Thank You For Being My Friend

Before I was an adult, I was a teenager.  Can you relate to this?  Anyway, as a teenager, I attended high school.  There was a girl in my high school who wore way too much eye makeup, particularly black eyeliner.  Seriously, I was very curious of how much she spent on eyeliner.  I think she was the inspiration for raccoons. I remember thinking that I wished I was her friend so I could tell her that it wasn't a flattering look.  As it happened, we weren't friends and ran in different crowds.  She ran in the crowd that would beat you up for criticizing one's choice of make-up.  A few years (cough decades), I was buying groceries and she happened to be my cashier.  Her use of eyeliner hadn't changed.  I still couldn't tell that she would look so much prettier without it because I still wasn't her friend, but, I was really sad that no one had told her such in all that time.

I am very thankful that I have friends that tell me the truth.  Years ago, I bought a two-piece purple pant suit.  It was a questionable purchase at the time because I wasn't sure if I could pull off that much purple.  But, it was on clearance and so incredibly cheap that I couldn't pass it up because ultimately, I am from Manitoba and have a hard time passing up a deal.  As it turns out, it was on clearance for a reason and the reason was not because it was popular.  Well, my friends at work called me "Barney" and started singing the theme song to the show when they saw me.  I wore the outfit once.

One day when I had no clean clothes to wear to work, I found a dress in my closet with origin unknown.  But, it was clean.  I went through the day and as I was leaving, my friend Rhonda told me to go home and throw the dress out and never wear it again.  She said she didn't want to upset me earlier.

Anyway, I am grateful that I have friends that tell me the truth.  .

I also know there are some people that are just mean and just say things that may or may not be the truth.  I have certainly endured my share of catty comments that are hurtful.  Some people can't tell the difference between a comment that is meant out of concern and a comment that is meant to be hurtful.  I feel sorry for those people.  They don't know who their real friends are. 

For me, it is easy to tell who my friends are.  When people first meet me, they call me Shelley.  When they have crossed over from acquaintance to friend, they call me Shell.  It is just a natural thing that happens. 

Other people really don't know.  It must be difficult to walk in their shoes.  I can't imagine what it is like for President Trump. It seems that everyone he trusts or has as a confidant writes a tell-all book about him.  I guess it is understandable that he only trusts those who share his last name. 

Years ago, I remember hearing some bad news happening to a colleague of mine.  The next time I saw him I expressed concern for him.  It was genuine but apparently he didn't think so.  He started yelling at me.and people gathered around.  If he was trying to keep his bad news secret, he blew it.  Also, it was good to know.  He obviously didn't think I was expressing concern in good faith so I didn't have to spend any more time cultivating that relationship. 

So, here we are in a remarkable place in history.  Covid19 has turned our world upside down at the same time as a social justice reckoning.  Three of my friends have had coronavirus.  All three had difficult paths with the virus in terms of symptoms and recovery.  As a grandparent, I want my angel to attend pre-school next week.  I know how positive of an experience it will be with him.  But, at the same time, I am also scared for him to go back to school, especially pre-school where a great deal of learning comes through play.  I have a friend whose daughter works at a place that has been in the news for getting repeated fines for not following public health guidelines.  I understand she needs money the job but I still express concern for her safety.  She is a young woman but she still appreciates my concern.  I also have a friend who teaches at a colony and won't be going back to work because the colony is closed.  I feel two things.  I am sorry that he won't be having a job for the foreseeable future and I am also glad that he won't be exposing himself to harm. 

People are complicated and relationships are complicated.  But, I also believe that most people are genuine.  I know that I only express concern when it is genuine.  And, I am grateful for my friends who also tell me the truth.  I have already planned my week.  On Friday, I am wearing an outfit that I haven't worn in a few years.  I can't wait for my friends to tell me how it looks.