Blog or white ... because it never is.

I wanted to write about joy today.   It was hard to find.  Another prominent actor has been accused of sexual harassment.  North Korea seems to be "ramping up" their ability to spread evil.  The President continues to act idiotic.  Even Canada has a scandal that seems to be gaining traction.  At my home, one of my friends is experiencing a family crisis and another friend is struggling with familial dysfunction.  My own little blog is being scrutinized by more than one source in an effort to cause trouble in my life.    It is good thing I have something positive in my reserve.  An event that I attended a few months ago which made a lasting impression on me and gave me hope.    It was the funeral of one of my friend's father.   First of all, let me tell you about my friend.  Well, I don't know if we really are friends, but I sure want to be her friend.  My fiance and I have been together for about 7 1/2 years.  When we were early in our relationship, we had the

Yesterday, Trump retweeted some hate videos aimed at a religion. This was sickening.   For one hour, this was breaking news all over the world.  People were interviewed.   The representatives of the religion targeted explained that they were shocked but not surprised.   They have long accepted that Trump does not view himself as President of all people in the United States, but only the right-wing minority.   They can only hope that the Republican Leadership can do something to end this tyranny.   Condemnation of the retweets was quick and decisive.  David Duke supported the retweets and cheered Trump. And, then, after the first hour..............nothing.  The hateful retweets were not mentioned in any newscast or in any webpage or in any search engine or it was very obscure.  Almost no one mentioned this on social media.   I mentioned a reference to this on my facebook.  It resulted in me having to delete one friend.   Other than that, most people didn't know what I was talk

Another day, another previously respected man accused.   Obviously a strong accusation and apparently detailed and resulted in Lauer being fired.  It is hard to even know we are supposed to feel.  I feel conflicted.  Can you respect a man yet detest what he must have done.  Of course, we feel for the victim, yet, I also feel for his family.   I still want to believe that sexual misconduct is not as prevalent as it obviously is.  I am also starting to question why we have so many accusers and no one is pursuing criminal charges.   Everything seems to be getting more and more complicated.  I am shaken by the news.  I am also saddened that the first I heard of this was a tweet of the former reality star currently occupying 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.   Trump was celebrating that Lauer was fired, not because of the accusation, but because Trump saw this as a victory because Lauer was spreading "fake news".  I guess he will never get this thing called sexual harassment.  I can&

Yesterday, President Trump presided at an event honoring Native American Veterans.  It was to recognize the remarkable courage of the Native Code Talkers, particularly for their contributions in World War II.  We were led to believe that in addition to honoring these Veterans, they were also to receive an apology for not being previously acknowledged as the heroes that they most certainly are.  He went off script for one comment.   In that one comment, he made a racial slur.  The three Navajo Veterans present responded with shock and silence.   Their class and dignity was apparent in contrast with the former reality tv star. I was shocked.  I don't know.  Despite all evidence to the contrary, I still want to believe that somewhere underneath that ridiculous hair lies a brain that understands the significance of his office.  I still want to believe that in his heart he is capable of empathy or atleast compassion to someone who doesn't share his last name.  There is an old sa

We just survived Black Friday, Black Friday weekend sales, and are on the verge of surviving Cyber Monday.   Yes, the previous weekend holiday was used to be called American Thanksgiving.   Now, it is eclipsed to be all about shopping and getting deals. I think Americans have forgotten about the spirit of Thanksgiving.  It is my understanding that originally it was a holiday about two cultures getting together and celebrating fellowship, each of them contributing their own culture and being grateful for the celebration.   Despite two different colours of skin, we can still break bread together.   Instead of focusing on what divides, it is supposed to be a feast where we celebrate what brings us together, and it is not the pursuit of a big screen television. Let us review what happened on the weekend.  Trump spent the actual day of Thanksgiving engaged in a twitter war with an otherwise irrelevant stage mom known as Lavar Ball.   Trump felt that he didn't get enough credit for g

