Blog or white ... because it never is.

My partner has diabetes.  I have an anxiety disorder. I don't know how it is for everyone with an anxiety disorder, but this is how it feels for me.   Both of us received our medical diagnosis when we were adults.  His diagnosis was largely the result of poor lifestyle choices.  My diagnosis was the result of a crime being done where I was the victim. We both take medication to manage our diseases.  If he is out having a meal, he has no problem taking his medication in public.  When he gets his medication refills, the pharmacist is proud of him for taking good care of his health.  I feel I have to hide the fact that I take medication and don't tell anyone.  When I get a medication refill, the pharmacist looks at my medication then looks up and down at me making a judgment.   When he was diagnosed, his family gave him lots of encouragement and support.  They asked him lots of questions.  He went to classes for dia...

I love Monday mornings.  Every Monday, we are able to start anew.  Hope springs eternal !!!  Most people make a little resolution every Monday.   I am going to start my diet. I am going to save money by taking my lunch to work each day. I am going to get more steps in and not take any elevators. I am going to get into better shape. I am gong to the gym every day. I am going to menu plan. I am going to get up 15 minutes earlier. Monday is the day that we start the journey on our personal goals. This Monday, Barack Obama returns to USA and public life after a long vacation.  What are his goals today?  How is going to balance not criticizing a current sitting President when said President seems completely devoted to dismantling the legacy left behind? Bill O'Reilly starts his podcast today.  Please resolve not to listen.  He will be less inhibited by advertisers and station regulations, so it is going to be something.  Just what th...

So, this just happened...... My partner is physically ill today.  Believe me, there is a significant part of me that is not feeling any sympathy at all for him, but, that's another blog.  However, I am willing to go through the motions of being a caring spouse.  He wanted a McDonald's breakfast this afternoon and I felt obligated enough to get it for him. I entered out on my 15 minute quest. First, I had to make a quick stop at my ATM.  There was a time when going to an ATM was a quick impersonal experience.  A time to take a break from the pressure of having to make small talk with a teller.  Now, even going to an ATM is an experience.  The ATM now knows my name and thanks me for my visit and before I can withdraw a measly $20 of my own money, it has to engage in a conversation with me.  It has to tell me information.  Today, it told me that bank fees were changing on June 15.  Well, I know what that means.  I've had that con...

I don't usually like and share facebook posts. I do, however, always feel guilty that I don't.  I feel like I'm going to miss out on a huge windfall of cash, or that if I don't share, there will never be a cure to cancer,   Those kind of things.  But, somehow the world seems to go despite my not sharing. Today, there was one facebook post that gave me such complete and total joy that I could not help share.   It read: "When you're a bigger size woman, people like to say, "Yeah, she's cute in the face."  As if being full figured is such a disgrace.  Honey, I'm cute in the face and thick in the waist.  I look good whether I'm in cotton, leather, or lace.  I'm beautiful, vibrant, and above all, smart.  There is more to me than my weight, I also have a heart. Yes, my clothes may be a bigger size, that just means you have access to a bigger prize.  We are all not self-conscious about our weight.  So don't think you're small...

                                                                                                                                                                                                            This only happened once when I was growing up.  It was a Saturday morning after my dad's payday. The only reason that I knew that was my mother was crying and told me that.   My dad hadn't come home the night before.  My mom wasn't worried that he was with another wom...

An acquaintance of mine passed away unexpectedly.  I am shocked by her passing, but I am also glad that she is in a better place and she didn't suffer.  She never got over the heartbreak of losing her husband, so I am happy that can be together again. Since Hilda's passing was sudden, a lot of people have expressed their thoughts on her loss on a group facebook page.  One of the comments left me breathless.  A friend of mine commented that she will miss Hilda because she inspired her to live life to the fullest.  I had to read that comment five times to make sure that I was reading it correctly. It wasn't that I had a problem believing that Hilda could be inspiring.  She certainly was inspiring. I was thrilled to watch part of her evolution in the sunset of her life.  I watched her challenge herself out of her comfort zone and to evolve from an introverted serious lady into a self-confident gregarious leader.  She was inspiring. However, the...

I have had a lot of opportunity in my professional and personal life to see what happens behind closed doors.  Believe me, I have seen it all, but I have never been shocked.  Here is what I have found out.  There is no such thing as a closed door.  Everybody can see what is happening behind that closed door. I first came to terms with this when I was in Grade 5.  That was the year that when birthday parties changed.  No longer did you go over for a few hours on a Saturday.  Birthday parties became slumber parties.  I went to several birthday parties and had a great time.  Then, I was invited to a slumber birthday party that I didn't want to go to.  I didn't know why I didn't want to go, but I knew I definitely didn't want to go behind that closed door.  Sadly, I was right.  Both parents became very intoxicated and it was a scary night for those of us down in the basement pretending that nothing was happening upstairs. ...