Office Politics
December 17, 2012 was the date of the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. A few days later, the world was urged to have a moment of silence in support of the victims at a particular time.
At that time, I went on the public address system at my workplace urging a moment of silence to commemorate the lives of 20 small angels and 6 bigger angels. That was early in the morning before my boss arrived.
A few hours later, my boss called me into her office. In her office was a colleague who didn't like me. I don't know why she didn't like me, but she sure didn't. This woman went to great lengths to make my work life miserable.
And there she sat, in our boss's office, crying. What had I done now? Not that her crying was any indication that I had done something wrong. She cried regularly. Anything that happened, she brought out the water works. I was actually a little bit jealous. Regardless, I was back tracing in my mind trying to think what I did now.
My sobbing colleague told me between kleenexes. When I had called for the moment of silence, I had just mentioned the 20 children and I didn't mention the 6 adults that had lost their lives. She knew about one of the adults who she identified with and couldn't believe my insensitive slight.
I said that I specifically had mentioned the 20 small angels and the 6 bigger angels. I couldn't believe I was called into my boss's office over doing something positive. I couldn't believe that she using this tragedy to play office politics. This was a new low.
My boss wanted me to apologize. I wasn't going to apologize for not mentioning the fallen adults because I had actually mentioned them.
So, I mentioned the two people who would stand by me no matter what as people who heard me mention the adults. She mentioned the two people who would stand by her not matter what who had not heard my mention the adults. The four were interviewed and it was a draw.
My boss tried to interview others that had heard my announcement. Basically, everyone in the builing knew of our dislike of each other and didn't want to get involved. Nobody heard nothing.
At the end of the day, my colleague and I were called back into the office. We both gave our side of the story. In the end, I was able to give details of all 6 adult victims and she was only able to give information about 1 of the victims. In this case, I had more credibility on this issue so my boss didn't think that I would forget the adults. My colleague burst into tears and left unsatisfied.
Almost 6 years later, I still can't believe she was trying to get me into trouble over this. Who would use a tragedy as an opportunity for office politics. I can't believe my boss, in addition to the two of us, spent a whole day looking into this. What a waste of money. \In the end, it didn't solve anything as my and my colleague still didn't like each other at the end. I kept doing things, she kept crying and accusing me of wrong-doing. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Almost 6 years later, I have realized something else. I was also playing office politics. I wasn't announcing the moment of silence out of altruism. I actually was trying to impress others that I am a news junkie and that I am thoughtful. If I wanted to have a moment of silence, I should have done so privately. I knew this other woman would find fault with whatever I would do. It would have made for a much healthier workplace if I had chosen to let my work speak for itself. The truth is that she made me feel insecure so I was always trying to grab the spotlight to camouflage this insecurity.
My father used to tell me that if you work speaks for itself, let it. The truth is that I was a good worker but I kept doing "above and beyond" to try and enhance my perceived worth. In an effort to put the spotlight on myself, I actually detracted from my good work. It was counter-productive.
My mother used to tell me that not everyone will like you and that is their problem and not yours. The turth is that I didn't know why this woman didn't like me. After all, I am adorable. But, because she didn't like me, she was in my head. I kept trying to do things to show her how likable I was. You can't make someone like you. She was in my head and the more I tried to make her like me, the more I ignited her passion against me. I would have been much better off by just ignoring her.
Princess Diana said that you should do good deeds in private without any expectation of something back confident in knowing that someday someone will do good deeds back. Yes, I thought I was doing a good deed with the moment of silence, however, I was expecting something back. I expected people to praise me for this and I expected people to be wowed by my attention to world affairs.
Also, to be honest, I also wanted everyone to realize what a drama queen this colleague was. I knew that almost anything I did would reduce her to tears. She cried all the time. She had inappropriate highly emotional responses to the silliest of things. When she wasn't crying, she was expressing anger inappropriately. As it turned out, everyone could see it, so I didn't have to do anything to highlight her emotional response, she did that all on her own. I should have trusted that the people who matter can see the truth.
Common sense tells you that it takes two to tango. This is also true in office politics. I had kept representing myself as the innocent victim to this office bully. Being honest, I knew exactly what I was doing and what was going to happen next.
Everyone professes to hate office politics. It would be easier for everyone if we just came to work, did our job, and went home and at the end of the day. Unfortunately, when you have two or more people interacting together, there will be politics. It just a fact of human nature. Instead of saying you don't participate in office politics, truly examine your behavior. You may be playing office politics more than you are willing to admit.
You won't be able to avoid office politics. Stop putting energy into that. Instead, look at your role in office politics and put your energy into making things better. Be the positive difference that you want to see.
