During this State of Emergency, my partner and I explored different nooks and crannies of Winnipeg. We found lots of cool places and took the road less traveled over and over. I remember one particular spot that there was a lot of interesting things to take in. I looked at my partner and he had knelt down and was touching the textures of the ground and was focused on such. I was standing up and instead of looking at this spot, I was scanning the area at all 360 degrees. I realized I was planning my escape route if something happened. I realized I constantly do this when I am in some place new. I always plan my escape route in case something goes wrong. I don't realize I am doing it, but I am always doing this. Something my male partner doesn't do. I don't know if I do this because I have been previously been a victim or if this is just something women do as a reflex reaction. If you look at the statistics of women and assault and the majority of us will experience violence at some point. The numbers seem to suggest that women probably do this as a reflex since the majority of us have been victimized during our lives. If you further look at the stats of the amount of women victimized and their perpetrator held accountable in the justice system, the numbers are extremely low. For this reason, most women don't have much faith in the justice system. Personally, I call it the injustice system. I have learned that I can't really depend on anyone but myself.
I talked to my partner about this. He was actually incredulous about this as he said it was something he never had done or thought to have done. I understand. He is a white male. The only demographic that has not faced some sort of systemic prejudice.
When he looks in a mirror, he sees himself in real time. When I look in a mirror, I see a woman who has been a victim. Then, I see myself in real time.
I realized I have no idea of what it is to look at yourself in the mirror and see a person of colour. I am both grateful and feel a little guilty. I can emphathize but I will never be able to understand.
Minneapolis is on fire this morning. I can try, but I can't really understand what it is like to be black in America. What I can see is the powerful emotions that are escalating. Peaceful people are taking to the streets because it is important for the world to see that this matters.
Will Smith said it best. Racism is not getting worse; it is getting filmed. The President referred to the protestors as "thugs". He referred to the white people with guns and swastikas storming legislatures as "good people". Not helpful.
Is there any solutions?
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