Yeah.....It's my birthday

It's my birthday and I hate it.  I feel bad hating it.  I am thankful, I am grateful, and I am blessed.  Most people that say they hate their birthday secretly don't and say it as a cry for attention.  I had a co-worker who couldn't believe I hated my birthday because I was such a narcissist.  Really, I don't understand it myself.  I do love attention and love being the centre of attention, but, always hate my birthday.  When I have worked at places where they go out for lunch on people's birthdays, I always take that day off.

My first party was when I was in Grade 2. When my mom brought in the cake and people starting singing, I hid under the dining room table and started crying.  My mom and friends tried and then my mom said to leave me alone.  My guests ate the cake, they each opened the present that they bought me, and played some games, and I stayed under the table until everyone was gone.  I used to beg my mom not to throw me a birthday party.  She said she had to or else everyone else would think she was a horrible mom. 

I have always liked going to other people's birthday parties, just not mine.  My loving partner has wanted to have a celebration of my birthday and I always refuse.  I don't even let me wish me a happy birthday on facebook.  Yes, I am weird.  I often have to ask him how old I am.  He is such a romantic and wants to do romantic things for me and I am just a wet blanket. 

If it wasn't for social media, people wouldn't know when my birthday was and that would be great.  Although I don't like it, it is incredibly humbling that people take time out of their day to send me nice thoughts. 

Ironically, even though I hate my birthday, I still don't understand how no one in my partner's family has ever inquired when my birthday is.  Again, I wouldn't want a celebration or even a gift, but, I have always found it weird that they care so little as to inquire if I was ever born.  I assume they think I was hatched. 

There are other things that bother me in life, but overall, my life is pretty good.  I am truly blessed that my biggest complaint is a day on the calendar which signifies that I have survived another year. 

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