At that time, I went on the public address system at my workplace urging a moment of silence to commemorate the lives of 20 small angels and 6 bigger angels. That was early in the morning before my boss arrived.
A few hours later, my boss called me into her office. In her office was a colleague who didn't like me. I don't know why she didn't like me, but she sure didn't. This woman went to great lengths to make my work life miserable.
And there she sat, in our boss's office, crying. What had I done now? Not that her crying was any indication that I had done something wrong. She cried regularly. Anything that happened, she brought out the water works. I was actually a little bit jealous. Regardless, I was back tracing in my mind trying to think what I did now.
My sobbing colleague told me between kleenexes. When I had called for the moment of silence, I had just mentioned the 20 children and I didn't mention the 6 adults that had lost their lives. She knew about one of the adults who she identified with and couldn't believe my insensitive slight.
I said that I specifically had mentioned the 20 small angels and the 6 bigger angels. I couldn't believe I was called into my boss's office over doing something positive. I couldn't believe that she using this tragedy to play office politics. This was a new low.
My boss wanted me to apologize. I wasn't going to apologize for not mentioning the fallen adults because I had actually mentioned them.
So, I mentioned the two people who would stand by me no matter what as people who heard me mention the adults. She mentioned the two people who would stand by her not matter what who had not heard my mention the adults. The four were interviewed and it was a draw.
My boss tried to interview others that had heard my announcement. Basically, everyone in the builing knew of our dislike of each other and didn't want to get involved. Nobody heard nothing.
At the end of the day, my colleague and I were called back into the office. We both gave our side of the story. In the end, I was able to give details of all 6 adult victims and she was only able to give information about 1 of the victims. In this case, I had more credibility on this issue so my boss didn't think that I would forget the adults. My colleague burst into tears and left unsatisfied.
Almost 6 years later, I still can't believe she was trying to get me into trouble over this. Who would use a tragedy as an opportunity for office politics. I can't believe my boss, in addition to the two of us, spent a whole day looking into this. What a waste of money. \In the end, it didn't solve anything as my and my colleague still didn't like each other at the end. I kept doing things, she kept crying and accusing me of wrong-doing. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Almost 6 years later, I have realized something else. I was also playing office politics. I wasn't announcing the moment of silence out of altruism. I actually was trying to impress others that I am a news junkie and that I am thoughtful. If I wanted to have a moment of silence, I should have done so privately. I knew this other woman would find fault with whatever I would do. It would have made for a much healthier workplace if I had chosen to let my work speak for itself. The truth is that she made me feel insecure so I was always trying to grab the spotlight to camouflage this insecurity.
My father used to tell me that if you work speaks for itself, let it. The truth is that I was a good worker but I kept doing "above and beyond" to try and enhance my perceived worth. In an effort to put the spotlight on myself, I actually detracted from my good work. It was counter-productive.
My mother used to tell me that not everyone will like you and that is their problem and not yours. The turth is that I didn't know why this woman didn't like me. After all, I am adorable. But, because she didn't like me, she was in my head. I kept trying to do things to show her how likable I was. You can't make someone like you. She was in my head and the more I tried to make her like me, the more I ignited her passion against me. I would have been much better off by just ignoring her.
Princess Diana said that you should do good deeds in private without any expectation of something back confident in knowing that someday someone will do good deeds back. Yes, I thought I was doing a good deed with the moment of silence, however, I was expecting something back. I expected people to praise me for this and I expected people to be wowed by my attention to world affairs.
Also, to be honest, I also wanted everyone to realize what a drama queen this colleague was. I knew that almost anything I did would reduce her to tears. She cried all the time. She had inappropriate highly emotional responses to the silliest of things. When she wasn't crying, she was expressing anger inappropriately. As it turned out, everyone could see it, so I didn't have to do anything to highlight her emotional response, she did that all on her own. I should have trusted that the people who matter can see the truth.
Common sense tells you that it takes two to tango. This is also true in office politics. I had kept representing myself as the innocent victim to this office bully. Being honest, I knew exactly what I was doing and what was going to happen next.
Everyone professes to hate office politics. It would be easier for everyone if we just came to work, did our job, and went home and at the end of the day. Unfortunately, when you have two or more people interacting together, there will be politics. It just a fact of human nature. Instead of saying you don't participate in office politics, truly examine your behavior. You may be playing office politics more than you are willing to admit.
You won't be able to avoid office politics. Stop putting energy into that. Instead, look at your role in office politics and put your energy into making things better. Be the positive difference that you want to see.
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