This Canadian believes that I live in the best country in the world.  There are so many things to be proud of;  our natural beauty; our diversity not only in people but in natural wonders; our commitment to social justice; our work ethic; our compassion, to name just a few.  I heard on the news today that we now have factor of which we are the number one country in the world.   We, as Canadians, have more debt per capita, than any other country in the world.  My guess we are not so proud of this one.  The new figures released say that we all have $1.70 in debt for every $1.00 we earn.  I have disclosed that my partner and I were "above average" when it came to debt at the start of 2017.  We are now well "below average" as we have successfully retired over $20,000 of our debt so far this year.  When my partner blogged about our financial "diet" and how it was working for us, a number of people reached out to him asking for help in putting themselves o

There was a Seinfeld episode where Elaine was to read a manuscript for an interview with a publishing house.  Billy Mumphrey.  Of course, Elaine didn't read and had to rely on Kramer for his analysis of the manuscript.   Elaine sort of held her breathe and closed her eyes during her interview when she said that Billy Mumphrey suffered from "unbridled enthusiasm".  It turned out to be a home run.    My partner noted that I recently blogged that his family had a negative trait and to be fair, I should blog about a negative family trait from my family.   I guess he didn't read the entire entry because if he did, he would know that the blog entry wasn't really about his negative trait.  However, fair is fair.   When he challenged me to write about a negative family trait from my family, I could only think, "which one?"  No family is perfect similar to no one being perfect.  I have too many faults to count and could probably write a novel on all my neg

As the former reality star who is currently occupying 1600 Pennsylvania Ave (sometimes) boarded a helicopter with his third wife and 5th child, he paused for less than 2 minutes to answer questions from the press.  About Roy Moore.   Well, Trump said that the most important thing was that the Democratic candidate should not win because his record was awful.  As for Moore, he noted that Roy Moore had denied the allegations and we should listen to him.  Just to recap, Democratic Senator Al Franken was accused by one woman in inappropriate contact.  Franken delivered what happened to be a thoughtful apology for his actions and took full responsibility for his actions.  In context, Franken was a comedian at the time.  I'm not excusing his behavior at the time, not is Franken, just giving some context.  Trump basically felt that Franken needed to be tarred and feathered and publicly stoned.  Roy Moore is a Republican candidate for Senate.  He has been accused by multiple women ove

I struggle with anxiety.  Several months ago, I blogged that my anxiety lies.   Well, human beings are in constant stage of evolution, and I feel I evolved a little today. One of my friends told me that I was a very kind person.  Yet, my friend ventured, you are so judgmental and harsh to your anxiety.   Why can't you be kinder to your anxiety?  This required a lot of reflection on my part.  As silly as it sounds, I had to have a conversation with my anxiety.  Of course, I had to listen more than I talked.   Once I was willing to listen, my anxiety told me something important.  My anxiety told me that fundamentally it didn't want to hurt me or to see me suffer.  My anxiety told me that its purpose in my life was to alert me to threats in my environment so that I could deal with these threats more effectively.  My anxiety also told me that it was actually over-protective of me, and that occasionally it alerts me to threats that don't actually exist.  My anxiety appeal

It has started.  Holiday gatherings.  I was at a gathering this past weekend and I found myself standing in a circle of 5.  I knew the other four by name only, so we just getting to know each other by small talk.  In my circle, there were 2 women and 3 men.  So, we talked about the weather.  We all concluded that it is cold in Winnipeg in the winter.  So, with this knowledge, one man asked a woman if she had any plans for a winter vacation?  The other two men reacted quickly and told that questioner that he needed to be careful "these days" and that question could get him labeled as a pervert and a sex offender.  Who knew, it was possible someone was filming this conversation on their cell phone and it would be all over the internet exposing him as a sex offender.  Both of these men started to denigrate women saying they are so touchy and misinterpret things and you have to be careful when you open your mouth.  Really.  A woman doesn't know the difference between an

I came across a site devoted to publishing actual suicide notes.   I read all the notes because they were interesting and from there I came across more sites devoted to suicide notes.  I feel obligated to say this in case any of my health care team happen to be reading.  I have no thoughts of harming myself of anyone else.  I am currently receiving treatment for depression and my health care team must always ask me that question.  Some of the notes were very raw with emotion.   Some were very thoughtful and look like that had been fourth and fifth drafts.  Unfortunately, the majority of them were angry and pointed out who had done them wrong and what was done to them.   It was very sad reading how many of them were aimed at an ex-partner, particularly someone going through a bitter divorce.  I have gone through a bitter divorce and I can attest that you go through a lot of feelings, although I never entertained the idea of leaving my children behind.    It is just sad though, tha

