Shout Out To Miserable Stranger

Things happen for a reason. Sometimes that reason isn't apparent at the time.

Two days ago, I had a confrontation with a stranger in a public place.  It was just weird and it was about nothing.  Two complete strangers in a mall getting into each other's face.  I was there shopping for a wedding shower present.  She was there to spread her misery, I assume.  Ironically, we were looking at the same item when she felt compelled to point out another customer who was a "minority" and tell an off-colour joke.  For a brief second, I wondered what was wrong with me.  What was it about me that signaled that I would find this funny.  I looked into her eyes and all I saw was intolerance and ignorance.  I am a social justice warrior.  I know that the combination of intolerance and ignorance lead to injustice.  I knew I couldn't let that comment go.  Somehow, we were in an unpleasant conversation and voices were raised.  The back-and-forth went on until she walked away when I was in mid-sentence.  She may have been miserable but she was also a coward.

For some reason, that confrontation took a lot out of me.  I was depleted.  As I was telling my partner this story, I had a flash that I knew this woman from somewhere.  I tried to place her and then it dawned on me.  I thought she was one of the "white people".  I couldn't believe I was having a confrontation with one of the "white people" on the eve of ground-breaking of the Bruce Oake Recovery Centre.

https://spitfiretakesontheworld.blogspot.com/2018/08/one-of-my-saddest-days-in-winnipeg.html

My partner and I booked time off so that we could attend the ground-breaking ceremony.  As we were getting ready to go, I announced that I wasn't going.  Unfortunately, the confrontation the previous day had depleted my personal resources more than I wanted.  I just didn't have the energy.  My partner was going no matter what so I could live the experience vicariously through him later on.  He wanted me to come.  Unfortunately, he doesn't ask for much.  He is supportive of my journey with depression but, he also doesn't want ignorance and intolerance to rule my life.  I reluctantly agreed to go.  I made him promise that he would stand near me and hold my hand and not let go of my hand.  We were standing at the back and I was deep breathing.  Everything was fine until he found someone he knew from his basketball days.  He let go of my hand and left me alone. 
I looked around and I was standing next to a "white person."  Not just any "white person" but the man who was holding a sign at the door of the public meeting a year ago and was trying to discourage people from entering.  And then his wife stood came up and stood even closer to me.  I'm making an assumption here.  They may not be married but she put her arm around him and gave him a kiss.  It was the woman from the previous day.  And, there I was.  Shoulder to breast bone with her.  (What can I say, I'm pretty short.)  I started to panic and wanted to run away.  But, I also knew that I could live through this.  As with any panic attack, it starts to end with a single breathe.  I started listening to this couple.  They were just miserable people looking for the bad in life.  I wondered what they were doing there, but, I also remembered her cowardice the previous day.  I felt they would be consistent.  Sure enough, once the official program started, they left.  (I don't know what they expected, a last-minute call from the Governor staying the execution?) 

The ceremony was both classy and down-to-earth.  /A triumph for those who believe in redemption and recovery.  I was so glad I went.  And, I'm really grateful to the miserable stranger.  She reminded me why supportive non-judgmental facilities are needed.  She reminded me of the many obstacles there are to recovery.  She reminded me that there are still people who think it is perfectly acceptable to put down a minority group to a stranger.  I think the word is entitled.  I am grateful that she ended up enhancing my enjoyment of the ground-breaking ceremony. 

Things happen for a reason. 





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