Me too......
It happens in Hollywood, but it also happens to nobodies. I am saddened to say this was not the only time it happened, but it was the first for me.
I had a summer job in my early twenties. There was about 5 other summer students in an office with about 10 other employees. All female except for the boss. He was about 60 years old at the time. He used to make jokes all the time about his luck being in charge of a bunch of women.
For some reason, I was his favorite. He let me leave early, come in late, take extra time on breaks, praised my work in front of the others. It was kind of a great job, except my other colleagues resented me. He also took me out for lunch about once a week. He never took anyone else out for lunch. This did not help my colleagues like me any more, but it did not bother me. It was a summer job. I did not need them to like me.
One day I was at my computer screen and I happened to be the only one in the office with him at the time. He came and massaged my shoulders. He did that to all of us every now and then. He massaged my shoulders and then his hands dropped and cupped my breasts. I froze and then happily I heard the door open and someone was coming. I got up quickly and moved away.
I did not tell anyone mostly because I did not really have anything to tell. I convinced myself nothing happened. All the other women in the office assumed something was going on anyway since I always got preferential treatment. I realized he knew what he was doing and the preferential treatment was a way to isolate me and to make it seem like we had a relationship.
On my second last week on the job he called me into his office and shut the door he said he just needed someone to talk to. He had just had lunch with his wife. He told me how rocky his marriage was and he had been looking for a way out for a long time. He told me he just wanted to spend a few minutes with an attractive woman after having lunch with her. He then reached over and touched my breast, over my shirt. He massaged it until my nipple got hard and then he pinched my nipple. Then he thanked me for listening and told me I could leave.
After that he started having erotic dreams about me. He never told me this, but told the other women in my office. They all told me about this. It grossed me out but I did not know what to do about it. It felt awful and inappropriate but what could I do. There was nothing to tell.
Again, I did not tell anyone. I did not think I had anything to tell. He did not touch my breast directly. It was through a blouse and a bra. I rationalized his behavior and said he did not do anything wrong. Even if I told, he would not get into trouble because nothing really happened.
On the last week, our office started planning a party to celebrate the students last day. We were going to have a bbq at his home. He let it know we would be welcome to use his hot tub. I signed up for the dish that I was going to bring and talked about this bbq as if I was excited as everyone else. On the last hour of work, I conveniently came down with a migraine and had to go home. It was my last day of work. I did not think he had any power at that point to give me any consequences.
At about 11 pm, the intercom to my apartment buzzed. It was him. He sounded drunk. He said the party ended early and he was worried about me so he brought me some soup and asked to come up. I did not let him in and told him my boyfriend was there and he was taking good care of me. And, that was the end. I never saw him again, and I tried to never think of him again.
I feel compelled to issue a true and heart-felt apology. I am sincerely sorry. I am sorry for all the students who came after me. But, not telling anyone, I allowed him to think it was ok. I just gave him practice on his modus operandi. I know I was not really special. I just happened to be the one he singled out. I am sorry I was coward and perhaps contributed to some other woman being assaulted.
Women do not disclose for a variety of reasons. They are embarrassed, they are afraid of the consequences, they do not think they will believed, or they convince themselves nothing happened, or they think they were complicit, or a combination of all.
It is amazing how many of the things that never happened cause long lasting effects.
I had a summer job in my early twenties. There was about 5 other summer students in an office with about 10 other employees. All female except for the boss. He was about 60 years old at the time. He used to make jokes all the time about his luck being in charge of a bunch of women.
For some reason, I was his favorite. He let me leave early, come in late, take extra time on breaks, praised my work in front of the others. It was kind of a great job, except my other colleagues resented me. He also took me out for lunch about once a week. He never took anyone else out for lunch. This did not help my colleagues like me any more, but it did not bother me. It was a summer job. I did not need them to like me.
One day I was at my computer screen and I happened to be the only one in the office with him at the time. He came and massaged my shoulders. He did that to all of us every now and then. He massaged my shoulders and then his hands dropped and cupped my breasts. I froze and then happily I heard the door open and someone was coming. I got up quickly and moved away.
I did not tell anyone mostly because I did not really have anything to tell. I convinced myself nothing happened. All the other women in the office assumed something was going on anyway since I always got preferential treatment. I realized he knew what he was doing and the preferential treatment was a way to isolate me and to make it seem like we had a relationship.
On my second last week on the job he called me into his office and shut the door he said he just needed someone to talk to. He had just had lunch with his wife. He told me how rocky his marriage was and he had been looking for a way out for a long time. He told me he just wanted to spend a few minutes with an attractive woman after having lunch with her. He then reached over and touched my breast, over my shirt. He massaged it until my nipple got hard and then he pinched my nipple. Then he thanked me for listening and told me I could leave.
After that he started having erotic dreams about me. He never told me this, but told the other women in my office. They all told me about this. It grossed me out but I did not know what to do about it. It felt awful and inappropriate but what could I do. There was nothing to tell.
Again, I did not tell anyone. I did not think I had anything to tell. He did not touch my breast directly. It was through a blouse and a bra. I rationalized his behavior and said he did not do anything wrong. Even if I told, he would not get into trouble because nothing really happened.
On the last week, our office started planning a party to celebrate the students last day. We were going to have a bbq at his home. He let it know we would be welcome to use his hot tub. I signed up for the dish that I was going to bring and talked about this bbq as if I was excited as everyone else. On the last hour of work, I conveniently came down with a migraine and had to go home. It was my last day of work. I did not think he had any power at that point to give me any consequences.
At about 11 pm, the intercom to my apartment buzzed. It was him. He sounded drunk. He said the party ended early and he was worried about me so he brought me some soup and asked to come up. I did not let him in and told him my boyfriend was there and he was taking good care of me. And, that was the end. I never saw him again, and I tried to never think of him again.
I feel compelled to issue a true and heart-felt apology. I am sincerely sorry. I am sorry for all the students who came after me. But, not telling anyone, I allowed him to think it was ok. I just gave him practice on his modus operandi. I know I was not really special. I just happened to be the one he singled out. I am sorry I was coward and perhaps contributed to some other woman being assaulted.
Women do not disclose for a variety of reasons. They are embarrassed, they are afraid of the consequences, they do not think they will believed, or they convince themselves nothing happened, or they think they were complicit, or a combination of all.
It is amazing how many of the things that never happened cause long lasting effects.
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