The Last Bastion of Misogyny - Part 74

I know.  I get it.  I'm always ranting about sexism in poker.  I know it is tiring.  Guys just want to go have fun, have some laughs, let off some steam, and here is this ultra-feminist giving them a sociology lesson.  Even the women are tired of me.  They want me to stop calling people out on their prejudice behaviors.  They think the more sexist the player, the better it is for women because we will be underestimated.  Believe me, I do want to stop. But, there are guys out there who are just bad people.  I know there is also women players who are also bad people.  I know we have cracked the glass ceiling on that one.  I really don't feel I am ranting as letting our allies know what we have to deal with and to hopefully inspire them to lend a hand when they are able.

Take, for example, "the asshole".  Seriously, take him.  I don't know his name and I don't care to. I first met him last New Year's Eve.  He bought in for $100 at a 1/2 cash table to kill a couple of hours waiting for a friend.  After sitting next to him for five minutes, the most shocking thing was that he had a friend.  He basically played his blinds for the next few hours.  Despite sitting next to me, he talked to everyone at the table except me.  I wasn't upset by that.  He laughed at everyone else's jokes except mine.  I am hilarious so this upset me.  Everyone else at the table was a regular so we all knew each other well.  I was the only woman.  We were all having a good time and the rest of the table was talking to me and they didn't notice this guy was excluding me.  As he wasn't doing well, he claimed that he was really a tournament player and not cash.  He said he played all the tournaments.  As someone who actually played all the tournaments, I tried to clarify his discrepancy.  He pretended he didn't hear me. When he was blinded out, he left.  He came back a couple of hours later.  At that time, I had a really nice stack.  He admonished the men at the table for letting "her" get a stack.  Seriously, what an ass.

Then, I didn't see him for several months.  .I saw him the week after my two good friends decided they were no longer going to run the charity tournament that they ran every Friday and Saturday for the last ten years.  I know that people like to gossip so I was ready to hear it.  And, after not seeing him for months, "the asshole" sits down.  The gossip starts.  I correct the falsehoods and tell the table that I am good friends with the girls.  This guy continues on as if he didn't hear me and starts spouting off garbage.  I don't let him ignore me and I continue to correct his lies.  He is annoying, like a fly on your windshield that you just can't wait to put on your wipers and crush the sucker.  After arguing with him for a bit, I indicate that I wonder if there is a clue why they quit in this conversation.  Seriously, playing poker is not a fundamental right afforded to us in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

I am frankly sick of people, both men and women, who disrespect the people or corporations runninng the games or the people that are employed by them.  Another woman suggested men playing poker don't treat women playing poker well because they have been conditioned to play men.  I have come to realize that it is both men and women who behave badly, however, I notice it more from men simply because there are more men playing the game. 

Anyway, the next week, "the asshole" returns.  He is not sitting at my table but I can hear him.  He is talking smack about my girls.  Most people have figured out his bullshit but he has gotten an audience of one young man.  He then attributes a statement to one of my friends.  When you have friends, you get used to how they talk and how they put words together.  I listened to this statement and realized my friend would never say that particular statement.  It would be like me saying, "no thanks, I don't want any more perogies."  I mean those words would never come out of my mouth.  The next week, "the asshole" attributes the exact quote again to my friend.  I found that my blood was boiling.  When he got knocked out, I quietly followed him and whispered into his ear, "look, you asshole, I am tired of listening to your lies, and you slander my friend again, and I will take you outside."  The look of fear in this "asshole" who towered over me was incredible.  He knew I could take him, and probably with one hand tied behind my back. 

I should be embarrassed by this, but, I actually felt empowered.  I grew a pair and took a stand.  Suddenly, I had an appreciation for the last bastion of misogyny. 

Then, I gave my head a shake.  I remember the times that I have not been happy with the way a poker room was run.  I have found that talking to management in a calm respectful way with legitimate concerns have gone a long way.  Poker room managers actually want the game to grow and they know they have a better chance of growing their game with all players being respectful to each other and to staff.  Just because you want to take a person's money doesn't mean that you can't be respectful. 

Last week, a few friends and I got together to play some cards.  We planned to play for 6 hours and we ended up playing for 7.  I was the only girl yet all of us were crying.  We were all crying because we were laughing so hard.  If all poker experiences were like that, well, then, I would never have anything to blog about !!  There is no reason to be vile and rude to anyone. 

Just, be kind.  It is that simple. 

Although, I have to be honest.  I am looking forward to seeing what happens this week.......