Really Needing a Boost Today

You ever have one of those days?  You know when you need some positive sign from the universe?  Well, I wish I was having one of those days.  I seem to be having one of those lives !!  I know I have a lot to be grateful for, but when you have one of those days, you need to really search for something. 

I've been wallowing all morning.  It is my parent's wedding anniversary today and I think I am missing them something awful today.  I've just been searching for something to get me out of this funk.  Well, that isn't exactly true.  I haven't been searching that hard.  I've been content wallowing in my pity party.  I have wanted to keep that going.  Quite frankly, it takes less energy to wallow than it does to do something positive. 

Ok, here is where things get tricky.  For the past two weeks, I was looking for my favorite jeans.  I couldn't find them.  My sweetie tried to help this past weekend.  He found a pair of jeans in a drawer.  There was a reason I put them in a drawer.  There is no way that I could fit into these jeans.  And, they were not the jeans I was looking for.  I ended up finding my favorite jeans hung up under a pair of black pants.  Still, my sweetie left the other jeans on the dresser.  I didn't even have the energy to put them back.  No, that is not true either.  I wanted to see them, taunting me, reminding me how much weight I have gained, I left them there to continue to wallow. 

So, since I was feeling like a complete failure anyway, I thought I might as well keep going on this path.  I was going to try on these jeans that would never fit in a million years.  And, guess what, I did have to do the old adolescent trick of lying on the bed to do them up, but they fit !!!  I am wearing them !!  They are not flattering, so I'm not going to take a pictures, but, trust me, they are on !!!

I was so excited and even my perfect grandson was excited and danced around with me.  Then, I didn't know why I needed to look.  The boost I was looking for was there all the time.  My perfect grandson.  I know my parents would have given anything to hug him so I am going to do that for them. 

It is just common sense, but it is hard to remember when you are overwhelemed with heavy depression.  If you are looking for what is wrong, you can find it.  If you are looking for what is right, you can fiind that, too.  The only challenge is deciding what to look for. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One of my saddest days in Winnipeg

Image
I felt compelled to attend an information meeting of the Bruce Oake Recovery Centre.  Compelled because it will be, not in my neighbourhood, but in my City Ward.  Compelled after reading Bruce's story and his family's wish to make this recovery centre his legacy.  Compelled because of the opposition to this centre.  I wanted my voice to be a positive one. Since the land has already been rezoned, the BORC is going to happen and the meeting was to update the community on progress and get input on a few minor details.   I didn't realize that it would be one of the saddest days I have experienced in Winnipeg.   When I arrived, I experienced the "white people". They were people dressed in white who were there to oppose the Centre.  In order to get in to the community centre, I had to pass two "white people" who were at the door with placards in opposition.  It was intimidating.  They didn't deter anyone from entering but th...
Read more

There's Something from Jenny - Part 2

Image
I am trying to evolve as a blogger.  One of my friends told me that I needed to start adding my pictures to my blog so that people would know who they are communicating with.  So, good, bad, or ugly, I am adding my picture as much as I can.  It makes me feel vulnerable.  Not as vulnerable as I would feel if I was running for Mayor of a major Canadian city. I can't imagine how vulnerable I would feel, having every move and every word analyzed and taken out of context.  Perspective always defines your reality.  For example, I could tell you that I witnessed a murder by the Superstore last week.  That might bring up some powerful images in your mind.  Then, there would be those who know that a group of crows is called a murder.  That gives my previous statement have a whole different image in your mind.  So, when I spent an hour with Jenny Motkaluk that was my biggest impression.  She doesn't mind being vulnerable.  She just w...
Read more

Seriously? Opposition to BORC opening at old Vimy Arena Site

Image
I decided to go for a walk today.  It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  My quest was to understand the home owner's opposition to having the closed arena site being converted to a much needed addiction treatment facility.  I took some pictures on my phone and want to explain what I found out.  The first picture was taken while I was standing on the immense green space at the back of the old Vimy Arena.  You can see in the background what is the closest residential development.  It is a town house complex.  In order for someone who was participating in treatment at BORC to interact with someone living in the complex, they would have to walk and then cross a creek, and then get through the trees.  I would think the residents living in that complex would be more worried about the drainage pipe that leads on the creek.  I would be concerned about a wandering child being trapped in there.  The second pic...
Read more