The Year I Didn't Do Well in Elementary School

Kids are back in school.  It is uncomfortable for most parents sending their children back.  Everyone has concerns regardless of where you find yourself politically.  I was a good student in elementary school except for grade 3.  I still have my report cards (thanks mom) and 5/6 are very consistent in the markings and comments.  I was adorable.  Except for grade 3.  Grade 3 I was solidly average and didn't even stand out enough for additional comments. 

My parents were deliriously happily married for over 25 years and completely unhappy for 1 year.  The year that I was in Grade 3.  I remember the night it started.  My dad had been travelling with his job and came home in late evening.  My mom had been crying most of the evening and she told my dad some news about her best friend.  They started arguing and then screaming at each other.  I went down stairs to try and mediate and was promptly told to go back to bed.  Shortly after that, my dad went for a walk.  I ran downstairs again and asked my crying mother where he went and when he was coming back.  She didn't know anything. 

The next day started what would be the routine for the rest of the year.  My mother slept upstairs in their bedroom.  My father slept downstairs in his den.  If my father was in town, he would make me breakfast and my mother would stay upstairs until he left for work.  If my dad was out of town for work, he told me where he was going and when he would be back.  I told my mom so she would know.  At dinner time, my father and I ate together at the kitchen table while my mom ate at the desk in the kitchen.  Ironically, that was the only time my parents indirectly spoke.  My dad would say outloud how good the dinner was or that he appreciated that his laundry was being done, things like that.  My mom would mutter, "yup, that's all I am good for, just being a slave around here."  I spent my evenings and weekends alternating between my mom upstairs and my dad downstairs. I knew what they were mad at each other for and I knew what each of them had to say to make things better but I never told them which made things even more awkward. Or maybe I did tell them and they didn't listen, I can't even remember.  I also can't remember Christmas of that year but I know my grandpa was there.  I can't remember my sister and her family coming to visit that year but I know they always came atleast once a month.  Grade 3 was the only year that my school pictures didn't show any teeth.  I can't remember if my parents still curled with each other on Saturday night Farmer's League.  I don't remember much other than walking up and down the stairs dividing my time between them. 

School ended.  My mom and I went to my grandpa's for a while.  My dad came and they went out for supper.  They ended up staying overnight in a hotel and the next day we all left grandpa's and went home.  The next two weeks were actually worse for me as my parents really made up.  Then, after this "honeymoon" was over, my parents were happy together for the rest of their marriage and still had time to dote all over me.

My point is that things that happen outside of school often have a profound affect on what happens inside school.  I have the report cards to prove it.  Also, that is the only year that I don't remember anything about what happened in school.  Every other year, I also remember my parents being active partners in my learning.

This year "back to school" is unlike any other.  Our society is dealing with three "once in a generation" crises at one time: the pandemic, the economy, and the racial reckoning.  Not to mention what is happening at home.  Not to mention what is happening at the homes of our educators.  Not to mention that we have forgotten how to communicate with each other as everything seems political and people seem firmly entrenched in their positions.  Not to mention the many months missed last year. 

This may be the year that no one does particularly well at school.