disorder, but this is how it feels for me.   Both of us received our medical diagnosis when we were adults.  His diagnosis was largely the result of poor lifestyle choices.  My diagnosis was the result of a crime being done where I was the victim. We both take medication to manage our diseases.  If he is out having a meal, he has no problem taking his medication in public.  When he gets his medication refills, the pharmacist is proud of him for taking good care of his health.  I feel I have to hide the fact that I take medication and don't tell anyone.  When I get a medication refill, the pharmacist looks at my medication then looks up and down at me making a judgment.   When he was diagnosed, his family gave him lots of encouragement and support.  They asked him lots of questions.  He went to classes for diabetics where he learned how to manage his dise

I love Monday mornings.  Every Monday, we are able to start anew.  Hope springs eternal !!!  Most people make a little resolution every Monday.   I am going to start my diet. I am going to save money by taking my lunch to work each day. I am going to get more steps in and not take any elevators. I am going to get into better shape. I am gong to the gym every day. I am going to menu plan. I am going to get up 15 minutes earlier. Monday is the day that we start the journey on our personal goals. This Monday, Barack Obama returns to USA and public life after a long vacation.  What are his goals today?  How is going to balance not criticizing a current sitting President when said President seems completely devoted to dismantling the legacy left behind? Bill O'Reilly starts his podcast today.  Please resolve not to listen.  He will be less inhibited by advertisers and station regulations, so it is going to be something.  Just what the world doesn't need.   Today is t

So, this just happened...... My partner is physically ill today.  Believe me, there is a significant part of me that is not feeling any sympathy at all for him, but, that's another blog.  However, I am willing to go through the motions of being a caring spouse.  He wanted a McDonald's breakfast this afternoon and I felt obligated enough to get it for him. I entered out on my 15 minute quest. First, I had to make a quick stop at my ATM.  There was a time when going to an ATM was a quick impersonal experience.  A time to take a break from the pressure of having to make small talk with a teller.  Now, even going to an ATM is an experience.  The ATM now knows my name and thanks me for my visit and before I can withdraw a measly $20 of my own money, it has to engage in a conversation with me.  It has to tell me information.  Today, it told me that bank fees were changing on June 15.  Well, I know what that means.  I've had that conversation before.  Bank fees are rising.  

I don't usually like and share facebook posts. I do, however, always feel guilty that I don't.  I feel like I'm going to miss out on a huge windfall of cash, or that if I don't share, there will never be a cure to cancer,   Those kind of things.  But, somehow the world seems to go despite my not sharing. Today, there was one facebook post that gave me such complete and total joy that I could not help share.   It read: "When you're a bigger size woman, people like to say, "Yeah, she's cute in the face."  As if being full figured is such a disgrace.  Honey, I'm cute in the face and thick in the waist.  I look good whether I'm in cotton, leather, or lace.  I'm beautiful, vibrant, and above all, smart.  There is more to me than my weight, I also have a heart. Yes, my clothes may be a bigger size, that just means you have access to a bigger prize.  We are all not self-conscious about our weight.  So don't think you're small

                                                                                                                                                                                                            This only happened once when I was growing up.  It was a Saturday morning after my dad's payday. The only reason that I knew that was my mother was crying and told me that.   My dad hadn't come home the night before.  My mom wasn't worried that he was with another woman.  She already knew that he had been at a poker game.  This had never happened before, but my mom knew already.  I grew up in a small town.  People knew more about each other than we knew about ourselves. My mom knew some other truths as well.  The men that my dad was playing poker with were Ukrainians and they knew how to drink.  My dad was English and largely a teetotaler.  My mother didn't know anything about poker, but she knew that Ukrainians had a genetic predisposition to cards. All my mom

An acquaintance of mine passed away unexpectedly.  I am shocked by her passing, but I am also glad that she is in a better place and she didn't suffer.  She never got over the heartbreak of losing her husband, so I am happy that can be together again. Since Hilda's passing was sudden, a lot of people have expressed their thoughts on her loss on a group facebook page.  One of the comments left me breathless.  A friend of mine commented that she will miss Hilda because she inspired her to live life to the fullest.  I had to read that comment five times to make sure that I was reading it correctly. It wasn't that I had a problem believing that Hilda could be inspiring.  She certainly was inspiring. I was thrilled to watch part of her evolution in the sunset of her life.  I watched her challenge herself out of her comfort zone and to evolve from an introverted serious lady into a self-confident gregarious leader.  She was inspiring. However, the friend that wrote this com

