The Longest Night of the Year


This is officially the longest night of the year.  They often have a special mass on this day at my Church called Blue Christmas.  It is held on the longest night of the year, fittingly, and it is a service designed to respect that, for many, Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year.  It is usually crowded and all in attendance wail like babies.  Then we have coffee and cookies.  We are all strangers but we all hug each other and listen and share with each other.  It is a great power of human kindness and compassion.  I do not want to go on and on why it is a hard time of the year for me. 

The truth is that even though today is the longest night of the year, everyone has their own longest night of the year.  Everyone has experienced strife in their life.  Everyone is fighting some battle that we may not see.  Sometimes, this is ironic.  When my mother was going through aggressive chemotherapy and lost her hair, perfect stranger would come up and wish her strength with her battle.  The truth is that my mom did not think she was battling.  She was at the point in her life when she could not do anything with her hair and it would not take hair dye.  She was glad it fell out because it grew back thicker, curlier, healthier, and a nicer colour.  Yes, she found chemo exhausting but it meant that she could live longer to enjoy her grandchildren.  It was a small price to pay.  The real battle she was fighting was the heartbreak of losing the love of her life, my father.  She never got over it, despite people reminding her it had been years. 

I live in the second floor of my building.  One summer day, I had spent over 24 hours in ICU with my mother after she had a major heart attack, a GI bleed, and probably some other things.  Once she was transferred to a regular ward, I went home and stopped on the way to pick up something.  When I got in the building, someone held the elevator for me.  I walked in while dazed.  When I pressed 2, some woman asked how I could be so lazy carrying such a small package and not taking the stairs.  I admit I was not carrying much of a physical burden, but I was carrying a  very deep emotional one. 

That is the thing about the longest night of the year.  It does not happen for everyone on December 21.  Many have many longest nights of the year.  We do not know what emotional burden people are carrying.  All we can do is be kind. 

I am writing this for me.  I pledge to start a kindness journal today and keep it to next December 21.  There is one thing I know about kindness, the more you give, the more you get back for yourself.  If you reading this, just pause for a second.  Just be still.  Just be in the moment.  Just. Be. Kind. 



The family of my partner are all perfect.  Not one of them has ever made a mistake, with the exception of my partner who chose an embittered woman to get involved with.  

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