My feet are not my feet

This may sound strange but my feet are not my feet.  I mean, I can see them at the end of ankles and see that they are attached to me, but, honestly you have to believe me, they are not my feet. 

With every step I take, I feel like my feet are betraying me.  Those things that are at the bottom of me are not mine.  That is not how my feet feel when they take a step. 

My feet frustrate me because they are not my feet and I can't stand them.  I look at them as little as possible because I get angry And the thing is, I know my feet are trapped within these feet. I can feel my feet inside my feet so I have done things to try and correct this.  I have scratched them until they bleed. It actually makes me feel good seeing them bleed because I feel that means that they are closer to be actual feet. 

When I got to a pool and am walking back to the change room, I look at the wet foot prints and scowl.  Those aren't my foot prints.  I don't know those things at the end of me are making those prints, but they aren't my foot prints.

Because I can't stand them, I don't do good care of my feet.  It shows.  I don't wear sandals or any type of footwear that might expose them to the rest of the world.  I can't stand my feet so I have no interest in putting nice shoes on them.  I wear the ugliest shoes I can find because I think that it what these feet deserve.  They aren't mine.  I don't know how my feet got trapped within my feet but somehow it happened.  It wasn't my fault but I blame myself. 

The truth is that they are my feet.  They don't seem like my feet because I have been walking, dancing, skipping, climbing, and jogging on them for decades.  They have flattened out a bit over time.  I have some scars from injuries.  Throughout my lifetime, I have lost a number of toenails through some unfortunate accidents.  When they have grown back, they have grown back thicker.  As we age, our skin becomes drier and more easily irritated.  These are my feet. 

However, I would like you to read this again one more time.   Only this time, I want you to substitute "body" for "feet".  I can't imagine the anguish someone must feel when they have been born with the wrong body.  It must be horrific.  The people who know this deseerve our understanding. 

I am glad that the LGBTQ community has allowed an A to their acronym.  The A stands for ally.  I will never be able to understand the journey of a transgender, however, I will pledge to listen and I hope I will sincerely be an ally. 

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