My problem is .......

Who am I kidding?  Like I only have one problem.  Sheesh.  I have a lot of problems, much like everyone in the universe.  The human experience is universal and that is what I love about our struggle with life.  On many levels, we can all relate with each other.

One thing that I struggle to do is to live my life more mindfully.  That is the way to build a life worth living.  Live in the moment and accumulate moments of enjoyment.  Sounds simple.  It isn't. 

My problem is that I borrow from the past and I borrow from the future which I should just be simply living in the moment. 

I will give you two examples. 

A colleague at work thanks me for covering for her last week when she left early and she brings me some home-made muffins.  If I was living mindfully, I would say "thanks, and enjoy the muffins."  But, I have a hard time doing that.  I remember that one time I left early and she tattled on me so I think she is setting me up somehow.  Or, I borrow from the future and think she is trying to fatten me up even more so that my self-esteem will erode.  Now, both those scenarios are technically possible, but they are also real long shots.  So, even if they are true, I am wasting energy thinking about them.  The best course of action is just to say thank you and to share my muffins with the first people I see. 

In the second example, the same colleague approaches me after a staff meeting and tells me she didn't find my argument on agenda item 4 to be coherent.  Now, living mindfully, I could inquire further and possibly learn something that might help me in the future.  But, no, I borrow from the past.  She has always been out to get me and she finds anyway to put me down.  Or, I borrow from the future.  She is taking notes on things I do wrong to try and sandbag me later. 

Take it from me, it is exhausting.  It is exhausting to over think everything.  Much easier to live in the moment and take things at face value.  Accept a compliment.  Accept a critique as coming from a place of compassionate kindness. 

We have trained our brains to always think hidden agenda and doom and gloom.  The good news we can also train our brain to think positive vibes.  Our brains are tired.  Give them a rest. 

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