My New Year's Eve Dilemma

 

It has been a struggle to look at the world through rose coloured glasses lately.  As we approach the New Year,  we don't have much positiveness left inside of us, but we seem to have heaps of negative energy.  There is lots to not like as we head into a New Year;  cases are rising and new records are occurring almost daily; really low temperatures;  backlogs in testing; no rapid tests unless you have a substance problems, if seems, lack of plans for a safe return to school, to name but a few.  

In my own life, I have a pain in a region that it not known to have pains.  It is a place on the body designed to provide pleasure yet I feel like I have been hit with a baseball bat.  I know, I am over-sharing, but it hurts like a blazes.  My ex-husband was a cattle farmer and I am more familiar that I would like to be with the calving process.  Older cows often experience prolapse when they are giving birth.  It is not pleasant and the "cure" is temporary and also not pleasant.  I don't know how painful a prolapse is for a cow.  They don't usually have a reaction and we have domesticated so many natural instincts out of cows, including pain.  But, when I used to look at a prolapse, I would imagine what that would feel like.  And, that if what I feel like now.  Except, it is definitively not a uterine prolapse because I no longer have a uterus.  

So, I am a little stumped about what it is but, I do know that it is painful.  Anyway, on to the dilemma.  

I don't want to go to walk-in nor do I want to phone my physician to see if she will squeeze me in.  Frankly, I know she would squeeze me in, but, I know the health care system is worked to the point of exhaustion.  I don't want to add to its stress.  I want people who have or suspect they have Covid19 to be cared for and I want their loved ones to be cared for as well.  I just don't want to add to the strain of our health care system.  

So, this is what 2021 has done to us. We are mad at the world and mostly at each other that we are not taking care of ourselves emotionally or physically and that is making us weaker in every way.  

Let's take care of ourselves.