Building Character
My son was born at 32 weeks following my labour being induced. He was 3 lbs and had some health problems and was placed in NICU. Only parents were allowed in NICU at that time. He was going to be there for a while, and although my health was in jeaopardy prior to delivery, once he was out of me, I was fine. Two of my dear friends, Joe and Jim, dropped whatever they were doing and drove two hours to visit me and baby. They couldn't see my angel yet, but we could go out for supper to celebrate.
You know how when you go out to a restaurant, such as The Olive Garden, part of the fun is the interaction you have with your serving personnel. Well, we actually went to The Oliver Garden and had no fun whatsoever with the waitress. I have never had such poor service. She was just simply rude. She never set our plates down, she just basically threw it at us. She did not smile once. I guess she was having a bad day, but maybe she should have called in sick, rather than bring down our celebration. Before she took our order, she asked if we wanted separate bill or was it all together. We said separate. Now, I fully intended to treat my friends, but I didn't want to tell them that. Since I was now going to pumping my milk, I could not consume alcohol, but I didn't want them to inhibit their use of spirits based on me treating. As it turned out, they drank pop anyway. We really had a horrible time and it was due to this waitress. We might have ordered dessert but we really didn't want to have any more interaction with her. She came by and threw the three bills on the table. At that point, I told my friends that it was treat and put my credit card on the table. She came back and said, "there is only one card here." I said that it was my card and I was paying for all three. She said in a mean tone, "I asked you at the beginning and you said separate." I said, "and now I am saying together." She rolled her eyes and went away with the bills and my credit card. She came back and threw the the bill and my credit card at me without saying anything. I went to sign the bill. She had only charged me for my meal.
So, there we were. Three friends with a dilemma. Do we bring the error to the attention of the server only to have her yell at us that she didn't make a mistake, or do I sign for one bill, and we get two meals for free. We talked it through. In the end, we thought the waitress should learn a lesson from her shabby treatment. I gave her a big tip in case she was required to pay for the other two meals and signed the credit card statement and we dined and dashed.
We high-tailed it out of that restaurant only to be stopped by 5 different Olive Garden employees. Each time, we all held our breathe, and each time, the person said, "I hope you enjoyed your visit at the Olive Garden. Come again!" We couldn't wait to get out of there. We were all shaking. I drove my friends to their car and then I drove back to NICU.
I have to admit, I was looking for my shoulder for about two months, expecting to be caught. I also noticed that I became distant from my friends Jim and Joe. I said it was because I had a new baby and our interests diverged. The truth was, we didn't want to talk about "the incident."
Time went on. I started to suffer. You see, several friends thought that the Olive Garden was the perfect location for a lunch during a shopping spree. Soup, salad, and breadsticks. I had to bow out. You see, I was convinced that my picture was hanging somehwere in the restaurant identifying me as a diner and dasher. I missed those breadsticks. I missed a lot of first dates who wanted to go to The Olive Garden. I missed a lot of fun times with friends. As a chain, the Olive Garden seemed to survive the devastating loss in revenue from the dining and dashing. The only one who was suffering was me. I was missing out on the Olive Garden. Worse than that, my kids were growing up, and they wanted to go try The Olive Garden. I couldn't take them.
Worse than missing out on the bread sticks, I was displaying poor character. I never told my children about this discretion but how could I be a role model of responsible behavior if I didn't make amends. There were many ways that I could have handled that situation two decades ago, and I chose the one that made a massive withdrawal from my character bank. I needed to build some character to make a deposit back.
I marched right in to that Olive Garden and spoke to the Manager. I explained what I had done 20 years ago and apologized profusely. I felt my character was restored. I was back to being a role model ! However, the Manager didn't agree. The waitress had likely had to pay for the two entrees herself and she was long gone from the restaurant. He explained that if I was really sincere, I would have to spend a full Saturday evening shift bussing tables. Of course, I wouldn't be entitled to share in any tips. Since I had no experience, I would have to come at 3:00 pm for training. The restaurant closed at 1:00 am and I would be responsible for staying after to participate in end of night cleaning.
Of course, I would do it. I would be building character!
Then, Saturday came and I was still enthusiastic. There I was, a middle-aged woman being trained by a 17 year old. It didn't matter. I was building character. And, then my shift officially started. It turns out the Olive Garden is quite busy on a Saturday night and bussing is hard work. You are basically on your feet all the time lifting rubber bins which have about 20 lbs of dishes in them.. And then, you have to scrape the plates into the garbage and prepare them for the dishwasher. And, all the time, people are yelling at you that another table was ready and needed to clean minutes ago. A dirty table can't generate revenue.
Of course, before my shift started, I made a mental list of who I would be horrified if they saw me bus tables. The list was about 12 people. Wouldn't you know it, all of them came in to eat at The Olive Garden that night. And when I saw them, I walked a little straighter. After all, I was building character.
Around 9 pm, I lost feeling in my feet but I kept going. I was making a huge deposit in my character bank. The manager couldn't believe that I was following through and said that I had more than repaid my debit and I would leave at about 10 pm. Are you kidding? I had a bigger debt that just those two entrees, I was making a deposit into my character bank.
I stayed to the bitter end. I crawled to my car because I felt like I ran a marathon, but I did it. I displayed character.
In the end, I didn't do it for my children, although being their role model is very important to me. I did it for myself. At the end of day, when you put your head on the pillow you only have to answer to yourself and your higher power. Are you able to justify your character to yourself. If not, it turns out, you still have an opportunity to make amends.
Now, I was able to join my friends for lunch at The Olive Garden, and have my first bread stick in over 20 years. It turns out they weren't as good as I remembered. Also, it is hard for anything to look appetizing after you have been scraping plates of those things for about 10 hours. So, I don't really go to The Olive Garden much, but at least I have the option.
And, it came at exactly the right time, because now I have a grandson. His name just happens to be Oliver. We call him Ollie. And, wouldn't you know it, the kids character that appears in their colouring books is named Ollie. Thank goodness, I made amends and can share the Ollie experience with my own Ollie.
You never know what is going to happen in life. But, wheatever turns come your way, it is nice to start that experience with a lot of character.
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