Morning People
My father and brother used to play a game on me when I was a little girl. I would get up in the morning and my dad and brother would already be at the breakfast table. My dad would say, "Good morning, sweetheart!". It would be easy for him. He was already awake and full of coffee. My brother and him would have already been talking and reading the paper. I would reply, "good morning." But, it would be my first words of the day so I would be a little croaky. "Wow," my brother would say, "someone sure is grumpy this morning."
I am not grumpy.
Whoa, they both would say, stop snapping at us, just because you are grumpy in the mornings.
But, I'm not snapping.
There you go again.
And so it would go. They both would end up laughing and I would end up with a reputation for being grumpy.
I learned a couple of things. You can\t assert a positive to a negative. You will never win. All you can do is prove them wrong by your actions and not your words. By the end of these conversations, I was so determined not to be called grumpy that I ended up worse than grumpy. I would have been better to change the subject.
The other thing I learned was that you have to get up pretty early in the morning to beat my dad. And, so I did. I ended up getting up 15 minutes earlier than my dad. Now, I had the power and turned the tables on him. I would get up, put breakfast on, make him his coffee, and wait. Now, I had all the power and I sat waiting to label him as the grump. It didn't work and it did work. My dad was not grumpy so I couldn't win that way, but it turned out, we had some beautiful breakfasts and conversations together, so I really did win !!
That is what a healthy relationship is like. You either both win or you both lose. If you are focused on scoreboard watching, you aren't focused on a healthy mutually beneficial relationship.
I am not grumpy.
Whoa, they both would say, stop snapping at us, just because you are grumpy in the mornings.
But, I'm not snapping.
There you go again.
And so it would go. They both would end up laughing and I would end up with a reputation for being grumpy.
I learned a couple of things. You can\t assert a positive to a negative. You will never win. All you can do is prove them wrong by your actions and not your words. By the end of these conversations, I was so determined not to be called grumpy that I ended up worse than grumpy. I would have been better to change the subject.
The other thing I learned was that you have to get up pretty early in the morning to beat my dad. And, so I did. I ended up getting up 15 minutes earlier than my dad. Now, I had the power and turned the tables on him. I would get up, put breakfast on, make him his coffee, and wait. Now, I had all the power and I sat waiting to label him as the grump. It didn't work and it did work. My dad was not grumpy so I couldn't win that way, but it turned out, we had some beautiful breakfasts and conversations together, so I really did win !!
That is what a healthy relationship is like. You either both win or you both lose. If you are focused on scoreboard watching, you aren't focused on a healthy mutually beneficial relationship.
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