Ryan Fry Returns to Curling After Brief Absence

Ryan Fry is back with Team Jacobs and curling in a Pinty's Grand Slam Event.  He did a press conference to discuss his return after a brief period of reflection and all is forgotten.  He noted that he got a lot of messages of love and support and they were very much appreciated.  He also noted that he got some messages of hate and he was using those messages as fuel to do better. 

I guess my hand should be raised as one of those who sent a message of hate.  However, only someone who still hasn't "done the work" would see that as a message of hate.  It was actually a message of hope and support.  I cared enough about him and his career to try and be a mirror and just reflecting back what I saw in him. 

Believe me, no one was cheering for Small Fry more than I throughout his career.  First of all, I thought his dad was a class act.  Back before anyone made any money in curling, Barry Fry was traveling the bonspiel circuit in Manitoba.  He came to Dauphin a oouple of times a year and was nice to all.  At the time, we didn't have the greatest ice, and despite being the Honeymoon capital of Manitoba, there wasn't a lot to draw someone to Dauphin.  He came because he loved to curl.  \

Ryan was just a kid who loved to throw rocks.  I remember being a kid who loved to throw rocks.  I used to come before games and spend half an hour just throwing rocks.  In between games, I would throw rocks on the last sheet to cleaned.  If there was a bonspiel, I would go an early before the 9 am draw and throw rocks.  I just loved throwing rocks.  I dreamed of being a competitive curler but I wasn't prepared to do much other than throwing rocks a few times a week. 

Ryan Fry was just a kid who loved throwing rocks and wanted to make his livelihood curling. At the time he was a kid, that didn't seem possible.  He made it happen.  He put in his time.  For whatever reason, he wasn't able to skip a team that shared his dream and commitment.  He apprenticed under Jeff Stoughton for a few years as second.  He then uprooted his life and moved to Newfoundland.  He continued as second and then moved to third.  Presumably he gave it his best shot, but there was no chemistry with Gushue.  Possibly because they were more alike than were willing to admit.  It seems he was fired from that time, however, it might have been mutual.  Regardless, he moved again.  This time to Sault Ste. Marie to play third for Brad Jacobs.  The team branded themselves as the most physically fit curling team and worked hard to obtain this.  Was it chemistry that led them to a gold medal?  Possibly, but it was more like intensity.  The team put an unbelievable intensity in every game.  An intensity level that could never be sustained.  Despite success as a team, Ryan then chose to move to Toronto and now to Calgary.  He continues to play with the Jacobs team.  The team is still successful, but they were also successful during his hiatus away.  Ultimately, I don't think the team will have much future success.  Their formula for success was their team play.  It is hard to manufacture that on the weekends when the team lives three provinces away from each other and practice independently.  When you practice by yourself, you are just another kid who likes throwing rocks and that doesn't translate into being part of a successful team.  Also, Ryan has managed to find other activities in curling that are earning him money. 

And so led to the "incident".  Ryan was sparing for another team. Of course, he loves to curl.  He is a long way from his team.  He is going to take every opportunity he can to curl.  I get that.  That is who he is.  But, the public saw another side of who he is.  A human being with flaws and issues to work on.  Like every human being.  We are all flawed with things to work on.  He apologized and took time off the game to pursue a hedonistic journey.  He is back after a brief hiatus.  Perhaps not enough time to "do the work" necessary.  No one can answer that except him.  A cynic would say that he came back too quickly because he needed the money or that he wasn't comfortable watching his team succeed without him.  I have no idea.

However, I do no one thing speaking as an expert in having problems.  If you are using hate as fuel, you will not succeed.  Negative emotions love each other.  They tend to like to stay together.  They don't burn up like traditional fuel and leave.  They stay.  If you are using hate as fuel, you are motivated by evil forces working against you.  The only way to heal is doing it for yourself and from a position of compassionate kindness.  Motivated by hate.  Look through history.  Hasn't worked out very well.