Living Life in Absolutes

I have two "horsey" friends.  They have been passionate about all things horse since childhood.  One of my friends grew up on a farm and her passion was supported by her parents and she has been actively involved in horse things all of her life.  The second friend grew up in a small city but still had a passion for horses.  She started working at 10 years old, not to buy clothes, etc, but to purchase and stable her own horse.  Whenever the three of us were together, they talked non-stop about horses.  After listening to them for decades, I have picked up nothing.  I know nothing about horses.  However, I have gone riding three times in my life as a child.  One time, in a group setting, the horse I was on took off away from the group.  In my mind, the horse was galloping out of control and I was hanging on for dear life until the group leader galloped to my horse and was able to take control.  In reality, my horse probably took two steps to the right and the leader just pulled on a reign and the horse stopped.  The only thing I really remember was that I couldn't wait to get on the horse and that seemed easy.  Someone helped me step in a stirrup and then somehow I was on the horse.  Getting down from that horse was scary and I still don't know it was done.  I think I just leaned to one side and someone lifted me down.

For some reason, I was reminded of this on the weekend.

I spent some time with one of my friends, who just a few years ago, delivered a hilarious speech on why he would never own a cell phone.  I remember lol.  Guess what?  Never isn't a very long time because now everytime I see him, he has his cell phone attached to his belt.

Another friend of mine had a flip phone that he only used for emergencies.  Anyone who had a smart phone, he said, had a problem and he would never be a slave to technology.  And then, he inherited a cottage and rather than dragging his old desk top computer up there every weekend, he found that a smart phone fit in your pocket and required no set-up.  Not much longer after that, he was showing me all the cool things that could be done on a smart phone.  All the things that I had figured out 7 years ago, because....I have a smart phone.

This weekend I got an 8 paragragh text message from a friend of mine.  The text basically went on for paragraphs how he didn't believe in text messages because he found them to be a poor method of communication.

I used to work with a guy who told me that he deleted all my emails prior to reading because he would never communicate by email.  Oddly enough, whenever I was on vacation or away for some other reason, I would return to pages of emails.

The Ontario provincial election is coming soon and the three leaders are making promises not so much what they will do but they will never do.  It reminds of most politicians who seem to do what they pledged to never do.

I invited someone to my home on the weekend whom I had previously pledged that it would be a snowy day in hell before I would ever do so.

But, that is why there is a saying to "never say never".  Or "forever is a really long time".  Living life in absolutes is pretty limiting.  From my childhood experience, I can tell you that it is pretty easy to get up on that high horse.

Getting off that high horse is much more difficult.  Even if you have help, it is scary getting off.  It seems like you can be hurt a lot more and that "middle" ground seems a lot further than it actually is.  You have to have a lot of confidence that someone will catch you, and it never seems graceful.  It always looks awkward.

It is very similar to living your life in absolutes.  You are essentially up there on your high horse and it is pretty lonely.  Eventually, you have to come down.  And, it is awkward and you have to deal with someone like me, who has a circus memory, and will remind you that you said you would never leave your high horse.

You eventually realize that the wonderful thing about life is that it is not black and white.  There are shades of grey in every situation and it is much safer to live on terra firma.  In the last two elections, I voted for a party that I had previously said that I would drop dead before ever voting for them.  In Canada, there are three major political parties.  At my dinner table, all three were represented.  We had very spirited discussions and yet I still love my brother more than anything despite the fact that I detest his politics.  My high school bestie and I spent more than half our time together arguing abortion policy.  It never affected our friendship.  When you are up there on your high horse, you miss out on a lot happening on the ground.

Live your life celebrating the colours of the universe,.  Life is so much more beautiful when you don't live in the black and white.   Complicated, perhaps, but much more interesting and stimulating.