"I Look Amazing in this Shirt."

Our first date was memorable for one reason.  Irony.  Seriously, he kept using the word, "ironic" wrong and often.  A sentence didn't come out of his mouth that didn't include "ironic".  It was like fingers on a chalk board.  I so wanted to tell him that not only was whatever he said not ironic, it was not even interesting.  But, I didn't want to be that mean on a first date.  This was a third date conversation. 

Our second date was like the first except I talked less.  I wanted it to be over and on to the third date. 

Finally, the third date.  I gave him the English lesson on irony.  And, then because I was on a roll, I also offered my observation that he was clearly suffering from depression.  To my surprise, he embraced both comments.  So, then I couldn't break up with him because I broke him and felt a sense of responsibility to ensure he sought treatment for his depression. 

As time went on, I realized I didn't break him.  He came that way.  He had a lot of anger and most of it was directed inward but expressed outwardly.  He was a very black and white thinker and looked for the black.  He probably couldn't have listed anything positive about himself.  He seemed to only knew how to attract negative attention and used to create drama to sabotage himself from being successful at anything.  Turns out, he had wanted to change for a long time but didn't know how to get started. 

He received a formal diagnosis from his doctor and got treatment in the form of therapy and medication.  But, he did everything he could else.  He got workbooks, he took courses, he started talking to people, he started volunteering and sharing his journey on a blog and worked really hard at changing his self-talk.  It turned out, I hung around and was able to challenge him to keep going.   He worked hard.  And, the ripple effects were amazing.  Work, relationships, financial security, physical health all improved dramatically. 

And, then he became a grandpa.  Even though he told me many times that he loved me, he also told me that he never understood unconditional love until this happened. 

And, I began to notice something.  He used to black, grey, and navy.  And, now, he is wearing colours.  On Thursday, he was just sitting there smiling and staring at me.  What?  He said, "I am just loving my life right now.  Correction, I am loving our life now." 

So, ironically, in a few months we will celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  I am not sharing this post because I just want to brag about him.  No, I am sharing because he started his transformation in his late 40s.  Now, he is turning back the clock and looking forward to the rest of his life with zest.  It has been a difficult journey at times, and he has been blessed with great support from talented professionals, but he has kept going.  One day at a time.  It is never too late to live your best life. 

This evening he is out wearing a pumpkin orange shirt.  He texted me, "I look amazing in this shirt."  That amount of self-confidence makes me want to cry because I am so happy for him. 

However, clearly, I have created a monster !!!!