Where Social Justice Gets a Pass
I devote my blog to social justice. I leave criminal justice to the legal system because I think they are better equipped to handle this, but, I still believe that an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. This includes social justice. I also truly believe the rallying cry of social justice crusaders. No justice, no peace.
There is one place where social justice seems to get a pass and is a challenge to my personal ethics. It is the poker table at my local casinos. I feel obliged to clarify that this is not the case all the time. In reality, the good poker players rely on their skills so they have no need to belittle others in a feeble attempt to improve their game.
My contribution to social justice at the poker table is to explain the feminist movement to those who appear to be living in a cave for their entire lives. It is not uncommon for me to be the only woman at a poker table with 8 other men. Even though, I am sitting right there and can clearly hear all conversations, I am often referred to as `her`. I tell them my name and ask to be referred to as such. They often are totally offended and don`t understand this. I quietly explain why this is an assault on feminism. Females have been traditionally discriminated against on the basis of gender alone. We only go the right to vote this century. We have had to grow in a world where we are paid less for the same work as our male counterparts. This is not ancient history. We have come a long way, but we still have miles to go. One of my heros, the first female Mayor of Ottawa had a famous quote. In order to be considered half as good as a man, a woman must work twice as hard and be twice as intelligent. She also notes that fortunately, this is not difficult. When I am the only woman at a table, and I am referred to as a pronoun, I am essentially being dehumanized. This is subtle, I realize. The poorer players challenge this as discrimination. They don`t understand. Of course, they don`t. These are white males. They, as a group, have never had to face discrimination based on their genetic makeup, something out of their control.
I have witnessed two other threats to social justice at the poker table. One happens often when people frequently use what is called abusive language. Using the `f`` word all the time. When I bring it to the attention of most dealers, they pretend they don`t hear or they provide an excuse for the player. They are frustrated. I don`t believe they deserve this pass for this. Again, every poker player gets frustrated as every poker player has had what they think is a bad beat. The good poker players don`t show their frustration at the table. They get up, go for a walk, or do whatever they need to shake it off. (Ironically, none of them every listen to Taylor Swift`s `Shake it Off``.) It is only the bad players who need to give information that they are so easily frustrated. I usually let this behavior go, and I think if this person needs to rely on swear words to communicate 70% of their spoken words, they obviously have no self-respect. But, it still is a dilemma for me. If they have no self respect, they probably have no respect for anyone else. These people are dangerous and that is why their language is not just simple swear words, it is actually abusive language.
Last weekend, I played for a while with 8 men, one of whom used the f word more than he used all other words combined. I was about to explain the law of attraction to him. Simply put, what you give out to the universe if what you get back. He was never going to get good cards if he continued putting out that negativity. Somehow, I don`t think he would have appreciated me pointing this out so I kept quiet. Inevitably, we got into a hand together where I had a better starting hand. He didn`t have many chips in front of him so he went all in on the flop despite having nothing. I had already made my hand on the flop so I called. His hand never improved. He unleashed his expletives directed at me. I looked around the table. Every other player had his head down. Apparently, no one else heard. That is another unwritten rule in the poker room. Nobody saw nothing. The fword guy said that he would have to go to the bank machine. As he was leaving, he said, `That fing bitch. I fing hate her.`` This was at the door to the room about 10 feet away from the table. Again, I was the only one who heard. It saddens me when my poker colleagues don`t understand why when they don`t speak up, they are essentially condoning this behavior.
I am far from perfect, yet, I use one guiding principle when playing poker. Would I be comfortable having my children watch me play. It turns out I would and I invited my son to watch me play in a tournament in Vancouver. His presence did not affect my play. I wonder if the fword guy would ever invite his children to watch him. My guess is that his parenting is much like his play and he is a dogmatic bully off the table as well. It is unlikely his children would accept his invitation anyway.
