It's Complicated

I have been debating abortion since I was in grade 9.  My best friend and I disagreed and we used to have passionate debates.  We would have the same argument over and over until we both researched our positions and the other side's positions.  Then, we kept having the same argument but with new information.  We had this debate for 4 years.  We differed but we were always best friends. 

That was decades ago and I don't really have the appetite to debate the issue further.  I don't really care what position candidates in elections take.  I just think this is an issue that is personal. 

Legalized abortion had nothing to do with politics or religion when it started.  It had to do with practicality.  It is hard to believe, but, the reality was there was women getting abortions in back alleys with coat hangers.  It worked out as successfully as you would think.  People died.  People became infected and died of sepsis. People paid money to con artists.  It was similar to the government decriminalized marijuana.  It wasn't for political reasons, it was for practicality.  Essentially, it was more cost effective. 

I was on the pill when I conceived both my children.  I don't know why it didn't work.  The pill is supposed to be 98.8% effective.  I guess that it my lottery win.  Regardless, I have two perfect children.  Both pregnancies happened when I was married and was employed and had support. 

One of my favorite shows is Law and Order:  SVU.  One of the premises of the show is that the main character, Lt. Olivia Benson, is a child of rape.  20+ years on the police force and it still comes up as an issue for her and her deceased mother. 

I do believe it is a complicated issue, but, I don't think perfects strangers should have input into someone else's life. 

My son lived in NICU for the first month of his life.  He was 3 lbs and he was a giant compared to some of his room-mates.  Babies less than a pound addicted to crack, which was the drug of choice at the time.  It didn't seem that many of these babies had much of a chance. 

For over a decade, I worked as a child protection worker.  I saw too much.  What I didn't see was any assistance from people who were pro-life.  Extreme poverty.  Extreme abuse.  Where were the people who said that all life was valuable.  Their help could have made a world of difference. 

I remember sitting at an adoption fair.  On my display, I had two of the most beautiful blonde hair blue eyed boys.  Every couple attending this fair was drawn to my display as the boys were so beautiful.  Then, they would read about their history and read the reports by experts.  They would walk away.  Even though they were still babies, no one wanted to take them on.  They were too damaged.  I sat there for two days.  Every time a couple walked away, it was like they were rejecting me.  It was like sitting at the most unsuccessful garage sale ever.  The boys had to grow up as damaged goods that nobody wanted.  Futures were not bright. 

Abortions will still occur in Alabama.  It will just be back in back alleys and in horrific conditions performed by untrained people.  People will die, will require expensive medical interventions. 

Abstinence is the only sure way to ensure unwanted pregnancies.  Yet, we live in a highly sexualized society. 

It's complicated.  But, it is also simple.  But, I have had a tubal.  I will never be pregnant again.  Every situation is different, but, I never want to be part of any of those decisions.