On-line Dating


I can't believe what I just heard happen in Winnipeg.  A man, age undisclosed at this point, met a woman online and decided it was time for a meet.  He went to her home to pick her up and there he was attacked by three people.   Not only was he severely beaten, but he was stabbed multiple times.

This was streamed live on facebook.  Someone watching the live feed called the police.  The police attended immediately and the victim was taken to hospital in critical condition.  He since has been upgraded to stable.  

The attackers face multiple charges.  This gang of three includes a 44 year old female; a 19 year old female; and an 18 year old male.  We call all read through these lines.  This is such an extreme tragedy.

My jaw is still dropped.  Is this what our society has come to?  In the initial news coverage of this story, the reporter reminded that police of all agencies caution that on-line dating can be very dangerous, and this is not the first incident of physical violence.  They also had a statistic that on-line dating can be a con game and romance seekers were bilked of over $14M last year.  

I hardly know anyone who is single who has not experimented with on-line dating.  I have one friend who will be celebrating her fifth year of wedded bliss and they are absolutely perfect for each other.  I don't think I would be alive if it wasn't for on-line dating.  I was going through a very dark period in my life and wasn't leaving my house or interacting with anyone.  I wasn't suicidal, but I'm sure that would have been my end if I continued as I was going.  Then, somehow, I ended up in a chat room on an on-line site.  I was "welcomed" immediately.  We had a lot of laughs, my first laughter in a while.  I was complimented on my humour, my looks, my intelligence; and my personality.  These people, although I only met one in person, became my support group.  They shut down the chat room a long time ago, but I am still friends with many on social media.  And, I went on many dates.  Some second and third dates.  It got me out of the house, gave me a reason to put on make-up and get dressed up, and put me out there in social situations. It put me on the road to repairing my self-esteem.  I never had a bad experience, other than most men were shorter than they said on their profile !!

I did other things to repair my emotional health, of course, but I never would have gone on that path without on-line dating starting my journey.  Once I felt I had recovered, I removed myself from on-line dating.   I was comfortable enough with myself that I could imagine my life without a partner.   Then, I started declining invitations for dates from people I met.  I was really comfortable with my life and didn't want the complication of a relationship.   Then, a man, who I thought needed a boost to his self-esteem, asked me out by email.  At our first date, I was very convinced that he needed a boost to his self-esteem so I accepted a second date and so on.  Now, almost 7 years later, I am convinced he has more self-esteem that he needs, so I stopped dating him in January.   At that point, I became his fiancee.  

Now, the vulnerable are being seriously hurt by unscrupulous people preying on their hopeful journey for love.  No wonder our society can't trust.  No wonder we think all politicians lie.  No wonder we are so cynical.  It seems to be that now society is in that same dark place where I was, and unfortunately, on-line dating is not there to provide a safe repair of self-esteem.

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