Why do the wrong people apologize?

Have you ever been apologized to by the wrong person?  It is not that satisfying.  It doesn't make me feel good when someone you know is an ethical person takes responsibility for someone else's mistakes.  The person who made the mistake is deprived of learning the life lesson of taking responsibility for the mistake.  Learning to apologize is an important life skill.  Everyone makes mistakes.  I make about a million before noon.  No one expects anyone to be perfect.  What we do expect is humility.  It also helps if people make different mistakes rather than the same ones over and over.  When you don't have the common sense to apologize, you make a little mistake bigger.  The emotion when you are the victim becomes bigger.  Something really insignificant turns into a big deal.  

Late this morning, I took my grandson to my favorite coffee shop, The Daily Grind.  There is very little about The Daily Grind that I don't like.  I have had memorable conversations.  I have enjoyed moments of reflection in solitude.  It is obvious that the manager/owner has a commitment to customer service and to the quality of his products.  My favorites are the Bavarian Mushroom soup and the Borscht.  Sometimes I order both, they are both so good.  Simply can't be beat for comfort food.  

Today I ordered a treat for my grandson and some soup.  When you pay with debit, you are encouraged to tip prior to getting your order.  I don't mind that and I understand that it is the way to do business, but, I have some friends who object to this.  They feel the tip should come at the end of the service and not before.  Regardless, I tipped a small amount.  The cashier who take my order wasn't exactly the friendliest, but that's ok, it was a simple transaction.  

Since I had nothing to do but wait and think, I noticed something while I was waiting for my order, a simple bowl of soup.  Another young lady went to the counter and ordered the same bowl of soup.  It was clear that the cashier and the customer knew each other. The customer was encouraged to stay at the counter and visit with the cashier while her soup was ladled out for her.  Then, I annoyed that people who had been there long after I arrived were getting their complicated grilled sandwiches.  Finally, I noticed that I had been waiting for 37 minutes.  

It was clear to me that the cashier didn't pass on my order.  I put on our coats and stopped at the counter and said we had been waiting for a while.  The cashier did not apologize for the wait, instead, she did not acknowledge me at all, and just yelled at the manager to ladle out some mushroom soup.  She did not even have the maturity to identify to him that this was her mistake.  Once she noticed our coats on, she further yelled, "oh, just put it in a take-out container."  He looked at me and assessed the situation and recognized that he had seen me waiting for a while.  Meanwhile, she looked back at me without a word.  I just stared at her, not because I wanted to make her uncomfortable, but because I wanted her to say, "sorry, that was my fault."  Then, it would be over.  Even an insincere, "I am sorry this happened to you." would have ended it.  But, no.  Nothing.  I will remember that cashier now.  

The manager came out and apologized for the long wait and indicated he had given me a full size instead of the side size I had ordered.  He apologized again.  I felt bad.  I already know that he is an ethical man with integrity.  I was annoyed that the person who needed to apologize didn't.  

I am sorry.  Three words.  Not really that hard to say.  Like any life skill, it is easier when you practice.  Practice apologizing.  People who regularly apologize realize they don't lose when they apologize, more often than not, they end up gaining.  Apologizing is a little like scattering seeds.  You never know what grows.