My partner may not be perfect but he is perfect for me.  We have grown into a wonderful mutually supportive relationship.  We both have many passions, some of which we share, but we are most passionate about each other.  I am proud of him for so many reasons.  He gives back to the world more than he takes and he loves my children and is completely in love with our grandson.  I am very proud of him. But, getting back to the "not perfect" part, he does do something that really bugs me.   When I point it out, he shrugs and says that it is a family trait and that everyone in his family does that so he is powerless to stop.  He says he doesn't like this trait either but it is out of his control.   I keep pointing out that it is just learned behavior which can be extinguished if he wants.  He says he does want to get rid of this trait, but I think in some way, he feels that he might be betraying his family if he gives up this trait.    I think part of it is that we have

Parents often think that their biggest job is to love their children.  That is incorrect.   Loving your child is a given and is easy.   The biggest job of a parent is to be a role model for that child.  Teach them how to live a good and ethical life by example. The same parallel is for leaders.  This applies is you are leading a small team of 3 or you are leader of the free world.  If you are a leader, lead by example.   Do not expect people under you to do something you are not prepared to do yourself.   I think fundamentally this is the problem that many of us have with Trump.  He sets a poor example.  He leads with fear and hypocrisy.  When a politician is elected after a contentious campaign, they almost always give a humbling speech.  In that speech, they indicate that they will be the leader of all people, even the ones that voted for a different person.  They indicate they will unite the people. Brian Pallister was elected Premier of Manitoba.   True disclosure.  I did

It happens in Hollywood, but it also happens to nobodies. I am saddened to say this was not the only time it happened, but it was the first for me.  I had a summer job in my early twenties.  There was about 5 other summer students in an office with about 10 other employees.  All female except for the boss.  He was about 60 years old at the time.  He used to make jokes all the time about his luck being in charge of a bunch of women.  For some reason, I was his favorite.  He let me leave early, come in late, take extra time on breaks, praised my work in front of the others.  It was kind of a great job, except my other colleagues resented me.   He also took me out for lunch about once a week.  He never took anyone else out for lunch.  This did not help my colleagues like me any more, but it did not bother me.   It was a summer job.  I did not need them to like me.  One day I was at my computer screen and I happened to be the only one in the office with him at the time.   He came and

Mindfulness is now the new buzz word that is supposed to increase happiness and limit distress.  Everyone seems to be doing it, reading about it, practicing it, learning about it, and even going on Mindfulness retreats.  From what I understand, Mindfulness allows you to free your mind of distracting thoughts, allowing yourself to be more present in the moment.  It frees your mind to fully experience enjoyment and to fully experience moments of stress allowing your mind to focus and then let go of this sooner.  It involves being fully mindful of your emotions without judgement.  That is what I understand, anyway.  Like I said, I do not really get it.  But, I think I did achieve this last weekend, in spite of myself.  I was running around doing errands when I realized I had not had my morning coffee.   That was no problem because I keep a number of completed McDonald coffee cards in my car.  However, the problem was the closest McDonalds to me was one that I only have had negative

Last night, the prestige auction house, Christies, sold that last privately owned painting of Leonardo DaVinci.  It was called The Savior of the World and sold for over $450 Million.  That is not a typo.  It was sold to an anonymous collector.  I really do not understand how someone could have that much disposable income and choose to buy a single painting.  Think of what a difference half a billion dollars would make in the world.  After I saw the painting, one question was answered for me.  I understand why the buyer decided to remain anonymous.  Admittedly, I am not an art expert, but, I know what I like.  This is not a good painting.  Somehow the phrase, The Emperor has no Clothes came to mind!  Apparently, I am not the only one who thinks this.  Apparently, most of the art world feels the painting is either a forgery or is not an authentic DaVinci.  Even if it is a DaVinci, certainly not Leonardo DaVinci.   Yet, someone spent close to half a billion dollars on this pain