The other threat to social justice at the poker table is racism. Not long ago, I heard a player spout off incredible racist remarks. I was literally stunned and I am ashamed to say that I did nothing. This was a time that I am glad that my children weren`t there to watch. I should have had the courage to call this guy out. It bothered me immensely. As it happened, the ethnic group that this player attacked was the same of the dealer. This dealer should be entitled to the protection of respectful workplace legislation, but I know this dealer would never complain. He is used to this behavior and thinks it is a necessary part of the job.
This bothered me so much that I discussed it with the poker manager. He is a very thoughtful highly intelligent man. He advised me to consider the source and to let poker staff know right away but if I had said something, it would have only led to a number of hurt feelings on both sides.
I have reflected on this very much. I have concluded that when social justice is given a pass and not addressed, things happen. Donald Trump gets elected as President of the most powerful nation on the planet. Seriously, it is not a joke. Trump was able to get elected by empowering this group of ignorant men to share their brand of prejudice. He played on their fears and their insecurities. He gave them permission to use their voices loudly and proudly. This is why we can`t allow this type of behavior to get a pass.
I haven`t played all over the world but I have played in many other casinos. I haven`t encountered this behavior probably because it is not allowed. I know one dealer that immediately and skillfully shuts down anything remotely controversial. Perhaps he should be training and mentoring the newer dealers. I know another dealer who warns players at first infraction. At the second infraction, the dealer just doesn`t give that player cards in the next hand. They get the message quickly and there is rarely a third infraction.
I am sure the casino feels powerless to address this type of behavior not wanting to lose the revenue these players bring. Even this economic argument does not make sense. Poker doesn`t give the casino huge revenue anyway. Also, there are a lot of tourists who come to play. I`m sure the bigotry turns many of them away. Word of mouth is important. I am sure they are losing quality players. Also, it is just common sense that eventually your affected dealers will leave or will suffer burnout. Sick time is a huge drain on a corporation`s bottom line. Recruiting and training new staff is a huge cost. It is just common sense to maintain good employees.
I understand that there are some men who do need a forum to let loose and swear and fart and degrade women and other minorities. There is a place for this. It is called some guys basement. Like minded bigots can get together in the comfort of a private place and let loose. As for a casino which is a regulated corporation of the Provincial government, there is no place for that behavior.
There is one place where social justice seems to get a pass and is a challenge to my personal ethics. It is the poker table at my local casinos. I feel obliged to clarify that this is not the case all the time. In reality, the good poker players rely on their skills so they have no need to belittle others in a feeble attempt to improve their game.
My contribution to social justice at the poker table is to explain the feminist movement to those who appear to be living in a cave for their entire lives. It is not uncommon for me to be the only woman at a poker table with 8 other men. Even though, I am sitting right there and can clearly hear all conversations, I am often referred to as `her`. I tell them my name and ask to be referred to as such. They often are totally offended and don`t understand this. I quietly explain why this is an assault on feminism. Females have been traditionally discriminated against on the basis of gender alone. We only go the right to vote this century. We have had to grow in a world where we are paid less for the same work as our male counterparts. This is not ancient history. We have come a long way, but we still have miles to go. One of my heros, the first female Mayor of Ottawa had a famous quote. In order to be considered half as good as a man, a woman must work twice as hard and be twice as intelligent. She also notes that fortunately, this is not difficult. When I am the only woman at a table, and I am referred to as a pronoun, I am essentially being dehumanized. This is subtle, I realize. The poorer players challenge this as discrimination. They don`t understand. Of course, they don`t. These are white males. They, as a group, have never had to face discrimination based on their genetic makeup, something out of their control.
I have witnessed two other threats to social justice at the poker table. One happens often when people frequently use what is called abusive language. Using the `f`` word all the time. When I bring it to the attention of most dealers, they pretend they don`t hear or they provide an excuse for the player. They are frustrated. I don`t believe they deserve this pass for this. Again, every poker player gets frustrated as every poker player has had what they think is a bad beat. The good poker players don`t show their frustration at the table. They get up, go for a walk, or do whatever they need to shake it off. (Ironically, none of them every listen to Taylor Swift`s `Shake it Off``.) It is only the bad players who need to give information that they are so easily frustrated. I usually let this behavior go, and I think if this person needs to rely on swear words to communicate 70% of their spoken words, they obviously have no self-respect. But, it still is a dilemma for me. If they have no self respect, they probably have no respect for anyone else. These people are dangerous and that is why their language is not just simple swear words, it is actually abusive language.
