Blog or white ... because it never is.

I have two "horsey" friends.  They have been passionate about all things horse since childhood.  One of my friends grew up on a farm and her passion was supported by her parents and she has been actively involved in horse things all of her life.  The second friend grew up in a small city but still had a passion for horses.  She started working at 10 years old, not to buy clothes, etc, but to purchase and stable her own horse.  Whenever the three of us were together, they talked non-stop about horses.  After listening to them for decades, I have picked up nothing.  I know nothing about horses.  However, I have gone riding three times in my life as a child.  One time, in a group setting, the horse I was on took off away from the group.  In my mind, the horse was galloping out of control and I was hanging on for dear life until the group leader galloped to my horse and was able to take control.  In reality, my horse probably took tw...

Today wraps up mental health day and I hope I can inspire people to keep the conversation going.  In this current social climate, I believe the best advice is to be kind.  It really is that simple.   Common sense which unfortunately is not common practice. It is also the last week day before Mother's Day.  I am going to celebrate my mom who I wish was still with us because she was so wise and impacted so many lives in addition to mine.  I love you forever, momma.  I wrote this entry almost a year ago and still bears repeating....... You can be anything !! April 09, 2017 In this world today, we are encouraged that we can be anything we want.  I always think of my mom when I hear this.  My mom had one of those magnetic personalities that everyone wanted to be around.  My mom always had lots of friends and she had the "soft skills" that are so highly in demand right now. To best understand my mom, you can look ...

Our mental health is so important to our lives. Two examples from two different people. First, my humble experience.  I am overweight and have been for a few years.  My doctor felt that I was at risk for diabetes and so she kept testing my blood and to her surprise, my A1C was right where it should be.  Then, my mental illness took over my life.  My A1C was in double digits.  10.9.  People told me not to take it personally, but of course, I took blame and felt shame that I allowed myself to get diabetes.  I was put on medication, I changed my diet, and started to add exercise to my life.  Three months later, I was hoping I would see some dramatic lab results.  Diabetes was not going to defeat me.  My A1C did go down so that was good.  But, still double digits 10.1.  So, I was still in the danger zone.  And, I added two more diagnoses to my portefolio.  I now had high cholesterol and high blood pressure.  I...

In 1939, the St. Louis left Germany carrying 907 Jewish passengers fleeing persecution from the Nazi Regime.  The ship was turned away from Cuba and then the United States.  They sought asylum in Canada where they were also refused to let them disembark.  The ship returned to Europe and about half were given asylum in various countries in Europe but 254 were killed in concentration and internment camps. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has stated that he intends to give an apology on behalf of Canadians for this uncomfortable truth in our history. Prime Minister Trudeau has been apologizing for many things despite that these things happened years ago and he had nothing to do with these things.    He discussed how different he is from his father in that regard.  He notes his father approached such things from purely academic lens where there was no benefit in apologizing for things that happened in the past. Trudeau feels that it is healthy for the cou...

It is Nursing Week, a time to reflect on the hard work that Nurses do everyday and to spend the week thanking them for that work.  Often when we see Nurses, it is not the best day of our life, and we are stressed and perhaps don't appreciate their work as much as we should.  I have been fortunate enough to work with some extraordinary Nurses.  I know they are not thanked enough for all that they do.  I do believe that I have met atleast 500 Nurses in my life.  That is quite a lot and if you are going to have a sample size of that amount, you can probably deduce that there are 1 or 2 bad apples.  Of course, that is just my opinion. However, a Nurse from Saskatchewan lost a very important battle yesterday and the implications are awful for all of us.   In essence, this Nurse lost her freedom of speech to raise questions about health care.  It is an extremely sad day in Canada, and on Nursing Week, no less.  Carolyn Strom is a young N...

My childhood probably sounds idyllic to many.  I had two parents who loved each other very much and they both loved me with all of their hearts.  I never lacked for anything because I was resourceful.  I remember one time my mother wouldn't buy me a doll that I desperately wanted because she said I had too much.  My mother said she saw the wheels during in my mind and then I said, "when are we going to visit Grandpa".  My parents had amazing senses of humour and our house was full of laughter but we never laughed at anyone, but with them.  I pulled more practical jokes by the time I was 5 than most people do in a lifetime. Despite all of this, I always had a negative feeling inside me that I could never name.  And, you have to name it to tame it.  It just recently dawned on me what that feeling was that I always had inside me.  That feeling that shaped my life was shame.  Yes, shame. You see, I grew up in a town that probably was...

I allude to my struggles with mental illness but I don't really address it as forthrightly as it deserves.  I guess even though I am the first to say that it is an illness much like diabetes, renal failure, etc., I guess I still put a stigma on it for myself.  Don't you dare dismiss anyone else's mental illness, because you will have a strong discussion on your hands, but I have always had a stigma when it comes to my own illness.  Weird but true.  I can advocate for anyone but myself.  I think it is because my mental illness has some positive aspects to my life.  For example, my depression protects me from difficult situations that may happen outside the four walls in which I mostly reside.  My anxiety has my back more than anyone in the world.  It alerts me to danger much before the danger can find me.  Also, I have made friends with my anxiety so sometimes I am able to say, "it's ok anxiety, I know you are there to protect me, but I've ...