Love Letters and Why We Need Them......

I had the most wonderful surprise today.  A love letter and not just a love letter, but the ultimate love letter.  My love put a love letter for me to find in a place where I was sure to find it.  In a spot where I go to several times a day, and I found it.  

It was a complete and wonderful surprise and he knocked it out of the park.  Quite frankly, I love my guy more than anything, but, he is a bumbling idiot.  (It`s ok.  He knows.)  So, I really expected to be a little disappointed in the letter but it was wonderful, every word was meaningful and it reduced to me tears.  I`ve read it about 15 times already.   I can`t believe he wrote it, it is so perfect.  

Well, he had a confession to make.  He had help.  He went online and researched how to write a great love letter.  He showed me the five pages of tips that he found.  That made me even happier.  Remember when I said he was a bumbling idiot.  Well, one of the things that I have been trying to drill into his head is that if he doesn`t know something, he should ask.  Over the past few months, he has gotten himself into some considerable trouble with me for not having a clue what he was doing, but acting anyway.  This led to him making a lot of mistakes.  He would be frustrated because he was literally trying and I was not giving him credit for his efforts.  I was frustrated because it was hard for me to see him making so many mistakes.  I took it for him not caring enough.   He cares enough, well, he might care too much.  He just had a hard time admitting that he didn`t know things.  All I ask of him that he ask.  

After I convinced him that he needed to ask, he started asking me.  This doesn`t work well for me. He asks what I want to hear or what he should have done.  I tell him and then he does it or says it and I am still not happy.  I think because I told him to say something or do something, that it is not sincere. I need to work on that.   Life and love would be so much easier if he could just read my mind.  

One of the things I asked for was a love letter.  He told me to keep the faith that I would get one.  Yes, he tells me he loves me everyday, but, love letters are really important.  Love letters are tangible. They are something we can hold on to; something that we can refer to whenever we want; or whenever we need.  Every relationship is work and every relationship has a few bumps.  It is nice to have something tangible that you can read when things are tough.  Nobody is perfect.  We all get a little upset every now and then and we all say things that we may not mean when we are angry or frustrated.  Usually, human beings don`t like being in pain and mistakenly think if we can hurt someone else our pain be absolved.  Of course, it doesn`t work that way but we all live with that myth.  Sadly, we only seem to be able to hurt the ones we love.  So, it is sure nice to have a love letter to refer to that trumps all those other occasional words.  

Since my guy mastered this so well, it is only fair that I give him credit and use him as a role model for all those wanting to write the perfect love letter.   

A perfect love letter talks about past, present, and future.  

My letter talked about our first kiss and he said it was an electric spark for him like it had never experienced.  He talked about a specific date that changed his life.  I couldn`t believe he remembered the day because I really hadn`t.  He talked about our first trip together and remembered details that I had forgotten.  That told me how much he really how invested he is in the relationship.  I really never knew that.  

My letter talked about the present.  He talked about what he loves about me today and he talked about the little things he notices and loves about me. I never really knew that he noticed those things and I feel special and spoiled.  And, I have it in writing.  

My letter talked about the future and what are his hopes and dreams for us.  This tells me how committed he is to having me in his future.  It is nice to have a concrete reminder of this.  

Despite the fact that his writing is illegible, he hand-wrote this letter.  This is an important element in a love letter.  It is literally a gift of self and even if he actually wrote a couple of drafts, I would never know.  It looks spontaneously and looks like every words comes from the heart.  

A love letter doesn`t have to be written on a piece of paper.  It can be on the back of a menu that means something to the two of you; a piece of wallpaper; anything that could be significant.  

I`m pretty positive that we are going to grow old together, but, sometimes, things don`t work out. Another reason love letters are pretty important.  Having a stash of them to burn can be an important ritual for closure.  

I think I am like any woman.  You can tell me I`m special and you can tell me I`m beautiful a thousand times, but I likely will never tire of wanting to hear it.  It is pretty awesome to have this in writing !!  

Common sense for any relationship.  Send love letters and keep sending them. It will benefit you both. Love is one of those things that you truly get what you give.  The more love you give, the more it comes back to you. 

xoxoxoxoxo