One Small Community Approaches Addiction/Student Match - Part 2

We went to our Student Match retreat and had a wonderful amazing time, but at the same time, we were emotionally exhausted.  We were learning a lot of adult information and we were still in high school.  We did a lot of role playing and we did a lot of personal sharing.  We couldn't expect our junior matches to share with us if we were uncomfortable sharing on our journeys.  In addition to sharing our dark side, we also had many exercises to bring us up emotionally, but the roller coaster was exhausting.  Even though we were emotionally and spiritually exhausted, we had lots of physical energy.  As I mentioned, we played "duck duck goose" for hours at the end of Saturday night. 

There were two girls in our program that I didn't feel were participating to the fullest.  But, we were taught not to judge so I was doing my best.  Except, they were the only ones who didn't play "duck duck goose."  No one had taught me the QTIP method of handling thins.  Quit Taking It Personally.  I brought the game to the group, I was taking it personally that they weren't playing.  We played the game until our bodies got as exhausted as our psyches and then we went to sleep. 

At breakfast, we couldn't help but notice that one of our faculty was crying and the others were around her comforting her and everyone was whispering. 

At that point, we were faced with an adult decision.  The group was told that the two girls who didn't play the "duck duck goose" game had gone off and used substances in violation of the contract we signed.  The faculty decided that the group would decide if these girls could still participate in the program. 

This was a huge adult decision.  I didn't know what substance they used.  It could have been alcohol or it could have been marijuana.  I knew it wasn't cigarettes because that was allowed.  It was further oomplicated by who the girls were.  One was the daughter of one of the faculty.  Also, the girls had left so they didn't get a chance to tell their story so we had no idea of their level of remorse, if any. 

We sat in a circle and discussed.  We felt that if the girls signed a contract and still couldn't be without their substances for 30 hours, that likely meant they had a problem with addiction.  Our program was designed to prevent addiction and here we had two people who, if they didn't have an addiction, they were on their way.  Didn't we have an obligation to help them?  That was a good point.  Someone else said that our primary responsibility was to help the Junior Matches and could we trust those girls to be clean when they were with the Junior Matches?  Even though these girls needed help, was this the right venue to give it to them?  It was background noise, but we knew that not every one in the school system was excited about this program.  This incident alone might cause the program to be canceled.  We had to show leadership to make the right decision.  The Junior matches had already been picked so if we kicked these girls out of the program, that would be two matches who wouldn't receive the program and that wasn't fair to them.  I didn't want to comment because I wanted them out of the program, but for the reasons.  I wanted them out for spite.  They didn't play my game.  You don't want to mess with me.  (Yes, I am still spiteful, but I'm working on it.  Really.)  Some people thought that everyone deserves a second chance.  Others thought if we give them a second chance, we will end up giving fourth and fifth chances and where does this end? 

Finally, the girl that I was previously afraid of, the one with the incredible smile, spoke.  She took our adult problem and made it very simple.  "Oh for goodness sakes, (that is the edited version), if you are going to forgive these girls, then I wish I would known before because I would have brought my baggie and smoked up with them." 

The simplest solution.  You are free to choose to break the rules, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice. 

In other words, common sense.  We have made life very complex in the absence of using common sense.  That beautiful woman with the beautiful smile didn't realize how wise her words were.  Common sense being common practice.  That is the inspiration for my common sense revolution.