My history of hate

Growing up, I used to hate two things.  Well, that is not exactly true.  I didn't like two things.  Hate was a swear word in our house.  I was not allowed to use that word.   That tells you a lot about my parents and I think was a huge influence on my life.  I was never allowed to use that word so even typing it is difficult for me.  I am glad I grew up in a household where hate didn't exist.

So, okay, there were two things growing up that I intensely disliked.  One of them was borscht and the other was turnips.  What made things worse that both of these were considered delicacies by my parents and were served often.  

Every time, they were served, I would decline, reminding my parents that I didn't like them.  My dad would say the same thing every time, "taste with your mouth and not your eyes."  I insisted I had tried them many times and legitimately didn't like them.  The truth was that he was right.  I hadn't actually tried them, but, I was still convinced I didn't like them.  My mother took my dislike of these foods personally.  She had gone to the trouble of preparing them and she felt like I was rejecting her.  My father's interest in me liking these dishes was more practical.  He told me that one day I would meet a guy that I liked and this guy would take me home to have dinner with his family.  The odds were strong that I would be served one or both of these dishes and if I didn't eat them, my chances of a future with this guy would be over.   I was willing to take that chance because I didn't like borscht or turnips !!

I happily got to my mid twenties without trying either.  Then, one night things became difficult.  I was on a road trip and we stopped at the only small town restaurant there was and it is was late, etc.  They only had one thing left for purchase.  You guessed it.  Borscht.  I was starving and needed something in my tummy.   I also had a lot of proof that a single bowl of borscht would not kill me, so it was then and there that I had my first bowl of borscht.  And then my second and third.  It turned out borscht was absolutely delicious !!  I couldn't believe I wasted over two decades of my life without borscht.  

Of course, it was one thing to like borscht, but \I still didn't like turnips.  Another decade or two passed and I was at a potluck meeting of my Toastmaster club.  There was a very unique casserole and I tried it.  I don't know what else there was at this potluck; I'm sure it was all good - but, this casserole, it was amazing !!  I was the first person in line for seconds and I only took a second helping of this casserole.  When I finished my second helping, I looked back on the table and there was only one scoop left and people in line.  I'm not proud of this but I leaped up and actually tackled two Toastmasters in order to get the last scoop.  (If you are familiar with Toastmasters, you may not be as impressed by this!)  After the meeting, I had to get the recipe for this amazing casserole.  I found the cook and asked for him to email me the recipe for the casserole as soon as he got home.  I had to have it.  The cook sort of shrugged and didn't really appreciate my urgency.  He wrote something on a piece of paper, and told me it wasn't really a casserole, it was just a one ingredient vegetable dish.  I started shaking as I knew what was on this paper before I even looked at it.  Yes.   Turnip.  I hate to face my ugly truth.  I loved turnip.  

It turns out my dad was right all along.  I had tasted both with my eyes instead of my mouth.  I had made ignorant judgments based on colour.  I didn't like the colour of each of those foods.  But, when I actually tried them, I loved them.  

My hatred of two vegetables was based on ignorance.  It turns out I was the loser because I missed out for a long time on something wonderful.   

This morning, I was very troubled by new expressions of hatred of Jews in my community.  I have never understood antisemitism so today I spent a couple of hours trying to understand by reading all I could on the subject.  I am no closer to understanding.   It turns out there is no rational explanation.  It is entirely based on ignorance.   People have tasted with their eyes instead of their mouths.  They believe an untrue conception they have without actually experiencing Judaism.  Maybe they are just like me.  Missing out on something pretty amazing.  

Common sense should tell us to make decisions on the basis of experience.   It may lead to a lot less hate in the world.  Lead with love.