Does Anxiety Deserve Kindness?

I struggle with anxiety.  Several months ago, I blogged that my anxiety lies.   Well, human beings are in constant stage of evolution, and I feel I evolved a little today.

One of my friends told me that I was a very kind person.  Yet, my friend ventured, you are so judgmental and harsh to your anxiety.   Why can't you be kinder to your anxiety? 

This required a lot of reflection on my part.  As silly as it sounds, I had to have a conversation with my anxiety.  Of course, I had to listen more than I talked.   Once I was willing to listen, my anxiety told me something important.  My anxiety told me that fundamentally it didn't want to hurt me or to see me suffer.  My anxiety told me that its purpose in my life was to alert me to threats in my environment so that I could deal with these threats more effectively.  My anxiety also told me that it was actually over-protective of me, and that occasionally it alerts me to threats that don't actually exist.  My anxiety appealed to me for kindness.

This will result in a major shift in thinking on my part.  I always have thought of anxiety as being against me.  Now, I have to believe that my anxiety is trying to help me and has my best interest at heart.   This shift in thinking won't occur over night. 

But, in any relationship, compromise is key.   So, if I am going to change my thinking about anxiety, my anxiety also needs to trust me.  If it alerts me to a threat, and I determine none exists, I will be able to (kindly) tell my anxiety, "thanks for the warning, but I've got this one !"  Hopefully, my anxiety can trust me enough to go away until needed.

Relationships are complicated and are work.  Even relationships within ourselves.  Also, relationships need to grow and change over time and we have to let go of rigidity to allow the change. 

Happily, we all share this in common.  We all have the ability to grow and change.  This growth is the difference between simply living and living a life worth living.