Being a Mother-In-Law
I used to think being a mother-in-law must be the hardest job on the planet. I based this on personal experience. I have had two mother-in-laws and both of them were difficult for me to have relationships with. Both are nice ladies, and let's face it, I'm adorable, so it had to be the role of mother-in-law that was making things difficult.
So, I was very nervous about having my son-in-law holidaying with us for a week. And not just any week. This past year, my son-in-law got his first "adult" job, one with good benefits and a pension plan. So, this was his first "adult" vacation. I felt a lot of pressure. This was my first extended test as a mother-in-law. I didn't want him to go back and tell his co-workers about his monster mother-in-law.
When I went to pick them up at the airport, there they came down the escalator. My Princess, my grandson, and my son-in-law. I realized I was equally happy to see all of them and couldn't wait to hug all three of them.
I wondered why I was so nervous yet so happy at the same time. Then, I remembered Social Psych 101 or any issue of Glamour Magazine. How To Make Friends. You can never have too many friends, but making friends is work. The formula for making friends is proximity, shared experiences, and mutual sharing.
I realized then why having a Son-In-Law is so great. You have made an instant friend without doing any work. It's true. You have proximity in common. Even if you are provinces away, you are bound to each other and will have opportunities to see each other. My son-in-law and I already have shared interests in my princess and my grandson and the mutual sharing has also been already taken care of by the princess. We already know a lot about each other from the princess.
So, with no effort, I had a new friend. Not only that, he has parents, siblings, friends, etc. I have ready made opportunities to make a whole bunch of new friends. I have already met his father and liked his instantly. Despite the fact, according to the princess, that we don't share similar views on much, we are already friends. Like I mentioned, I am adorable.
And, this amazing son-in-law made my life complete when he helped make my grandson. He has given me overwhelming joy to last a life-time. I feel deeply indebted to him. It makes me wonder how some mother-in-laws find it challenging to love their son-in-laws or daughters-in-law. It seems pretty easy to me.
And, there are fringe benefits to having a son-in-law that I never anticipated. He eats everything I cook. Other people (and I'm not pointing fingers at my princess or my sweetie) tend not to like it when I try new things or boldly tell me it is not my best work. But, my son-in-law eats everything. And, no left-overs ! It is a truly wonderful sound to wake up to at 2 am to hear the microwave going and my son-in-law eating my left-overs. Makes me feel blessed. I made one dish with a secret ingredient. My son-in-law was the only one who even tried to figure it out.
We don't have to bother about small talk or worry about not having things to talk about. We have the grandson and the princess in common. We have enough to talk about for a lifetime.
I love my children but they seem to have an innate response to my wisdom. Whenever I give advice or my opinion, they seem to automatically roll their eyes. I'm sure it is not intentional. My son-in-law appears to listen, even if he is rolling his eyes after I am out of sight.
Of course, my son-in-law is really cool. One night he arranged all of my flower pots so that it looked better. No one else would ever have the nerve to do so or even tell me an option of it looking better. I like his initiative and I liked that he was trying to make my life more beautiful. I didn't agree but I smiled and thanked him and was going to change it back after he left. I haven't yet. I have grown to like his way better.
My son-in-law is also cool because he has some cool interests. He spent a lot of time listening to a series of pod-casts on the Cold War because he felt it was that era of history that he knew the least in. Very cool that he values history. Even more cool that we could have a conversation on one of my favorite books, 1984. I'm hoping next visit, we can talk about Machiavellian figures in history.
Either way, how many 20 somethings say to my sweetie and I that we are fun to hang out with and he is looking forward to our perfect grandson being a little older so that we can get a babysitter and the four of us can go out. He didn't even see the princess roll her eyes !!
I really don't know if I am a great mother-in-law or not, but I am sure enjoying it. And, it is not really the hard gig that it is made out to be. He created my grandson, he loves my daughter, nothing else matters. I love my son-in-law and feel sorry for the mother-in-laws who can't find room in their hearts to love another person.
So, I was very nervous about having my son-in-law holidaying with us for a week. And not just any week. This past year, my son-in-law got his first "adult" job, one with good benefits and a pension plan. So, this was his first "adult" vacation. I felt a lot of pressure. This was my first extended test as a mother-in-law. I didn't want him to go back and tell his co-workers about his monster mother-in-law.
When I went to pick them up at the airport, there they came down the escalator. My Princess, my grandson, and my son-in-law. I realized I was equally happy to see all of them and couldn't wait to hug all three of them.
I wondered why I was so nervous yet so happy at the same time. Then, I remembered Social Psych 101 or any issue of Glamour Magazine. How To Make Friends. You can never have too many friends, but making friends is work. The formula for making friends is proximity, shared experiences, and mutual sharing.
I realized then why having a Son-In-Law is so great. You have made an instant friend without doing any work. It's true. You have proximity in common. Even if you are provinces away, you are bound to each other and will have opportunities to see each other. My son-in-law and I already have shared interests in my princess and my grandson and the mutual sharing has also been already taken care of by the princess. We already know a lot about each other from the princess.
So, with no effort, I had a new friend. Not only that, he has parents, siblings, friends, etc. I have ready made opportunities to make a whole bunch of new friends. I have already met his father and liked his instantly. Despite the fact, according to the princess, that we don't share similar views on much, we are already friends. Like I mentioned, I am adorable.
And, this amazing son-in-law made my life complete when he helped make my grandson. He has given me overwhelming joy to last a life-time. I feel deeply indebted to him. It makes me wonder how some mother-in-laws find it challenging to love their son-in-laws or daughters-in-law. It seems pretty easy to me.
And, there are fringe benefits to having a son-in-law that I never anticipated. He eats everything I cook. Other people (and I'm not pointing fingers at my princess or my sweetie) tend not to like it when I try new things or boldly tell me it is not my best work. But, my son-in-law eats everything. And, no left-overs ! It is a truly wonderful sound to wake up to at 2 am to hear the microwave going and my son-in-law eating my left-overs. Makes me feel blessed. I made one dish with a secret ingredient. My son-in-law was the only one who even tried to figure it out.
We don't have to bother about small talk or worry about not having things to talk about. We have the grandson and the princess in common. We have enough to talk about for a lifetime.
I love my children but they seem to have an innate response to my wisdom. Whenever I give advice or my opinion, they seem to automatically roll their eyes. I'm sure it is not intentional. My son-in-law appears to listen, even if he is rolling his eyes after I am out of sight.
Of course, my son-in-law is really cool. One night he arranged all of my flower pots so that it looked better. No one else would ever have the nerve to do so or even tell me an option of it looking better. I like his initiative and I liked that he was trying to make my life more beautiful. I didn't agree but I smiled and thanked him and was going to change it back after he left. I haven't yet. I have grown to like his way better.
My son-in-law is also cool because he has some cool interests. He spent a lot of time listening to a series of pod-casts on the Cold War because he felt it was that era of history that he knew the least in. Very cool that he values history. Even more cool that we could have a conversation on one of my favorite books, 1984. I'm hoping next visit, we can talk about Machiavellian figures in history.
Either way, how many 20 somethings say to my sweetie and I that we are fun to hang out with and he is looking forward to our perfect grandson being a little older so that we can get a babysitter and the four of us can go out. He didn't even see the princess roll her eyes !!
I really don't know if I am a great mother-in-law or not, but I am sure enjoying it. And, it is not really the hard gig that it is made out to be. He created my grandson, he loves my daughter, nothing else matters. I love my son-in-law and feel sorry for the mother-in-laws who can't find room in their hearts to love another person.
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