I have had a lot of opportunity in my professional and personal life to see what happens behind closed doors.  Believe me, I have seen it all, but I have never been shocked.  Here is what I have found out.  There is no such thing as a closed door.  Everybody can see what is happening behind that closed door. I first came to terms with this when I was in Grade 5.  That was the year that when birthday parties changed.  No longer did you go over for a few hours on a Saturday.  Birthday parties became slumber parties.  I went to several birthday parties and had a great time.  Then, I was invited to a slumber birthday party that I didn't want to go to.  I didn't know why I didn't want to go, but I knew I definitely didn't want to go behind that closed door.  Sadly, I was right.  Both parents became very intoxicated and it was a scary night for those of us down in the basement pretending that nothing was happening upstairs.  The family endured a number of tragedies.  N

President Trump had a news conference today calling the Free Trade Agreement with Canada a disaster.  He referred to Canada as being as detrimental to the US economy as Mexico.  He referred to Canada as a disgrace when it comes to the US economy.   I don't know about you, but I felt nothing but pride.  We are a threat to the US economy !!! For decades, we have struggled with trying to get the US to take our seriously and now we are a threat. And we are synonymous with Mexico.   Considering there is no such thing as bad press, we should feel intensely proud.  The sad thing is no one is going to believe it because it is just not true.   We are not the type of people who have the capacity to intentionally inflict harm.  We are not protectionists, we are survivalists.  We struggle to maintain our economy so we don't actually have the time to interfere in other's economy.   We are just not "bad boys" by nature.  The USA chooses to use their bullying nature i

Social Justice Warriors have reason to celebrate the parting of ways between Fox News and Bill O'Reilly.  Allegations of sexual harassment against him forced Fox News to axe him from his $20M/year contract. It seems simple.  Man who shows deplorable conduct loses his job after public outcry.  Power to the People !! Unfortunately, nothing is simple, and there is always more than one side to the story.  It used to be three sides to every story; he said, she said, and the truth.  Now, it is more like he spins, she spins, and the truth becomes cloudier. In this case, we have heard more than whispers for several years that O'Reilly has despicable conduct towards women.  This is nothing new.  Fox News has had several opportunities to do the right thing long before yesterday.  They should have taken a stand long ago.  Why didn't they?   Well, one can argue that the public has now become an outcry witness.  However, since this also has happened before, that doesn't seem t

Oh, my blog, I've missed you.......It has been a whole week since I blogged.......it has been a whole week since I have been capable of blogging...... You see, the last week, I have been very busy "feeling" and it has turned out that I could do nothing else.  In 2003, I bad thing happened to me.  Prior to that, I lived a very charmed life, and all of that changed.  Once the bad thing happened to me, I cried a million tears.  I felt a million emotions, and I all I could do was cry.  I cried until there were no more tears inside of me.  Then, I decided that I wanted to get my life back.  I didn't realize how much of a fight that would be.  But, I did it.  It was a different life, of course, one can never unring a bell, but, it was a good life and I was content.  In fact, I felt I was a better person.  I always said that there is a benefit to going through hell because I truly know what is and isn't a problem.  And what I used to think were problems, were no longer

In this world today, we are encouraged that we can be anything we want.  I always think of my mom when I hear this.  My mom had one of those magnetic personalities that everyone wanted to be around.  My mom always had lots of friends and she had the "soft skills" that are so highly in demand right now. To best understand my mom, you can look at the three month period when she was at Rehab Hospital following an above knee amputation of her right leg.  That three months in Rehab were indicative of the way my mom lived her life.  She was a 77 year old babba at that point. My mom was very popular in the hospital.  At first I thought it was because she smoked. There was three young guys in rehab who smoked.  I don't know what their story was but they were in their early twenties and always short on smokes.  My mother always had cigarettes so they would take her out to the area that smoking was permitted for patients and stay with her in exchange for a cigarette. I was f

I really am sick of blogging about President Trump.  I really don't want to give this man any energy, but, unfortunately, I think it is going to be a long 4 years. So, Trump sent limited air missile attacks to Syria targeted at the place where the chemical gas attacks originated.  This is very sad to think that diplomacy will never work in this situation, but, I'm even more saddened to think that this was the right choice.  I think the people of Syria have sufferred so much that they needed a sign, a show of strength from the world. that this has to stop. People are worried that this will cause WW3 because the Russians are supporting the existing Syrian regime.  I don't think we have to lose sleep yet.  The Russians issued a lukewarm condemnation of the US action. Even though I reluctantly think he did the right thing, everything about it still reeks of Trump's con artist approach to government. First of all, he said he was deeply affected by the pictures of inn

