Why I Can't Forgive Justin Trudeau

I have thought and thought about Justin Trudeau.  I have read a lot and I have listened to those who have forgiven him. Everyone has made mistakes in their life.  Without a doubt.  I make double digits everyday.  Last year, when the feminist in chief had an old groping allegation surface, I thought about that and then dismissed it as youthful indiscretion.  When one of my favorite Ministers, Jody Wilson--Raybould was expelled from caucus, I thought about that one as well and then decided to forgive him for that based on intent.  The brown/black face issue has been a troubling one for me.  I have gone back and forth on this one.  He did sincerely apologize and accepted full responsibility.  Other people I respect are still standing by him.  I kept thinking and then this afternoon, I had a moment of clarity.  I can't forgive him. 

The reason I can't forgive him is because of my son.  My son is one of the greatest men I know.  He is now 26 years old and living his best life in Vancouver.  I am so proud of him. 

He was born 8 weeks premature and weighing 3 lbs.  He spent his first month in NICU and his first year was very difficult.  It was one thing after another medical wise.  He had a difficult time growing and he was only a little over 10 lbs on his first birthday.  Then, he started thriving but he had a lot to catch up on. 

We lived in Ontario where they had two years of Kindergarten.  At four years old, he started going on the school bus to attend Junior Kindergarten.  From his very first day, he came home talking about Courtney Answera.  His new friend.  Every day, it was all about Courtney Answera.  It wasn't until the first Parent's night that I discovered that he had friended twins, Courtney and Sara.  And, I knew their parents.  They had heard as much about Gerry as I heard about the girls.  As parents, we nurtured this friendship and arranged play dates a couple of times a week.  Those three were thick as thieves.  During the spring, they were playing at our house when Courtney and Sara started arguing about who Gerry liked more.  (I knew)  Gerry intervened and told them what he liked about each of them and also told him that he liked them equally.  When we were driving home after dropping the girls off at home, Gerry told me that he liked Sara as a friend but he liked Courtney as a girlfriend but he didn't want to tell them that because he didn't want to hurt Sara's feelings. 

My son was still four years old.  Four years old and he was already concerned about hurting someone's feelings.  What an amazing emotional maturity and I was so proud of his compassion, respect, and empathy.  Four years old, and there is an argument to make that he was only 3 and he already had a strong moral compass. 

The next year, when he was five, he went to Senior Kindergarten.  The three friends were still as thick as thieves.  One day, we were all walking to the park when I noticed that Gerry and Courtney were holding hands.  I asked my son later how that happened and wasn't Sara hurt?/  My son replied that the three of them sat down and discussed the issue.  They all agreed that they would always be friends but Sara said he was happy for Gerry and Courtney because they obviously belonged together.  Three five year olds sitting down and discussing a complicated relationship and how they were going to navigate their way through this, and they all agreed.  This was in 1998.  Three years before a 29 year old Justin Trudeau went to the Aladdin themed gala. 

My son knew how his behavior affected others at four years old and strived to be respectful and kind. 

One of my most favorite memories occurred when the trio were in Grade 2.  Still best of friends only know playdates had turned into sleep-overs.  (I always told my son that he was living most men's fantasy; sleeping with twins.)  When they were at my place, they slept in the family room and were joined by my three year old daughter.  There were tons of blankets and pillows that had been used as a fort and now were on the floor while the four of them slept.  My daughter was the smallest but took up the most room.  I got up really early and was sitting on the couch watching them sleep with my cup of coffee.  At one point, Courtney raised her head.  I thought I had woken her but she just looked around and saw that Gerry was lying next to her and she just snuggled against him.  He didn't wake up but put his arm around her.  She had the most contented smile on her face.  Some people live their whole lives without a moment of pure happiness and she had that moment.  It was beautiful. 

Respect.  Compassion.  Empathy.  My son had this at age 4.  He still has this.  How is it possible that Justin Trudeau didn't know this at 29? 

If he wasn't the leader of his party and just a regular PM, he might be asked to withdraw his candidacy.  Justin Trudeau has done a very good job and I think he should still be allowed to be a candidate in her own riding but should resign as Leader of the Liberal Party.  Chrystia Freeland would make a remarkable leader. 

One more thing about my son.  He is on the spectrum.  So, I also can recognize intolerance and lack of compassion when I see it.  A couple of years ago, a person who should know better demonstrated this intolerance and lack of compassion.  It didn't bother my son because he is a much better person than I am.  It hurt me to the core.  What is even more bizarre is that another small group of people still maintain that it didn't happen.  Again, I know what offensive behavior feels like and their defense has been equally offensive. 

My son is the bravest man I know and has had many challenges.  He likely can forgive Justin, but, I can't on this one.