Defund/Reform the Police - Part 1

My mother was one of the proudest Civilian Members of the RCMP.  She felt it was her role off-duty to be a mother figure to all new (and old) recruits.  I got the opportunity to meet most of the members who came through the Parkland region.  Most were treasured friends of not only my mother's but of our family.  Many went on to have illustrious careers in the RCMP.  They were all special and I truly can not imagine any of them treating anyone badly.  

But, I grew up and began having my own adult experiences with police forces.  Decades ago, when I was a young Social Worker, I got an opportunity to attend training on Conducting Sexual Abuse Investigations Involving Children.  It was a week long course held at the police forces training headquarters and we stayed in barracks.  There were 4 Social Workers and 20 Police Officers.  The course was taught jointly by a Police Officer and a Social Worker.  Well, I'm sure that was how it was set-up to be, but the reality was that the Police Officer "taught" about 80% of it.  

Immediately, the 20 police officers and the police instructor bonded and started planning a fishing trip for Thursday night.  At breaks, lunch hours, and every evening, the 21 of them spent all the time together.  They went out every night.  Anytime one of them said something remotely funny, they all laughed uproariously. Anytime one of them said something remotely emotional, they all basically fought back tears.  Frankly, the two female officers weren't treated that respectfully within the group, but, they laughed at the subtle digs, deciding it was a small price to pay to be with the cool kids. 

We were divided into 4 groups of six for five days as there were many small group activities.  It worked out that there was one social worker and five police officers in each group.  Somehow, it worked out that all the social workers were the recorders of the small group exercises. In my group, I was referred to as the secretary.  We didn't do work in the small groups.  I quickly understood that I was to write down the answers and one of them would read them out when the main group reconvened.  It only bothered me the first day because there was this one officer who worked in Ottawa and he had some hilarious stories about working with the Quebec Police force.  

As a group, they would arrive late in the morning because they had been out the night before and that included the police instructor.  None of said anything because, to be honest, we all were secretly hoping that we would be invited on the fishing trip. 

We also ate together but only because we didn't want to eat alone.  We were essentially jealous of their blue comradery and how it developed instantly.  They had just met but were bonded just because they wore the same uniform. (Even though they were plain clothes.)  But, we got it.  They were trained that way.  They were trained to have a high level of self-confidence and they were trained on loyalty to the uniform.  They were also trained that no one understood what they went through so only share with a fellow blue brother. They would always have each other's back and that was just understood.  

We got it.  They never knew what was behind the next door they went into, so they had to be confident and decisive.  They were putting their lives on the line every day so they needed to be split second decisions and there was no way to unring a bell.  

Their world was very black and white and the social work world was very grey.  We tried not to take the exclusion personally, but, it was hard not to. Maybe I could understand why they didn't want to hang out with the others, but, I was adorable.  It didn't make sense.  

On the first time in our small group, we were asked to share any experiences we had with sexual investigations involving a child.  I was the only one who had and I had two heart-wrenching stories.  It appeared like no one was listening but I was sure they were.  When it came to our group, our spokesperson indicated that no one in the group had any experience.  Things like that happened the whole week.  Every time something happened like that, I have to confess that my positive feelings for police in general would fade slightly.  

But, I still had hope that I would be invited on the fishing trip.  I certainly did everything I could to brown my nose.  As we were adjourning on Thursday and everyone was gearing up for the fishing trip, the police instructor said he felt the tip should be inclusive. This was it.  We were going on the fishing trip, but, it turned out his meaning of inclusiveness was inviting the social worker instructor.  We still had hope that she would use this invitation as our ticket to join her, but, she said how honoured she was to go and off we went.  

I worked with the police on countless investigations.  Mostly, they were good and most were fine officers.  I never went on a fishing trip, but I did get the odd invite to go for a beer and was even invited to play on a baseball team (they were desperate).  I noted that even out of uniform, they had a need to talk about work all the time.  They had a need to have other affirm them to maintain their self-esteem.  I can't imagine the pressure that they feel.  

I know times have changed and the focus is much more on community partnerships. I feel for them in the current climate that so many are asking for reform and yet, they still have to go out and risk their lives.  I would never want the police to go away.  However, I think a shifting is needed for the community to take more responsibility for our safety and our freedoms.