The Camera Doesn't Lie

The camera doesn't lie.  That was the take-home message from an inspirational speaker that I saw a few years ago.  Basically, if you are sitting next to someone you truly love and a picture is taken, that love will be evident.  In contrast, if you are sitting next to someone you pretend to like and a picture is taken, the camera will capture that as well, despite your best efforts to project something different.  If you pretending to be happy in a job that you detest, the camera will capture that pretense.  Whatever it is, the camera doesn't lie.

The speaker didn't have to sell me on that concept.  Years earlier, I had attended a one evening class on "interpreting family photographs".  It was so revealing because, well, the camera doesn't lie.  One by one, we all showed our series of family photographs and the instructor told us insights about our families based on the pictures.  The observations were remarkably accurate.  It wasn't a fortune telling trick.  By the end of the class, we were also able to make remarkable insights on the basis of the pictures.

The first thing you look for is someone who can be cut out of the picture without making any difference to the picture.  That is the person who really isn't connected to the rest of the members of the family.  The person is there but not really there. Or conversely, look at the person who can not be removed.  It doesn't matter what position they are in the picture, they can not be cut out without destroying the picture.  The person who always seems to have their arm around people or occupies the centre of the picture.  That is the nucleus of the family and the person with the most power in the family.  Some families like to take a bunch of pictures of individuals.  This family is a healthy family not afraid of someone venturing out and sharing family secrets.  Some family pictures appear overly posed and a picture seems like something they have to endure rather than something they enjoy.  This family is very afraid of the world and believe that their only worth lies within the family and they have to "honour thy family" at all costs.  You get a feel for a family by looking at their pictures.  Some families just like getting their pictures taken together yet don't care that everyone is smiling or looking the same way.  They are all strong independent people who enjoy each other's company.  Some family pictures are a collection of people who are sitting or standing next to each other but nobody is touching.  This is family only pretending to be close as there is space between them all.  Sitting.  Standing.  Posed,  Ironic funny pose.  Natural.  Forced.  Smiling.  Laughing.  Confident.  Close.  Far.  Afraid.  Enjoying.  Enduring.  Whatever it is, the camera really doesn't lie.

In my family, we have a tradition for our photographs.  We like to stand in front of something like a statue or something of interest and we like to point at the object.  We just think that is hilarious because obviously the "object of interest" is what the picture is about yet we point at it.  This tradition has been handed down for generations.  There are two ways that one can interpret this.  The first is that there is something missing in the family that they can't take pictures unless there is a reason to such as object of interest.  The family is not tightly bonded with love but need something else for them to bond with such as tradition.  There is a second way to interpret this and that is this is a collection of individuals who are tied together with an inside joke that nobody else gets.  We look for any opportunity to spice up our lives and have a good time.   Obviously, I chose to believe the latter interpretation.  In any case, the camera doesn't lie.

There was a "family picture" taken at the end of April that I was drawn to and I feel offers so many insights.  It was the picture of POTUSes and FLOTUSes that attended the celebration of Barbara Bush's life.

First of all, if you want to get insight into Barbara Bush, look at her photographs.  When cameras caught her in a spontaneous moment or with children or when she doesn't know that the camera lens was on her, most pictures show her smiling with her mouth open.  She looked beautiful and there was a woman who was comfortable in her own skin and not afraid to speak her mind.  In contrast, she didn't look comfortable in those posed "official" pictures which were a necessary evil.  She was much more comfortable being just her natural self.

But, this picture of all of them together.  It speaks volumes to me.

First of all, George H.W. Bush is in the center in his wheelchair.  His smile is forced and no one is kneeling around him in order to make him truly part of the picture.  That is no surprise.  He just lost the love of his life and he couldn't less about this picture and it shows.  Despite that he was once President of the most powerful country in the world, in this picture, he is just a heart-broken old man.  It kind of speaks to me that you can have every advantage and unlimited wealth, but your biggest asset is the one you love the most.

Then, there is Melania and Michelle not only standing next to each other but standing arm in arm.  What a wonderful show of support for each other.  It looks sincere.  Michelle is beautiful as she always is.  Her beauty radiates from within and the camera just doesn't lie.  I have never seen a bad picture of her.

Then, there is Melania, the former model.  To my surprise, she is the same size as Michelle.  And, not to sound too judgey but her hair is a mess and her dress is frumpy.  She doesn't look like a former model, despite that is all we really know about her.  This picture tells me that she wants to be known as so much more.  She doesn't want to be a former model, she wants to help people and she wants to contribute to the betterment of society as FLOTUS.  Plus, she is smiling.  Not only smiling, but a toothy smile.  She looks so comfortable standing there with people who despise her husband.  Every photo I have seen of her with Donald, she is smiling with the model smile.  You know the one, no teeth shown and the lips in a slight pout.  In this picture, she is radiant and happy.

And, then there is Barack.  he is smiling but he is a little disconnected from everyone.  Space between him and everyone.  This man charts his own course but also may be a little bit conceited that he doesn't really part of this group.

Bill Clinton is there but he could easily be cut out of the picture without changing the picture, like a crazy uncle that we have to include in the picture but no one really is connected to him and his best years are behind him.

And, finally, George W., Laura, and Hillary.  George is in the middle with one arm around Laura and one arm around Hillary.  I think this picture of W is telling.  Regardless of what you think of his politics, W was called upon again and again to comfort the nation.  911.  The Challenger disaster and more.  George took his role as comforter to heart and is still trying to reach out and comfort.  Also, it looks like he still feels the weight of the world on his shoulder.   But, still reaching out to both sides of the aisle.

Laura just looks radiant.  She never was that happy is the public eye and is enjoying the freedom of semi-retirement.  She is wearing a simple black dress but looks very classy.  It shows that you don't need a lot of "smoke and mirrors" to show class.  I am sure the single strand of pearls shows respect to her mother-in-law.

And there is Hillary cuddling with W.  The camera doesn't lie.  Her smile is not fake.  She is enjoying herself and perhaps at peace with her loss.  She is physically separated from Bill by George's arm.  I am likely reading too much into this but it seems with time, she has also reflected and may have come to terms with the fact that she was Bill Clinton's wife had a negative impact on the election.  They don't share a strong connection.

It is fun looking at pictures and make observations.  Some may be true, some not. 

But, whatever you think, you should believe that the camera doesn't lie.  Basically, if you are pretending through life, you may be able to fool a lot of people, even yourself, but you won't fool a camera.