Happy Birthday Beauty

I have three female friends that have birthdays on August 1.  This means they are all Leos.  I looked up what the horoscope says for women born on this day.  My best friend believes very much in the zodiac and tarot cards and other things.  I don't put much stock in it, but, in this case, it seems rather accurate.  It says that women born on this day are exceptionally attractive and are very principled.  That is true for all three of these ladies. 

I am going to focus on the one I know the least, however, has taught me so much.  I've only met her once but I was struck with her grace and strength.  She had lost her son a few weeks prior.  She was healing then.  She is healing now.  She will never be healed, but, she will always be ok.  She has had the strength to introduce us to her son.  He was so talented, so smart, so funny, and so handsome.  She has shared hundreds of pictures on facebook.  Him at all ages.  Even when he is in a group pictures and he is a toddler, I can pick him out immediately.  It's that smile.  His smile just makes me fall in love with him.  And, I didn't even meet him.  But, I wasn't the only one who was in love with him.  It seems everyone he met was in love with him.  I think that is why she shares so many pictures.  She wants the world to know how loved he was.  She wants the world to know how special he was.  He was very special and he also had a mental illness and was an addict.  His mom doesn't present him as perfect, just a normal young man.  It is important for the world to know him.  It is important to know how beautiful he was and how loved he was and how talented he was.  It is important to know that addiction can affect anyone.  It is not a choice, it is a disease.  His mom didn't choose this for him and he didn't choose this path either.  In fact, in his writings, he wanted help, he wanted to be free of addiction.  It just didn't happen, because, there isn't enough help out there. 

The problems are many.  Waiting lists.  Legal issues.  Complicated protocols.  Criteria for admission that only admits those who have a high degree of success.  That is on all of us.  Government dollars are limited and they want to be allocated wisely.  They want bang for their buck.  They want success.  Unfortunately, with addiction, treatment is difficult and complex.  It often doesn't work the first time. 

Regardless, I have learned so much about grief by watching her posts.  It turns out grief is never over, it just changes.  But, every day for the rest of her life, she will be grieving.  And, she still has the strength of character to continue educating us about her journey. 

Addiction does not discriminate.  It doesn't care who you are.  It can happen in the best families. 

I know your son will be in your mind today, as he is everyday.  He was a beautiful and talented young man.  In this case, the apple didn't fall far from the tree. 

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