Fresh off the Bombardier bonus scandal calmed down, a new bonus scandal.   Phoenix, the new federal pay system, which has never worked properly, has just given bonuses to their middle managers of just shy of $5M.  To be fair, the three most senior executives did not get a bonus (one suspects that they are not suffering), and this was bonuses to middle managers.   This pay company manages 44 of 99 federal departments.  My guess is that they do not offer pay services to the actual Members of Parliament.  Every employee affected that I have seen interviewed has had a heart-breaking story.  Today, I saw a man being interviewed who was a manager of a Warehouse for Corrections Canada.  He said he has only received half of his paycheck since November.   There have been stories of women being denied maternity leave benefits because their record of employment have been inaccurate.  When you first google Phoenix pay, the first thing you see is "how to contact us if you have an issue

The chemical attacks on Syria were horrific.  Unfortunately, this is the latest in a series of horrors this country has endured.  I can't even begin to imagine what life is like there.  There should have been an emergency meeting of the UN Security Council months ago. At times of unexplainable horror, we look to the "Leader of the Free World" to provide comfort and leadership.  Unfortunately, for the "free world", the leader is the President of the United States. For whatever you thought of President George W. Bush, he was a great comforter and leader in times of grief.  He had to address the nation many times trying to comfort and take action to heal. This horrific tragedy could have been the turning point in the "troubled" Presidency of Donald Trump.  I listened with an open mind.  He issued a 78 word statement.  Clearly, he has no concept of government and can only effectively operate in terms of a twitter feed.  72 people were killed in this

I used to be a real fan of Kevin O'Leary.  When Dragon's Den first came on, I learned a lot from his business insights.  Also, my fiance was often mistaken for Kevin O'Leary, so that was pretty cool. Then, as Dragon's Den became more popular, it suffered the same fate as all popular tv shows.  They take what they think made them popular, and then grossly exaggerate it.  Kevin O'Leary honest and direct advice became stinging and superfluous.  He wasn't out to help budding entrepreneurs, he know had a soap box to embarrass and insult them.  He became a cartoon character, albeit a successful one.  His ego became enormous. I guess at some point he saw what was happening south of the border.  Another megalomaniac, who also starred in a reality tv show, and became a cartoon character as well, somehow thought it would be a lark to have power.  Money and name recognition weren't doing it for him anymore.  Somehow, that cartoon character got elected. Kevin O

I can't believe what I just heard happen in Winnipeg.  A man, age undisclosed at this point, met a woman online and decided it was time for a meet.  He went to her home to pick her up and there he was attacked by three people.   Not only was he severely beaten, but he was stabbed multiple times. This was streamed live on facebook.  Someone watching the live feed called the police.  The police attended immediately and the victim was taken to hospital in critical condition.  He since has been upgraded to stable.   The attackers face multiple charges.  This gang of three includes a 44 year old female; a 19 year old female; and an 18 year old male.  We call all read through these lines.  This is such an extreme tragedy. My jaw is still dropped.  Is this what our society has come to?  In the initial news coverage of this story, the reporter reminded that police of all agencies caution that on-line dating can be very dangerous, and this is not the first incident of physica

There is nothing like creating a recipe from scratch.  Even if it is so close to an actual recipe, it really isn't that made up, but that doesn't matter.  I made a creation that my partner loved and I was very proud of.  Food is love and creating something unique is a sign of my love put into it. And, I am a better cook than my mom.  Which I admit, is not a very high bar.  My mother, may she rest in peace, was an amazing person who made me very proud, but, she was a horrible cook.  Atleast that was her reputation.  We will actually never know if she was a horrible cook because she hated to cook and didn't do it. It turned out my mom didn't need to cook.  My mom was very social and had many friends and she had too strong allies, my dad and I. I don't actually remember this, but I've been told this story many times.  I was about 2 1/2 and attending a Fall Supper in Fork River, Manitoba with my parents.  The person in charge of this dinner announced that pie

One of the reasons why I enjoy the Saturday edition of the Winnipeg Free Press is the column on workplace issues written by Barbara Bowes.  I have admired her column for a long time and I respect her thoughts and I find she is usually a trend setter in workplace issues.   I have to admit that I was very surprised that she was writing about workplace bullying, particularly bullying by leadership in the workplace. Surprised, because I thought we were over the issue.  Really, we have spent a decade talking about bullying in all forms and there has been no evidence that this produces positive results.  Many jurisdictions have legislated against bullying in the workplace.   School divisions have spent a great deal of money providing education for all educators and students about the effects of bullying.   To be a volunteer sports coach, you must take education on anti-bullying.  Our workplaces claim to be inclusive, supportive, and tolerant.   So, why does Barbara Bowes think th