Healing the Sores Within
When we were young, we likely fell down a lot. We played outside and when we played it was aggressive. We played tag like it was really important. Hide and seek as well. We climbed trees and even hide and seek was physical. We knocked each other down and then reached out a hand to help our friends get up. Our friends were up by the time we had reached out our hands because our bodies were resilient.
As we became young adults, it was a little bit more difficult to get up but we still did it. I remember once wearing an amazing pair of black boots with 3 inch heels. I was descending a staircase and there was some water on the top step. I went basically straight out and then landed on the bottom without touching a single stair. It hurt like anything but I bounced right up and denied I was hurt. There were tons of people there offering support and I was embarrassed. I remember going to the washroom and locking the stall and started crying, it really had hurt but I didn't want anyone to know.
Middle aged adults start falling a little bit more often. Last summer I was walking with my partner and stepped in a gopher hole and went down. I was stunned and it took a little while to process what had happened. My partner was there to help me up but I really didn't know how he could help. It turned out I had to do it myself and I basically had to roll over and then stand up in stages; knees, legs, torso and finally completely upright.
Many elderly start falling frequently. Even a fall that looks innocent may result in a skin tear as their skin is so thin and fragile. The treatment of this actually involves putting as much of the skin back as is available and then put a clear liquid bandage over top. It allows the skin to breathe. It allows the wound to heal in its own juices. It is messy. To some, it looks like it isn't even bandaged and it looks like neglect. But, magically a week or so later, the bandage is removed and the sore is healed.
I have actively working on healing the sores within my sole and can't help to see the parallels to exterior sores.
As children, we are getting our feelings hurt and experiencing difficult emotions but we barely notice this. We are too busy playing and experiencing our world. We are highly resilient and nothing seems to slow up down. My daughter was 4 when she had her best friend over to play. They both came to me in tears because they had a big fight and they were both crying. The friend wanted me to drive her home immediately and they were never going to talk to each other again. By the time I found my care keys, they had already hugged and made up and it was over.
As young adults, our resiliency is not as simple as it was when we were children. You have baggage from times you were hurt before and that weight slows you down. Just like me when I was hurt falling down a flight of stairs. I was embarrassed and took my physical pain as a product of my own action of slipping. There were people around who wanted to help but I dismissed them. The same thing that I did with my emotional sores. I locked myself in my bathroom and cried but I didn't want anyone to see that I was in pain.
When you are middle aged, the emotional sores are still within. But, like when I fell in a gopher hole, my partner was both unsupportive and supportive. He reminded me that I had been looking down, I might have avoided the fall. He blamed me for the pain. While it may have been a little accurate, it didn't help at that moment. He wanted to help but I didn't know how he could help and I wanted to do this on my own.
Now, I am working really hard on healing the sores within. I feel I have no choice anymore. My emotional sores are as visible as the elderly and their skin tears. I have emotional reactions to things that I don't want to have reactions to. I have so much baggage that I can't carry it anymore and need to resolve some so that I can put it down. Like the elderly need a Nurse to help heal their wounds, I also need a professional to help me heal my sores within. I also need time for these sores to breathe. I need to be alone with them and give them life in order for me to let them go. It is messy and to some it looks like nothing is happening and the wound is not getting attention. Messy and difficult to both the outsider and to the person who is trying to heal the sores within.
But, if you are willing to do this work, at the end, you remove the clear bandage. It doesn't hurt and you will know when it needs to come off. It is at the point where the bandage is completely dry and starts to come off by itself. If you have really done the work, the sore will be healed.
Unfortunately, most of us have more than one sore within and they will have to repeat the process many times. But, the good news is that now we will have one sore healed. That will give us the strength to trust the process.
As we became young adults, it was a little bit more difficult to get up but we still did it. I remember once wearing an amazing pair of black boots with 3 inch heels. I was descending a staircase and there was some water on the top step. I went basically straight out and then landed on the bottom without touching a single stair. It hurt like anything but I bounced right up and denied I was hurt. There were tons of people there offering support and I was embarrassed. I remember going to the washroom and locking the stall and started crying, it really had hurt but I didn't want anyone to know.
Middle aged adults start falling a little bit more often. Last summer I was walking with my partner and stepped in a gopher hole and went down. I was stunned and it took a little while to process what had happened. My partner was there to help me up but I really didn't know how he could help. It turned out I had to do it myself and I basically had to roll over and then stand up in stages; knees, legs, torso and finally completely upright.
Many elderly start falling frequently. Even a fall that looks innocent may result in a skin tear as their skin is so thin and fragile. The treatment of this actually involves putting as much of the skin back as is available and then put a clear liquid bandage over top. It allows the skin to breathe. It allows the wound to heal in its own juices. It is messy. To some, it looks like it isn't even bandaged and it looks like neglect. But, magically a week or so later, the bandage is removed and the sore is healed.
I have actively working on healing the sores within my sole and can't help to see the parallels to exterior sores.
As children, we are getting our feelings hurt and experiencing difficult emotions but we barely notice this. We are too busy playing and experiencing our world. We are highly resilient and nothing seems to slow up down. My daughter was 4 when she had her best friend over to play. They both came to me in tears because they had a big fight and they were both crying. The friend wanted me to drive her home immediately and they were never going to talk to each other again. By the time I found my care keys, they had already hugged and made up and it was over.
As young adults, our resiliency is not as simple as it was when we were children. You have baggage from times you were hurt before and that weight slows you down. Just like me when I was hurt falling down a flight of stairs. I was embarrassed and took my physical pain as a product of my own action of slipping. There were people around who wanted to help but I dismissed them. The same thing that I did with my emotional sores. I locked myself in my bathroom and cried but I didn't want anyone to see that I was in pain.
When you are middle aged, the emotional sores are still within. But, like when I fell in a gopher hole, my partner was both unsupportive and supportive. He reminded me that I had been looking down, I might have avoided the fall. He blamed me for the pain. While it may have been a little accurate, it didn't help at that moment. He wanted to help but I didn't know how he could help and I wanted to do this on my own.
Now, I am working really hard on healing the sores within. I feel I have no choice anymore. My emotional sores are as visible as the elderly and their skin tears. I have emotional reactions to things that I don't want to have reactions to. I have so much baggage that I can't carry it anymore and need to resolve some so that I can put it down. Like the elderly need a Nurse to help heal their wounds, I also need a professional to help me heal my sores within. I also need time for these sores to breathe. I need to be alone with them and give them life in order for me to let them go. It is messy and to some it looks like nothing is happening and the wound is not getting attention. Messy and difficult to both the outsider and to the person who is trying to heal the sores within.
But, if you are willing to do this work, at the end, you remove the clear bandage. It doesn't hurt and you will know when it needs to come off. It is at the point where the bandage is completely dry and starts to come off by itself. If you have really done the work, the sore will be healed.
Unfortunately, most of us have more than one sore within and they will have to repeat the process many times. But, the good news is that now we will have one sore healed. That will give us the strength to trust the process.
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