Meeting with My Diabetes Educator Which Changed Me

 

I get my medical services from a large clinic.  There are many advantages to my primary care provider being a member of such a clinic.  The clinic contains medical professionals from most disciplines.  The clinic is large enough to have 6 Diabetes Educators.  Since I am diabetic, I get my labs done quarterly.  If my labs are not what they should be, I am "invited" to meet with one of the Diabetes Educators to discuss.  It is not really an invitation, but rather an edict.  I don't mind too much.  There are many advantages to being a patient of such a large clinic and this is one of the few things that I have to endure a couple of times a year at most.  

Sadly, I know all 6 and their different styles and I also know what strategy works on most of them to achieve my goal of having the shortest appointment possible.  I can accomplish this pretty much with all but 1.  She starts pretty hot and starts with an indictment that my A1C is completely out of control and this is my third lab in the double digits.  I would point out this wasn't true and this was my first bad lab in over a year.  She would have to look back and then admit she was wrong, which she doesn't like, and then she will take her frustration out on me.  

My last trip to see a Diabetes Educator was very different.  It was with the youngest one the clinic has.  This beauty is best described as a young Jennifer Aniston, only prettier, and with better fashion sense.  She has flawless skin, fit with not an inch to pinch cumulatively on her body, golden blonde tresses, and always matched jewellery to outfit to shoes.  All the qualities that I despise in a woman but I like her just because she is so generally nice.  She appeared to have a perfect life and a very bright future.  So, our appointment began as they usually do, by her asking me what was going on.  I was ready this time.  It actually wasn't my fault.  My husband, despite my protests, brings me a treat every day.  It is a losing battle for me.  I have tried to encourage him to write me a love letter, or bring me a loonie for our piggy bank, or a pair of ear-rings from the dollar store, but he goes in phases.  His current phase is an apple fritter.  He brings me an apple fritter every day.  I get mad at him.  A couple of times I have thrown out the apple fritter or eaten half and thrown out half, but he is not deterred.  He brings me an apple fritter every day and that is why my A1C is not good.  

I don't know what I expected her to say but I kind of thought she would say to dump this toxic man from my life because clearly he was not interested in my health.  

Instead, she started crying.  

When she spoke, she told me that I really reminded her of her aunt.  Her aunt was very important to her and her aunt was this wonderful amazing woman who had poor luck in relationships and had given up finding someone.  She said she would give anything for her aunt to have someone in her life that loved her so much to bring her a treat every day.  Since her aunt had "given up" and resigned to live her life without a partner, she noticed that her aunt was losing her "sparkle" and was becoming a little bitter.  She was powerless as she watched her aunt's emotional and physical health decline.  Worse, since her aunt was so amazing, and had such horrible luck with relationships, my Diabetes Educator felt that there was little hope for her.  She advised me to stop discouraging the treats, be grateful that I had someone in my life who loved me so much, and to find a way to balance the effects of the apple fritter in my life.  

Her tears and her fears were genuine.  

I confess that if I have a "bias" in people, it is a bias against people who look like they are living an effortlessly perfect life.  I just don't think that much of them.  Seeing her genuinely care for someone else made her more human.  Her tears reminded me that there is no "perfect life" and everyone experiences strife.  Sometimes those who appear to be "perfect" may have more strife than most due to their need to appear perfect.  And, an affirmation that despite appearances, relationships are our legacy and our most valuable resources.  Her aunt was very lucky to have someone who cared so deeply and I am sure it wasn't by accident.  Her aunt probably had a strong positive influence on her life.  

Success in life is not that difficult.  Cherish and nurture your relationships and see what grows.  

I am forever blessed to have an amazing partner who insists on bringing me treats.  I will cherish him every day, but probably won't tell her every day.  I don't want him to become complacent, after all.