Network Outage and Mental Health

 

So, Rogers experienced a nation wide outage last Friday which affected many businesses and essentially shut down interac transactions and did not allow for ATM withdrawal.  People were angry. Rogers has apologized and every customer has received an email apology from Rogers President.  I wasn't angry.  Stuff happens.  It is not a perfect world.  I don't think the outage was the result of malice.  Yes, it shows how vulnerable Canada is when we don't have good competition in our technology and communications industry.  

I wasn't angry.  It was something different for me.  

I have struggled with my mental health on and off since 2003.  2003-2006 were very dark years.  My mental health was largely stable from 2006-2017.  From 2017-2021, my mental health really fluctuated.  I seem to have gained control of my mental health in 2022 but it requires a lot of maintenance.  I have to monitor myself every day so that I don't fall to known triggers.  

So, it is nobody's fault, but when the network outage happened, my mental health really took a nose dive.  I went from zero to extreme paranoia in no time flat.  I started to have panic attacks and they increased in frequency, duration, and severity as the day went on.  The panic attacks were so debilitating that I was physically exhausted by the end of the day.  Three days later, I am still recovering.  As the day went on, my mental health just kept going downward.  I was in a state of excited delirium.  I would have called crisis lines for assistance, but, you know, no phone service.  By mid afternoon, I was shaking and could not stop.  I could not manage simple self-care tasks such as making sure I was hydrated.  

Three days later, I still feel like I am trying to regain my equilibrium and struggling to get my mental health back on track.  I still am having trouble with my thinking and trying to get focus.  

I am sure those living with mental illness can somewhat relate to what I was going through and am still struggling.  I wish I had not been so vulnerable but I was.  It was very difficult and it still remains such.  People might have been inconvenienced for a day.  I estimate it might take a week to recover.  I lost a lot of health that day.  It is hard to get back peace of mind.  

I appreciate the apology from Roger's President and again, I don't think it was anyone's fault.  I know the majority of people are pissed for the inconvenience.  I was a just a little poed.  It affected me much more than I think the Roger's President can really appreciate.  

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