Disclosure

This picture is part of my history.  It is funny how time has sort of slowed down so much.  I want to tell you about something that happened in May.  That wasn't that long ago but it seems like history.

The weather was nice and we were all getting anxious to be outside.  We were urged to go for walks but stay within our circle of people that we lived with.  I just took a book and found a bench in a small park.  There were four young guys sitting close to me.  Not close enough to violate social distancing recommendations but close enough that I could eavesdrop on their conversations. 

It didn't look like they were room-mates but I didn't know for sure and they were drinking beverages that you needed to be 18 to purchase.  None of my business.  They were outside and were social distancing.  I could relate to the need to see my friends. 

The reason they caught my attention, though, was because they were sharing an image on a phone and were saying that her actual name was "such and such".  No, it can't be, one would say.  Honestly, the other said, I talked to her and her name is actually "such and such".  No way.  Well, you can probably see where this is going. 

I was interested because the name "such and such" was entirely unfamiliar to me but now I was very curious.  It turned out that "such and such" is the name of a famous porn star and the image they were sharing was a woman from Tinder who shared this name. 

So, then they started sharing their experiences on Tinder, which was less interesting and didn't hold my attention.  Tinder was still happening during the shut-down but people were just talking and no one was meeting in person.  Then, one shared a profile of a woman that they all agreed was attractive.  They started reading her profile, and she was checking off every box for them, until near the end, the woman revealed that she was transgender. 

The four guys were actually pissed off that they wasted about a minute reading this profile as they felt that should have been the first thing disclosed. 

This was really the topic of an amazing new documentary called Disclosure.  I highly recommend this and suggest watching with your children.  There is so much history and ethical discussions to be held.  You can learn so much.  If you are considering keeping your children out of school, there are so many tools to find in daily life to adapt to academic curriculum.  This documentary really makes you think.

Why do we expect transgender people to "disclose" to us at first meeting that they were born with the wrong genitalia?  Seriously, that is all it is.  I can relate.  I was born with the wrong last name.  You see, my last name implies that I am anglo-saxon.  I simply am not.  I identify with being Ukrainian.  Look at me, I look Ukrainian, I act Ukrainian, I follow the news in "the old country" as much as anyone, I am just Ukrainian.  Yet, no one expects me to disclose that I am Ukrainian until I am comfortable in doing so. 

Believe me, I am not trivializing the journey of transgender people.  I am trying to trivialize why they have had to go on painful journeys.  It is none of anyone's business that I was born with the wrong last name.  It also should be none of anyone's business that someone was born with the wrong genitalia. 

What gives four bozos sitting in a park the right to be outraged that they spent a minute reading a profile of a woman who was brave enough to disclose something that shouldn't have to be disclosed. 

Peace out.