The Physical Exhaustion of Life

When I was in my early 20s, I had a very long confrontation with my oldest sister.  It seems inappropriate to say it was a confrontation, because it was more of a healing session.  We were at a wedding and both of us said our share of passive aggressive digs at one another all day.  We were both highly emotionally charged that day.  After the wedding, we went to the party room in the hotel that we were staying at and we ended up being the entertainment.  I can not remember who issued the first verbal jab, but I remember thinking, you wanna go, let's go! 

And, it was on.  It went on for hours.  We both cried.  We both raised our voices.  In the end, it was healthy, a clearing of the air, a fresh start.  We actually came to a real understanding of each other.  I remember my mom and my brother-in-law sitting there watching us, both repeating over and over, "this is beautiful." 

It actually was beautiful because both my sister and I had the same goal.  We wanted a better relationship. 

I did have an advantage going in to this session over my sister.  I was a frequent crier and I also was comfortable with confrontation and I was younger.  My sister told me later that she had cried more that night than she had cumulatively in her life.  The crying was nothing for me.  And, I felt very refreshed and energized.  I went for a jog at 6 am and then breakfast.  My sister slept most of the day and when she emerged, she looked like she had been through a wringer washer.  She was exhausted. 

I can now truly relate with how she felt.  I had a confrontation with a family member.  It was a long time coming.  This time, we were at cross purposes.  One of us wanted to be right and the other wanted to repair and grow the relationship.  It was more nasty than it needed to be.  Neither of us gained anything from the confrontation. 

Maybe because nothing was resolved, maybe because I am older now, but, it sucked the life right out of me.  Stick a fork in me.  I was over-done.  It was a beautiful long weekend, but I was spiritually and emotionally exhausted.  I was a zombie walking, physically exhausted but unable to sleep.  Unable to do what I needed to do to restore. 

So, I followed the advice that I would give to a friend.  Listen to your body.  Rest.  So, I missed the long weekend.  I missed my routine.  I missed the fresh air.  But, I rested.  Longer than I wanted to, but I rested. 

And, today, I am ready to resume life.  I haven't quit. 

If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.  Simple common sense.  And, it works.  I wish it didn't take so long and come at such inconvenient times. But, that's life and resting and restoring is one of the key things necessary to building a life worth living. 

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