Good Trouble, Necessary Trouble
That is not why his loss hit me really hard, though. He reminded me so much of my Ukrainian grandfather. Like John Lewis, John Repski was not blessed with an abundance of height. And like John Lewis, my grandpa John Repski shrunk with age. My grandpa also lived history and fled his beloved "old country" not out of choice but because he had to. He had been through a lot and it showed on his face, however, even when he was serious, he had a twinkle in his eye and a small hint of a smile. Looking at John Lewis was like looking at my grandpa. They had different skin colour, but, other than that, they could be twins.
Remembering my grandpa is also remembering how I had him wrapped around my little finger. I could get anything I wanted out of him. He really only had one thing that he wouldn't compromise on. I was not allowed to use the word "hate" while I was under his roof. It was the same rule that my parents had as well and I couldn't pit them against each other. You don't "hate", they would say, and you won't hate if you don't have that word in your vocabulary.
I used to feel that they were stifling my creativity. Of course, I really didn't "hate" asparagus or my home room or the boy that I secretly had a crush on. I was just using that word for dramatic effect. It didn't matter, I was not allowed to use the word hate.
I tried to obey and mostly succeeded. Then, I became an adult and, over time, I have met people that I really and truly have hated. I finally got it. Me hating them was having no effect on them whatsoever but it was having a very negative effect on me. I learned about forgiveness and I learned that forgiveness was not a gift to my enemies but a gift to myself.
And, John Lewis said it the best. "Hate is too heavy to carry."
Yeah, that totally is it. Hate is just too heavy to carry.
I remember when one of the men who brutally beat John Lewis decades ago came to his Congressional Office to apologize and ask for forgiveness. John Lewis appreciated that apology but told the man he didn't have to ask for forgiveness, because he had been forgiven long ago. Hate is just too heavy to carry.
As I have been cherishing the memory of John Lewis, I also have been remembering a documentary I watched a couple of months ago called "When They See Us". It is the story of the Central Park 5 who were wrongly convicted of rape and then exonerated years later when DNA proved them innocent. In the documentary, a private citizen at the time, took out newspaper ads against them and was interviewed several times about them. In every interview, he said, "I hate them." They were teenagers at the time and he never met them, but he told everyone he hated them. Even after they were released, he has refused to believe they are innocent and has still said that "he hates" them.
One thing that I have learned about hate that if it is in your heart, it is in every part of your body. It takes over your life and having hate in your life eliminates the word "hope" from your life.
I am a proud Canadian, but, the United States affects the whole world. I simply am not comfortable with having that powerful position being held by someone who hates. We really need an end to the politics of hate.
I am very glad that the border between the US and Canada remains closed, for the safety of Canada. However, I am also sad that it means, for now, that I can't go south and be one of the foreign nationalists interfering with the election. I would do everything I could to get into good trouble, necessary trouble.
But, that doesn't mean that I still can't get into good trouble, necessary trouble here in Canada. There is still work I can do here. And, all the while, thinking of my grandpa and all the good times we had together.
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