Sometimes You Want to Be in Bad Mood

 

Sometimes you want to be in a bad mood.  Today, I want to be in a bad mood.  And, I emphasise bad.  I don't want to feel sad.  Sad is just too overwhelming today.  And, I want a change from feeling sad.  I don't want to wallow in self-pity, I don't want to be anxious, I don't want to feel desperate, and I don't want to feel angry.  Unfortunately, I have learned a lot of dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) skills over the last two years.  Unfortunately, these skills have become muscle memory.  So, when I am feeling "big" emotions, my mind knows strategies to reduce these big feelings.  Usually, I am grateful for these skills, but not today.  Today, I am determined to be in a bad mood.  It is really difficult because I am seeing nothing but happy people in a festive spirit.  And, for some reason, both the news and social media are doing nothing but sharing the good stuff.  Seriously, how annoying is that.  

Thank goodness, I have a great go-to that will guarantee that I can be in a bad mood.  I stopped working from a particular company in 2019 and I am trying to get that company to let the investment company know this information so that I can access my pension funds.  I have been passively trying since 2019, but I have been actively trying to get them to do this since September.  I am starting to admire my stamina and perseverance.  Some may ask, "well, have you tried this....?"  Yes, whatever suggestion you may have, I had tried it.  I have done it all and all I have gotten is a bad mood.  I have to say it is comforting knowing that I always have something locked and loaded that can put me in a bad mood.  

Now, it is my choice.  Do I try again for the next hour knowing that all I will accomplish is being in a bad mood?  Or, do I immerse myself in something that will put me in a positive mood.  The more I think about it, I more I decide that I want to send out positive energy to the universe because I want some to return to me.  Though, I have to admit, it is also comforting to have an option to put me in a bad mood.  

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