I devote my blog to social justice.  I leave criminal justice to the legal system because I think they are better equipped to handle this, but, I still believe that an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.  This includes social justice.  I also truly believe the rallying cry of social justice crusaders.  No justice, no peace.  There is one place where social justice seems to get a pass and is a challenge to my personal ethics.  It is the poker table at my local casinos.  I feel obliged to clarify that this is not the case all the time.  In reality, the good poker players rely on their skills so they have no need to belittle others in a feeble attempt to improve their game.  My contribution to social justice at the poker table is to explain the feminist movement to those who appear to be living in a cave for their entire lives.  It is not uncommon for me to be the only woman at a poker table with 8 other men.  Even though, I am sitting right there and can clearly hea

About a year ago, I was betrayed by a friend.   (I think, well, I was almost positive.)  I was really hurt.  I didn`t expect this and it was a hard one to get over.  My first thought was to find a way to seek revenge.  This friend had hurt me badly and I didn`t think I would be able to get over it until I hurt him equally as bad so he knew what it felt like.  I actually have a lot of experience seeking revenge as I have been hurt more than once.  Much like, everyone on the planet.  However, seeking revenge has led to more problems in my life, so I know this revenge this never works out well for me.  I just let myself feel the feeling fully.  It just hurt.  I didn`t allow myself to judge my feelings.  I didn`t try to rationalize it.  I didn`t blame myself for what he did.  After all, we had a complicated relationship.  I realized every relationship is complicated.  So, I just hurt.  After a while, I forgave him.  Forgiveness wasn`t something I was doing for him.  It was gift to my

It seems like a lifetime ago, but it was something that was bothering me so I discussed it with my therapist who I had been seeing for over a year.  I began seeking therapy as part of my treatment of severe trauma.   You see there was this woman who I worked with a couple of decades ago.  We had lots in common and we shared the same friends.  Professionally, we seemed to really respect each other, however, our relationship was, frankly, respectful.  We were not friends.  We just never clicked.  Overall, she was more analytical and I was more emotional.  I wanted to be friends, but it just seemed to be something that was never going to happen, and we both seemed to be comfortable with that.   One night, I was working late at the office when my husband called to warn me.  He said this woman just came over looking for me and she seemed really angry and she was heading over to the office to find me.  First of all, I couldn`t imagine her angry because she didn`t express emotion and I

Canada has a thing called Statutory Holidays or Stats as they are commonly referred.  It seems funny just saying that.   A mandatory rest time.  Seems a little counterproductive.  I don`t agree that we should be given a work day off to commemorate Remembrance Day if it falls on a weekend.  I think Remembrance Day shouldn`t be trivialized by making it just another Stat.  However, one of the worst things about a Stat is finding something to watch on early morning television.  All I could find this morning was a re-run of Dragon`s Den.  I can`t believe my good fortune. There was a group of children on from Hope Blooms out of Halifax.   These particular pre-teens were identified as at risk kids.  There story is nothing more than extraordinary.   Their motto is when you change the way you look a things; the things you look at change.  I know most adults spend a lifetime trying to learn this lesson and these kids have mastered this. An inner-city Dietitian in Halfax was frustrated t

Today is Remembrance Day where we honour the memory of our Veterans, many of whom who gave their lives so that we would live in freedom.  My father was a Veteran of WW2.  I think all Veterans gave significant parts of their soul so that our lives would be rich.  Lest we forget.  Yet, today, I can`t help thinking of a visit to my son in Vancouver in September.  My son attends College and has a very cool studio apartment.  He loves it.  Of course, as a mother, I worry about him regardless.  I can see why he loves the apartment.  It is in a very cool Heritage building which has been converted into studio apartments.  It is quite trendy.  It has cool art everywhere.  It has a view of the water and the mountains.  It has communal washrooms and a communal shower.  It is approximately 200 square feet.   Like I said, as a college student, I can see how it loves it. His apartment is also just east of the poorest postal code in Canada.  Every day that I was there visiting we went on a new ad