Manitoba is not a good place to suffer from mental illness

A long time ago, Jim McCrae was Attorney General of the Manitoba Government.  Now, I think they have renamed it Justice Minister.  Like I said, it was a long time ago.  Anyway, other than he was unqualified for this position, I remember one thing specifically.  The radio ads.  Apparently, the government changed the DUI ads for stiffer penalties.  The radio ads (maybe tv too) featured Jim McCrae saying "Manitoba is NOT a good place to drink and drive."  Everytime, I heard that ad, I would literally have to pull over because I was laughing so hard.  Like, there was a "good" place to drink and drive. 

It turns out the laugh was on me.  But, it wasn't about drinking and driving.  It was about depression. 

It turns out, Manitoba is NOT a good place to have depression. 

There is an article circulating on the internet about a young woman suffering from depression who died by suicide.  The article describes how much she and her family struggled to find support to prevent her death.  I have read her story  six or seven times, each time, I have felt worse for her and her family. 

Fragmented services.  Services not communicating with each other.  Lack of case management.  And, ultimately, she didn't get the service she needed because she didn't fit the mold of "depressed". 

While I may not be young nor attractive, I also don't fit the mold.  I am high functioning.  What does that mean?  It basically means I have a roof over my head and I can fool people into believing I am fine.  When I am so depressed that I can't practice basic hygiene, I stay away from people so they don't know.  When I can't get out of bed, I claim the flu so nobody knows.  I feel ashamed of how much I am suffering, so I lie to my doctor that I am doing well because I don't want to be hospitalized.  Which, I guess, means that I am fearful of getting better.  Since, I have done most of what I can do save hospitalization and don't feel better. 

We have come an incredible long way to reduce the stigma and we have empowered people o share their story, but, when they do, we don't believe them.  Why would anyone make this up?  It is not an easy process getting help.  Telling your story to strangers and jumping through hoops and usually being told "you are not sick enough".  Why do people believe me when I am acting and say that everything is ok, but they don't believe me when I am truthful, and say that I am not doing well right now and I need help. 

I just think of that beautiful smiling face on the internet.  How could anyone believe that she was not doing well?  Well, because she and her closest family said so.  And, that should be enough.  On this year, Manitoba's 150th anniversay, Manitoba should be a Good place to suffer from mental illness. 

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