Bravery

I was meeting friends for dinner last night at a pub.  One of us lives life loudly so we try and pick a noisy pub where we can be loud and no one notices over the cheers of sports fans.  I happened to notice a friend sitting by herself eating dinner.  It was a little odd and I couldn't figure if she wanted company or not.  She didn't have a book, and she was at a noisy pub, so I figured she was open for company.  I invited her to join us and she declined but she said it was alright if I joined her for a bit.

She said she was just taking a little holiday from life.  She came to the noisiest place she could so she wouldn't have to hear herself think.  That's all she was doing lately, thinking.  Thinking, reading, wishing.  Her son was in trouble.  I had no idea.  He was still in high school and was addicted to meth.  I was ruining her holiday.  She didn't want to think about it for an evening, but, somehow, we went to a quiet coffee shop and started talking.  She was so worried about her son.  She and her husband had a good life and had two older children who appeared to be doing fine.  She doesn't know anything they did differently with their baby except maybe baby him a little more.  She had questioned every decision, cried a thousand times, prayed a million prayers.  Also, she and her husband told him every day that they loved him.  It started innocently enough.  Her son had a sports injury and was given a fentanyl patch to manage the pain.  And, then, the rest was history.  It wasn't a long history, only about 9 months.  She loves her son so much, but, addiction seems stronger at this point.  She doesn't want to think of the immediate future.  Some nights he comes home and is so irrational and can't even have a conversation, he is so whacked out that she can't even describe it.  She likes those nights the best.  Atleast he is home and not out accidentally overdosing.  I was just at the right place and the right time and so she talked to me.  I don't know if I would be that brave.  I learned so much that I didn't really want to know.  The meth crisis is real.  Addiction is powerful.

I never would have known.  I guess you never really know what goes on behind closed doors.  My friend decided she didn't want to keep pretending.  She let someone know what goes on behind closed doors.  And, in doing so, she gained an ally who will always be there to listen.  She didn't lose anything. 

I admire people who are brave enough to tell what goes on behind closed doors.  Behind my closed doors, I am scared of everything.  I am glued to my couch.  Everything is difficult.  I don't know why I like to stay behind closed doors but I do.