The Tipping Point

The last 36 hours have been interesting.  I got my hair cut and I couldn't be happier.  I was waaay overdue and a little desperate.  I went to a place I have never been before and was able to get in right away.  I had a great haircut and a great conversation with the stylist who shared her story with me.  I felt really privileged to hear her journey.  I tipped 36%.  My man and I went for a nice dinner out.  The server was a professional server, you know the kind that strives to get a $10 tip per diner.  He accomplished that because we gave him our first $20.20 tip of the decade.  I played some cards to celebrate the Year of the Rat.  It has been a long time since I did that and I was humbled by the reception I got from some dealers.  They were so genuinely happy to see me.  I do tip well, but, I don't think it was why they were happy to see me.  I think it is because in a world where you can choose to be anything, I try to choose to be kind.  Oh, yeah, something else happened.  I tipped poorly at a charity poker game. 

Tipping is always an interesting topic of conversation.  Seriously, gather three people and bring up the subject of tipping.  You will be talking for an hour.  I have one friend with unlimited resources who is a horrible tipper and she has her reasons.  I have another friend who starts a meal out thinking they will give a 5% tip and then goes up according to service.  I have another friend who likes to party but also is impatient and has learned about unintended consequences.  Her plan to get a safe ride home was also taxi services.  She would call all taxi services and would take the one that would arrive first and she would tip less than a dollar.  All taxi services now refuse to provide her service.  When you go on a cruise, you are required to tip up front and tips are shared.  I researched and found out that staff members are rewarded by the company when they are publicly thanked.  I always write extensive reviews and mention staff members by name. I have stood outside in the cold with poppies at Remembrance Day.  That is very illuminating.  I have been moved for tears at points and also watched a relative walk by and pretend she didn't see me.  Like I said, bring up the subject of tipping and you can talk for hours.  Everyone has stories, and there is seldom agreement on what and when is appropriate.  One thing everyone seems to agree on is that in order to increase your tips, you need to be kind and provide good service. 

Some other things happened as well.  But, as it often happens, seeds are sown earlier that the snapshot in time that you see.  A couple of months ago, I was playing cash and a guy came to my table bringing a huge stack.  I joked that I would like him to double me up once.  He could have smiled and said nothing but he chose to say that I would be the only person he would not want to double up.  He said he might have to quit poker and he wouldn't be able to sleep for days if he ever doubled me up.  I was hurt.  I mean I know I am not a very good player but his comment was just hurtful and didn't need to be said other than to be hurtful.  Well, he came to play cash yesterday.  When he arrived, I looked at him in a different light.  I wasn't looked at him as someone I admired, I was looking at him as someone who had hurt me.  It turned out he wasn't the young cool hipster that I thought he was.  He didn't look very attractive at all, and he was wearing the same Walmart two piece track suit that my father wore when he was 80.  (Yeah, that is a hurtful comment as well, but, that is what happens when you get hurt.)  Anyway, the unthinkable happened.  He doubled me up.  He took the rest of his chips and left.  And, probably has not slept since.  All because he verbalized a hurtful comment.  It is just so much easier to be nice. 

Another thing happened.  I was cyber-bullied for leaving a poor tip.  People think the internet gives you licence to say whatever you want.  I won't give you my personal reasons but I can tell you that the poor tip was deliberate and it was reasoned out.  If anyone is truly curious, I would be happy to explain in a private conversation.  But, if you have read the very long thread about this, I think you might have a clue as to some of the reasons. 

Regardless, I always go back to some of the lessons that my parents taught me.  Feel sorry for the bullies.  People who bully are likely ones who have been bullied and think that is acceptable.  Be nice to everyone because you never know who may be in a position to help you or hurt you.  Focus on your blessings.  More blessings will come.  It is the law of attraction.  If you focus on the negative, that is what you are going to attract.  My mother was never rich economically but she was always loved and cherished.  She always said, in a world where you can be anything, the most important thing is to be kind.