Last weekend, I played for a while with 8 men, one of whom used the f word more than he used all other words combined. I was about to explain the law of attraction to him. Simply put, what you give out to the universe if what you get back. He was never going to get good cards if he continued putting out that negativity. Somehow, I don`t think he would have appreciated me pointing this out so I kept quiet. Inevitably, we got into a hand together where I had a better starting hand. He didn`t have many chips in front of him so he went all in on the flop despite having nothing. I had already made my hand on the flop so I called. His hand never improved. He unleashed his expletives directed at me. I looked around the table. Every other player had his head down. Apparently, no one else heard. That is another unwritten rule in the poker room. Nobody saw nothing. The fword guy said that he would have to go to the bank machine. As he was leaving, he said, `That fing bitch. I fing hate her.`` This was at the door to the room about 10 feet away from the table. Again, I was the only one who heard. It saddens me when my poker colleagues don`t understand why when they don`t speak up, they are essentially condoning this behavior.
I am far from perfect, yet, I use one guiding principle when playing poker. Would I be comfortable having my children watch me play. It turns out I would and I invited my son to watch me play in a tournament in Vancouver. His presence did not affect my play. I wonder if the fword guy would ever invite his children to watch him. My guess is that his parenting is much like his play and he is a dogmatic bully off the table as well. It is unlikely his children would accept his invitation anyway.
The other threat to social justice at the poker table is racism. Not long ago, I heard a player spout off incredible racist remarks. I was literally stunned and I am ashamed to say that I did nothing. This was a time that I am glad that my children weren`t there to watch. I should have had the courage to call this guy out. It bothered me immensely. As it happened, the ethnic group that this player attacked was the same of the dealer. This dealer should be entitled to the protection of respectful workplace legislation, but I know this dealer would never complain. He is used to this behavior and thinks it is a necessary part of the job.
This bothered me so much that I discussed it with the poker manager. He is a very thoughtful highly intelligent man. He advised me to consider the source and to let poker staff know right away but if I had said something, it would have only led to a number of hurt feelings on both sides.
I have reflected on this very much. I have concluded that when social justice is given a pass and not addressed, things happen. Donald Trump gets elected as President of the most powerful nation on the planet. Seriously, it is not a joke. Trump was able to get elected by empowering this group of ignorant men to share their brand of prejudice. He played on their fears and their insecurities. He gave them permission to use their voices loudly and proudly. This is why we can`t allow this type of behavior to get a pass.
I haven`t played all over the world but I have played in many other casinos. I haven`t encountered this behavior probably because it is not allowed. I know one dealer that immediately and skillfully shuts down anything remotely controversial. Perhaps he should be training and mentoring the newer dealers. I know another dealer who warns players at first infraction. At the second infraction, the dealer just doesn`t give that player cards in the next hand. They get the message quickly and there is rarely a third infraction.
I am sure the casino feels powerless to address this type of behavior not wanting to lose the revenue these players bring. Even this economic argument does not make sense. Poker doesn`t give the casino huge revenue anyway. Also, there are a lot of tourists who come to play. I`m sure the bigotry turns many of them away. Word of mouth is important. I am sure they are losing quality players. Also, it is just common sense that eventually your affected dealers will leave or will suffer burnout. Sick time is a huge drain on a corporation`s bottom line. Recruiting and training new staff is a huge cost. It is just common sense to maintain good employees.
I understand that there are some men who do need a forum to let loose and swear and fart and degrade women and other minorities. There is a place for this. It is called some guys basement. Like minded bigots can get together in the comfort of a private place and let loose. As for a casino which is a regulated corporation of the Provincial government, there is no place for that behavior.
Comments
Post a Comment