Winning at Communicating
They say that when you are in an argument with a significant other that you either both win or both lose. Sometimes you can be on the right side of an argument but lose a lot more than just an argument.
Yesterday, my sweetie called me just as I was on a mission.
"Did you want anything specific? Otherwise, I will call you back because I was just taking the recycling out."
"Oh, well when I take the recycling out, this is how I do it......."
I assumed he must have heard me wrong. I guess he thought I told him I was going to run out and pave the driveway. I didn't know there was a right way and a wrong way to take out the recycling. Regardless, I have actually taken the recycling out before without incident. I think I have got this one.
This is the classic man vs woman communication break-down. The woman is just sharing a piece of information. The man takes this as an invitation to solve a problem.
I was a little frustrated and may have accidentally hung up on him. After I took the recycling out and was washing my hands, I remembered that we have a shared goal in 2018. We are trying to build a happier life.
It is not that difficult, really. We are just trying to have more moments of mutual enjoyment. We are just getting excited over mundane things. So, we have to drive an extra 5 kms to another grocery store to catch a good deal. It is worth it as we are able to save an additional $.03 on a can of mushrooms. Yes, we are celebrating those moments that we have achieved together. And, the bigger moments of happiness. We are recording them. So, far in 2018, we have 39 substantial moments of success. We have posted this where we can both see it. It is powerful. This is really a good year.
So, I have a choice to make. I can either be ticked off that he doesn't think I am competent enough to take out the recycling. Or, I can objectively check the facts. The fact is that I have a wonderful supportive partner who wants me to be a success in whatever I chose to do and also wants to make my life easier. I actually don't know which version is the facts. He either thinks I am a moron or he is trying to make life easier for me. But, for today, I am going to chose the latter. It is an easy choice. I have more than enough evidence to show how supportive he is to me. Plus, I want to put #40 on our list. I'm not going to get there if I chose to get upset over this one.
Regardless of how, the recycling has been taken out and our relationship is intact.
Winning at communication.
Yesterday, my sweetie called me just as I was on a mission.
"Did you want anything specific? Otherwise, I will call you back because I was just taking the recycling out."
"Oh, well when I take the recycling out, this is how I do it......."
I assumed he must have heard me wrong. I guess he thought I told him I was going to run out and pave the driveway. I didn't know there was a right way and a wrong way to take out the recycling. Regardless, I have actually taken the recycling out before without incident. I think I have got this one.
This is the classic man vs woman communication break-down. The woman is just sharing a piece of information. The man takes this as an invitation to solve a problem.
I was a little frustrated and may have accidentally hung up on him. After I took the recycling out and was washing my hands, I remembered that we have a shared goal in 2018. We are trying to build a happier life.
It is not that difficult, really. We are just trying to have more moments of mutual enjoyment. We are just getting excited over mundane things. So, we have to drive an extra 5 kms to another grocery store to catch a good deal. It is worth it as we are able to save an additional $.03 on a can of mushrooms. Yes, we are celebrating those moments that we have achieved together. And, the bigger moments of happiness. We are recording them. So, far in 2018, we have 39 substantial moments of success. We have posted this where we can both see it. It is powerful. This is really a good year.
So, I have a choice to make. I can either be ticked off that he doesn't think I am competent enough to take out the recycling. Or, I can objectively check the facts. The fact is that I have a wonderful supportive partner who wants me to be a success in whatever I chose to do and also wants to make my life easier. I actually don't know which version is the facts. He either thinks I am a moron or he is trying to make life easier for me. But, for today, I am going to chose the latter. It is an easy choice. I have more than enough evidence to show how supportive he is to me. Plus, I want to put #40 on our list. I'm not going to get there if I chose to get upset over this one.
Regardless of how, the recycling has been taken out and our relationship is intact.
Winning at communication.
Comments
Post a Comment