Ethics Everywhere

I haven't been blogging as much lately because:I have been focusing on interviewing and writing my book.  Manitoba will celebrate 150 years of entering Confederation in 2020 and I want to introduce the world to 366 ExtraOrdinary Manitobans.  It is an ambitious project and I have started late but I am working hard to make this happen.  I am finding that everyone that I approach has a powerful story that is impossible to condense into a page.  That is one of the ethical dilemmas that I am facing.  How to do justice to the spirit of Manitoba.  That ethical dilemma is easy to resolve.  I have said that my theme for 2019 is scattering seeds.  Scattering seeds and being open to what grows.  I'm hoping my vignettes of personalities inspire people to just talk to each other.  Talk and learn.  If we just talked and listened to one another, I am sure we would have a better world.  

Other ethical dilemmas have not been as easy to resolve.  Many of the people I have talked to have experienced great strife in their lives and their efforts to get to the other side have been extraordinary, but most are so much more than the strife they have experienced.  

On Saturday, I met a woman whose zest for life was magnetic.  I had to talk to her.  When I started talking to her, I almost put my pen down.  From her first words, I knew I was going to lose sleep on this one.  As someone with chronic insomnia, I wasn't so worried about that as I knew I would have to do a lot of thinking about her story.  First of all, her story is remarkable, as has been the case of everyone that I have interviewed.  The depth of lived experiences in Manitoba has been daunting and contributes to what makes our province great.  It is so hard to do justice to anyone's journey.  

This woman's story raised issues because her story contained some sensitive information that she has not shared with her children yet.  She is going to when they have the maturity and support to understand.  So, how could I tell her story while respecting her wishes to protect her children.  It was an ethical dilemma.  On one hand, telling her story could help others.  On the other hand, I understand mother's needing to protect their babies.  

It has been my experience that children know more than we think they do.  Children are remarkably perceptive.  We live in a global village where there is unlimited access to information.  And, children spend a lot of time with other children.  

My son was 4 years old and in Junior Kindergarten when he told me that the difference between him and his toddler sister was that he had a penis and she had a vagina.  I don't think that this was part of the curriculum in JK but it is possible that they were learning the proper names for body parts.  But, I think he learned this on the playground.  About a year later, he told his sister that babies are made when a dad puts his penis in a woman's vagina.  Neither one of them was mature enough at that time to discuss this further.  

So, after thinking for a long time, how I was going to profile this ExtraOrdinary Manitoban, I decided to just give it a go.  It was difficult.  I sent a draft to her.  I could tell that she did't like it, for the same reasons that I didn't like writing it.  It was a story that needs to be shared but it was not her story alone and telling the story would affect others, particularly her children.  This was an ethical dilemma.  

So, we talked about it.  (Not face to face, of course.  People don't do that anymore.  We texted.)  But, we talked and both of us were motivated to find a way that would work.  In the end, I think we came up with a great resolution.  She will be in my book until December 2 and I can't wait for you to get to know her better.  

What I find is that ethical dilemmas occur everywhere and everyday.  You know when you have a little feeling of "yuck" that you are experiencing an ethical dilemma.  Don't pretend that feeling doesn't exist and try to stuff it down with some emotional eating or use of a substance.  When you don't address that feeling of "yuck", you won't have a lot of room to stuff it down.  You will start feeling moral distress.  

We may not be able to resolve all of our ethical dilemmas, but we have hope as long as we keep talking and listening.