Treat Your Women Well

When I was a rebellious and political young adult, I belonged to a number of women's collectives.  There was something amazing about getting together with a group of women.  At times, it could be frustrating.  I belonged to one collective where I thought we were accomplishing nothing.  At our business meetings, the entire collective had to agree on every resolution.  There was always one who disagreed with everything.  Not always the same woman, but there was also one brave dissenter.  I remember one marathon meeting lasting until 3 am because we couldn't all agree to adjourn.  I was so frustrated but now I realize how much we were really accomplishing.  We were empowering ourselves and helping women find their voice. 

Oh, I can see the eyes rolling.  Here she goes again.  Feminism.  My own daughter tells me that I have it wrong.  Women are not discriminated against today.  If anything, the pendulum has swung and it is men that are getting the short end of the stick.  Well, we all have our own experiences to draw upon, but, the reality is that 1 in 3 women will experience a sexual violence in their lifetime.  It is estimated that only 5% of these assaults are reported to the police.  It is not surprising at all.  For every 1000 assaults reported, 3 will lead to conviction.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Less than 1%, in fact, 0.03% of reported assaults lead to conviction.  I have some personal experience with this.  I reported one of my assaults to police.  I regret reporting it.  It took almost three years of my life and it was horrible.  My life was in limbo.  I "guess" my case was one that resulted in a "conviction".  I can tell you it didn't feel like a victory.  It felt like a slap in the face.  But, I guess that is our injustice system.  And, that is just one aspect of women treated badly.  There are many examples of this.  We still need to fight for equality and our fair share.  Most importantly, women need to support each other and celebrate each other. 

Yesterday, on Mother's Day, I was honoured to participate in a celebration of women.  Ok, it was a poker tournament.  The Mother of All Free Rolls.  How can I possibly claim that a poker tournament was a celebration of women?  Only because it truly was. 

It happened at the Roseau River Anishinabe First Nation.  There happens to be two female members of this First Nation who are poker junkies.  There may be more, but these two got together and went to their Band Council to fully fund this tournament to celebrate mother's.  And, not only to celebrate mother's but to really celebrate mother's.  To make women feel spoiled.  I was blessed to get an invite. 

First of all, the tournament was free to enter.  A way to spend Mother's Day in the company of women.  That in itself was enough.  Then, they gave each entrant a long stemmed rose and a special chocolate bar.  Already, I wanted to say stop, that's enough.  7 tables of women playing poker.  We laughed.  At the first break, we had a pizza lunch which was outstanding.  If you are a mother, you know that anything you don't cook tastes like a feast.  There were many examples of three generations of women playing together and having fun.  I felt guilty eating, but, unfortunately, it didn't stop me.  High hand of the day won a cash prize.  The final table all made the money.  It was pretty good money.  And, there was surprises along the way.  The most meaningful to me was that there were secret bounties.  When there was a "mother down", the tournament directors checked to see if it was one of the secret bounties.  The person had a choice of a remarkable hand-made pin to represent Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women.  Apparently, they retail for $30.  To me, they were priceless.  They were so beautiful and meaningful.  I was lucky enough to win one and the tournament director gave me a choice to pick one.  It took a long time to pick, they were all beautiful.  They all seemed to tell their own story.  If that wasn't enough, I won another secret bounty.  This time, the tournament director was prepared.  Random pick out of a large brown paper envelope.  Couldn't waste all that time for me to decide.  Ironically, the one that I picked randomly speaks to me in a very deep way.  I will be wearing both pins with pride and hope that they become conversation starters. 

I managed to make it to the final table, but that wasn't the important thing for me.  All the women were so incredibly welcome.  I found myself cheering for all women especially the ones who were in hands with me.  We all helped each other.  We cheered for each other and felt genuinely bad when the dealer would yell "mother down".  The final table was amazing as the other women formed a powerful circle around us.  The strength and support was amazing and it was completely satiated.

It was the power of women together that made this such a remarkable experience.  Women are powerful.  Treat them well.  Bravo to this strong community for leading the way.